05/03/2026
"Ima, are we going to die?"
My child asked this yesterday in the mamad and my heart stopped.
As a parent, you want to say 'No, sweetheart everything is fine.' You want to protect them from fear.
But here is the truth - they are already afraid. The question did not create the fear. It exposed the fear. And they shared with you. Because you are their safe space.
If you lie to them now, they will know. Children read your nervous system, not your words.
So what do we do?
Validate the fear - "That's a scary thought. It makes sense that you're worried."
Give facts - "We have an Iron Dome. We have shelter/mamad."
Give control - "What can you do to feel more confident now?"
Reassure with presence - "I am here with you. We are together."
Your child does not need a parent who is not afraid. You are allowed to be afraid.
He needs a parent who knows how to deal with fear.
And if you find it difficult to regulate yourself, you are not weak! That is the harsh reality of living under the threat of missiles.
Parents - how do you handle your child's hard questions? Share in the comments, we are all going through this together.
Stay safe!
Nofar Schottlender | LiCBT therapist | Neuroscientist
Sessions in Hod HaSharon or remote | Hebrew and English
