22/07/2025
This! ✨️🫶
It’s likely no surprise to learn that all of us have inner voices, private conversations we have with ourselves. Neuroscience has discovered that those voices are naturally more negative than positive in tone. Unfortunately, children’s inner voices are particularly negative, usually driven by doubt, fear, and shame.
Think about how many times children and teens hear the word “no” or experience negativity in their families or classrooms. Positive words translate into optimism, belief in self, and hope in the future. Meanwhile, with just one flash of the word “no,” our brains release dozens of stress-producing hormones and neurotransmitters that create havoc with our normal functioning.
When we speak negative thoughts, whether they are about illness, fear, worry or disapproval, additional stress chemicals are released. And this doesn’t stop with our brains. The brains of those within earshot are changed too, causing anxiety and irritability in our listeners. As a result, trust and cooperation between people is undermined. And if not rectified, negativity can destroy family relationships and cause emotional harm.
Research suggests three ways to increase positive thinking in children:
🌞 Learn how to have a great day by encouraging children to design a day with you or someone close to them that would make both people happy, followed by savouring and reflecting on the positive experience.
🌞 Develop their best selves by showing interest in them and the kind of young people they want to become. Ask them what feels good to them and tell them what you noticed about them, because a key aspect in developing best selves is by children becoming self-aware.
🌞 Foster gratitude by helping kids focus on the present moment and fostering their imagination, and also by speaking their gratitude aloud to make it even more powerful and transformative.
Meanwhile, some core communication tips to encourage positivity in young people include:
🌻 Slowing down your speech to encourage calmness and increase connection
🌻 Thinking about your words to say "yes" whenever possible, or reframe responses to be worded in a positive way, or invite positive conversation on the topic so that your child understands your decision-making process.
🌻 Taking a deep breath and lighten up your voice before engaging in conversation, using good eye contact and a warm tone.
🌻 And modelling positive thinking whenever possible, showing our children what a difference it makes to see a cup half full rather than half empty.
And of course, one of the beautiful things about positive thinking is that it's impossible to encourage it all around ourselves without encouraging it within ourselves. By paying attention to how we communicate and by understanding how children become positive thinkers, we can improve outcomes for everyone.
References:
https://www.rootsofaction.com/negativity-and-your-childs-brain/?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTAAAR19vWRHKjfI-r80RtPfSRN5iWPNh8fKr5DH7S1L-_JTrcpDAV8MvucrjRY_aem_MmPtnYyGuK0SR4Lavpsu1g
