Mandy Hoyland CBT

04/06/2024

Forest fires, rockets flying North and South, evacuees, and hostages STILL held in Gaza - all these serve to increase our stress here in Israel - and that's not mentioning the constant worry for the wellbeing of our beautiful soldiers.

One way to reduce this stress is to limit your exposure to the news.
Of course it's important to know what's going on, however seeing the same images over and over can trigger anxiety, and can be harmful. Personally I mostly just read the news or listen to it, and not every day either.

Staying in touch with your values, and routinely actively checking whether you are functioning in line with what's important to you, will contribute to your well-being, even during hectic times like these.

Try focusing on one particular value, and consciously "sprinkling" it into every day tasks. Each day could be devoted to a different value. If we can't change the world, at least we can influence our own reactions for the better.

Good luck!

29/03/2024

“Spring forward, fall back”. We’ve just moved the clocks to “summer time”. The days get longer, and we can start to think of approaching summer. I see this as a time of hope, a time for new experiences and goals. Just as the flowers bloom, so can we!
Let’s keep hoping for the release of our hostages, may they be home asap, and continue to focus on what is meaningful in our lives.

25/02/2024

It's been a while since I updated my page here, so I took the opportunity to update the cover photos as well. The day I took the photo of the stream was cold and "brisk", but we enjoyed that short walk in nature, seeing the bare winter trees and watching the stream flow.
It reminded me of the ACT metaphor of leaves on the river. Our thoughts and feelings continually change, sometimes quickly, sometimes very slowly, sometimes they appear to be stuck, but eventually they pass. We can imagine a leaf floating on the river and imagine placing a particular thought or feeling on that leaf, and watch it as it flows by...it may pass by slowly, it may turn around a few times, but eventually it passes. Try it and see!

26/11/2023

Mixed feelings, even opposing feelings can occur together in our hearts. I think this weekend is proof of that. The genuine relief and joy at seeing the return of our hostages, women and children reunited with their families. I personally am acquainted with one of the families and was delighted to see that one member of their family came home safe and sound. However, there are so many others who still need to come home, and there we feel the opposing feelings - the worry, anger and pain. Even in the family that I know, (and in many others) there is still another family member in captivity.
So how do we cope with opposing feelings? I think the key is in recognizing that they are there, giving space to them, not trying to deny them, but allowing ourselves to experience them, and with that validity, to hold on to the positive emotions which will give us the strength to deal with the more difficult ones.
Regarding the current situation, the release of some hostages gives us hope that the others are alive, well and will also be released soon. We have to keep our hopes up and continue all our efforts on all the different battlefields and for this to happen.
So, opposing feelings, all at once? Definitely something we're experiencing right now.

09/11/2023

07/11/2023

Right now, we all need some tips on how to cope with stress...Here are a few tips that I have collected recently.

Get as much sleep as possible. Try to avoid screens for at least an hour before trying to sleep. A good sleep routine means that once you're in bed, no screens are around you! If you can't fall asleep immediately, imagine you are watching a documentary of the day you just had. Watch each scene from the moment you woke up...

Relax your body - this can be done by tensing and then releasing different muscle groups, one after the other. The technique is called "jacobson" and can be found online.

Breathe! Pay attention to your breathing. Breathing in and out slowly and deeply can have an amazing effect! Try the 7:11 technique - breathe in for 7 seconds through your nose, and out for 11 through your mouth (as if you're saying ooh!). Do this a few times until you feel more relaxed.

Share! Talk to your loved ones about how you're feeling. Just talking about it to a trusting friend or relative can provide all the relief you need.

If it's all too overwhelming, seek help. Even a few sessions with a professional may help to ease your suffering.

Hoping for easier times ahead and a complete victory for our people - עם ישראל חי!

14/09/2023

Feeling slightly lost and unsure of your next step? I find that working with young adults after school age, there are often circumstances which create difficulty in finding the right direction for them. By talking over the issues, and looking at things from different perspectives, we can look beyond the obstacles, and find the strength to take the right path together.

As we sail into the New Year, I'd like to wish all my clients, old, new and future...a happy and healthy New Year, one in which we will each continue to go in the right direction for us, with clarity of thought and conviction, in good health and serenity.

Shana Tova!