Violet Hues Healing Centre

31/10/2020

The feel is for real... (~an excerpt from my new book, Hearticulations. Available on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/Hearticulations-Friendship-Healing-Jeff-Brown/dp/198864805X/)

23/08/2020

06/08/2020

~COURAGE AND BRAVERY~

Sometimes we need to be courageous and brave, where we can just push aside all our limiting beliefs, all our fears & worries, and jump in.
Sometimes we need to be the person who can put on that "Armour of Toughness", get resistant to criticism, to humiliation and to failure.
Just pulling ourselves together and moving forward with grit.
Making new choices, even when it is hard. Sculpting the life that we want for ourselves.

AND THEN...

Sometimes, we need to be courageous and brave, where we can give up our relentless pursuit, give up our chase, give up fighting.
Sometimes we need to be the person who can take off that "Armour of Toughness" and listen to the voice within, listen to what it wants us to do.
Surrendering to Life and realising that we are very small in comparison to Life. It is futile to fight.
Sometimes it is courageous to get vulnerable and get human - feeling our pain and our grief, our sorrows and our disappointments.
Reminding ourselves that perhaps we can never really "sculpt" our lives...we can only recognise that it has already been sculpted in a certain way.
Sometimes we just need to align with what is happening - within and without.

27/07/2020

Divorce is not a problem. It is very often a solution.

IMPORTANT

07/07/2020

"I'VE NEVER TOLD ANYONE ABOUT THIS BEFORE..."

I hear this line often when people come to speak to me in the therapy room. And I hear them say those words with a lot of trepidation, and nervousness.

Over the years, I have come to realise that there is a lot hidden in this one statement - "I've never told anyone about this before...".
It is primarily a request for confidentiality, because it has been a secret for so long.
It is also a plea for compassion & empathy because they are uncomfortable about the subject.
It is an indicator that they are about to do something very courageous and they perhaps need some cheering too.
It is a warning sometimes, that they are about to say something that might make me (the listener) feel awkward.
It is most importantly an invitation to share a moment in time with them, in an intimate and heartfelt moment.

What usually unfolds is one of the most vulnerable things that a human can ever do - to bare a portion of their soul that they have hidden away for so long!
And by virtue of us being humans, in that moment of sharing, they too get a glimpse into my soul. It opens hearts at both ends. It often brings tears to both of us. And it always helps both of us connect to something deeper. I believe, very few other human acts can match this degree of sacredness.

They share. I listen. It is a magical moment. Always.
In that one moment, I know that something has changed between the two of us forever.

And then I wonder, why haven't they had the opportunity to share this magical experience with others?
I often see that there is a lot of shame that the person feels surrounding the subject.
But then, why do we live in a structure that generates so much shame and fear in individuals, that they cannot talk about such important aspects of their lives with ANYONE?
Why have we created a structure where being vulnerable needs to be an act of courage?

Shouldn't everyone have the privilege of being able to share their intimate truth with more ease and with less fear?
Wouldn't it create more connections and bonds when we can all find (at least) a precious few with whom we can bare our souls?

I dream of a world where a therapist doesn't have to be the first one to listen to such deep parts of someone's soul.
I would love to hear more people tell me, "I have talked about this to my dear ones before...and I wish to share this with you too..."

That would be a very different world...a less lonely and isolated world.

Here's something I like to often ask myself :
1. What are things that I have never told anyone about? Why am I holding it all in? Who are the safe people in my life that I can start sharing my truth with?

2. How can I be a safe presence, where people feel secure enough to bare the deepest parts of their soul?

27/06/2020

Modern day Ghost stories...

There could be a thousand different reasons why he severed the connection, but it ultimately doesn’t matter. What matters is the result, and the result is he chose not to be in communication with y…

29/05/2020

Years ago, the anthropologist Margaret Mead was asked by a student what she considered to be the first sign of civilization. The student expected Mead to talk about clay pots, tools for hunting, grinding-stones, or religious artifacts.

But no. Mead said that the first evidence of civilization was a 15,000 years old fractured femur found in an archaeological site. A femur is the longest bone in the body, linking hip to knee. In societies without the benefits of modern medicine, it takes about six weeks of rest for a fractured femur to heal. This particular bone had been broken and had healed.
Mead explained that in the animal kingdom, if you break your leg, you die. You cannot run from danger, you cannot drink or hunt for food. Wounded in this way, you are meat for your predators. No creature survives a broken leg long enough for the bone to heal. You are eaten first.
A broken femur that has healed is evidence that another person has taken time to stay with the fallen, has bound up the wound, has carried the person to safety and has tended them through recovery. A healed femur indicates that someone has helped a fellow human, rather than abandoning them to save their own life.

“Helping someone else through difficulty is where civilization starts,” Margaret Mead said.

Today, the ones with the "broken femur" are the marginalised and the minorities.
Black people. Migrant Workers. Q***r People. Economically underprivileged. Religious Minorities. Women. many more...

Being an Ally is a lifelong process, in which people with power, privilege and in majority work to develop empathy towards another marginalized group's challenges or issues. The goal of allyship is to create an environment where the marginalised feel safe, supported, valued and heard....where those walking about with a "broken femur" for a long long time can be tended back to life.

Margaret Mead believed that it is always a small group of allies that has carried the weight of civilization forward.

Well, so be it!