15/01/2020
Nurturing Empathy
Continuing the theme of empathy and how to nurture in older kids (5-6 years).
5 TO 6: SHOWING COMPASSION
by Ellen Booth Church
On the playground, a few children gather around the teacher to talk about a friend who seems to be out of sorts. "Maybe Sophie is feeling sad because her mom had to go to the hospital," declares six-year-old Tyrone, demonstrating a mature level of awareness for a classmate's feelings. Five-year-old Regina suggests: "I missed my dad when he went away on a trip." Another small voice adds: "She could be scared too. It's scary when someone goes away." The teacher Mr. Levine, asks: "What can we do to help? What would make you feel better if you were Sophie?"
Empathy — the ability to identify with and understand another person's feelings, situation, or motives — has its roots in discussions like this, which take place between a small group of buddingly aware children and a sensitive teacher. Mr. Levine is conscious of all the emotions involved in the conversation and careful not to try to "fix" the situation by telling the children what to do. He's also careful not to discount their feelings by suggesting that Sophie will feel better soon. By acknowledging children's feelings and emotions, he is demonstrating empathy without passing judgment. His message is clear: Emotions are welcome in this class and can be expressed and discussed freely.
Discussing Feelings
Empathy develops from self awareness. As five- and six-year-olds become more aware of their own emotions, they begin to recognize them in others, and their emotional vocabulary expands. With this increased language facility, the doors open to in-depth discussions about emotions that are the main avenue for developing empathy skills. These discussions can come from a classroom situation, a current event, a shared reading of a book, a photograph, even a TV program that elicits an emotional response.
Interestingly, children at this stage really want to talk about how they feel. And by taking time to discuss the emotions of a book character; for example, or the feelings of a friend after a fight, you provide children with the raw materials for developing compassionate understandings and actions.
Reading Cues
Empathy requires the nonverbal skill of observation. Five- and six-year-olds are learning how to "read" others' feelings through their actions, gestures, and facial expressions, as well as understand their expressed words. Have you ever noticed how children watch your face as you talk to them? They seem to be scanning you for a hint to the feelings behind your words. This is a key empathy skill. The valuable adult skill of being able to "feel someone out" begins at this stage of development.
The ability to read nonverbal cues is also essential to the development of the social skills needed for group interaction. At circle time, the children are in a particularly rambunctious mood, giggling and wiggling as the teacher smiles and moves with them. Noticing the time, the teacher shifts her movements to prepare for a story, and her facial expression becomes quieted more focused, and serious. Like silent magic, some children detect her shift and settle down. Other attuned children, noticing the change in the group's energy, join in, while a few others remain unaware and continue wiggling.
People who know how to watch, listen, and observe the actions and emotions of those around them are often the most successful in life. A conscious alignment of self with others starts with the development of empathy in the early years. If you can demonstrate empathy, your children will be in the presence of their finest teacher.
What You Can Do
Be empathic. Avoid the simple "quick-fix" by solving children's problems or by giving them the comforting "everything will be all right" answer to their feelings. Instead, be a good role model by reflecting what they are feeling.
Use expressive photographs, drawings, and wordless books to provide practice in "reading" the nonverbal expressions and emotions of others. Remember that there is no right or wrong answer in these activities. Allow children the safety of expressing what they are feeling and imagining without criticism.
Express your feelings openly. If you are having a hard day, tell the group. Not only might their reactions amaze you, your ability to verbalize a range of emotions will help children recognize and respond to the emotions of others.
Courtesy: www.scholastic.com
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Hope these posts have helped and given you a guide on what to do as well.
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