06/04/2026
A lot of parents see the “Hey Jessica” tantrum videos and feel unsure. Is this helpful, or is it dismissing a child’s feelings?
The nuance is in what comes next.
When a child is fully escalated, they are often not able to take in reasoning, teaching, or even comfort in the usual way. Sometimes a playful or gentle interruption is not about shutting the feeling down. It is about helping them pause just enough to come out of the spiral.
That pause, in itself, is not dismissive.
What can feel dismissive is when the child is left there alone with the message:
your feelings are too much, so I need to make them disappear.
Very different from:
I helped you come out of the overwhelm, I stayed calm, and I came back to you with connection.
We do not always have to move through tantrums in the exact same way to be emotionally responsive parents. Sometimes the first step is not talking through every feeling. Sometimes the first step is helping the nervous system soften enough so connection can actually reach the child.
Proper tantrum handling is not just about stopping the moment. It is about how we hold it:
stay calm, help interrupt the spiral if needed, offer safety, come back with connection, and then guide or hold the boundary.
A strategy is not only about what you do. It is also about how you do it, and what the child learns from what comes next.
Pic and videos:
Slide 2: .stevens10
Slide 3:
Slide 4:
Slide 5: .ootss