24/05/2022
Spot on advice.
Living with any mental illness is made harder by the shame and stigma our society imposes on us. Read from one such person. Diagnosed and living with BIPOLAR DISORDER.
1. Take your meds. If you hate them continue to take them. If they aren’t working tell your doc. Once they work even if you hate them take them and tell your doc about the side effects. If he doesn’t adjust or switch then switch your doc.
2. Get into therapy. This is lifelong. Keep up with self-work on yourself. Although therapy doesn’t provide immediate results it does provide some amazing results but this is up to you not just showing up but self-exploration and introspection. Don’t be afraid to be a little critical of yourself but not too critical. It is a balance of how critical you need to be while looking within.
3. Self-care. You define what this is. Find out what your hobbies are. Have several not just 1 or 2. Do them. Make sure you have a daily activity you like to do normally. This can be walking in the neighbourhood, reading, spending time in nature and do it EVERY DAY. Rain or shine and especially when you don’t feel like doing it. I can’t stress that last part enough. This keeps you grounded in who you are and helps you stay connected with yourself and the real world. My wife has BP1 as well and teaches yoga. When she doesn’t it affects her and everyone around her. Diet and exercise are a big part of this. Try hard not to get overweight. Get into a healthy BMI and try to stay there, bipolar is known for making us susceptible to a slew of other diseases so take care of your body.
4. Create “to-do” lists to stay organised. Make them in pencil or on a dry erase board so you can put them in the order of how they need to be done.
Try to work. If you can’t work then volunteer. Don’t sit at home being miserable. You are able to do something. (now the speech that I give my daughter who was recently diagnosed) I work and do best with jobs that have projects with defined start and finish dates as opposed to working in a continuous process or something that I just show up and “make the donuts” (a reference to an old Dunkin commercial, If you are young you won’t get it). Now while you are working, work ahead and bank your work. Why I do this is because I may be fine today, I may be a little hypomanic then there are days where my brain just doesn’t function or I am low motivation. This means I still have my work done. You bank it and don't turn it in because if you turn projects in early then you will find yourself in a situation that seems abusive one day. If you turn stuff in early your supervisor might think you are a superstar that can handle more work and dump more on you, you don’t want this. I’m not going to sugarcoat this but you will have to work harder than everyone else does whether you are just in school, volunteer or working full-time, you will have to work harder than everyone else.
5. Force yourself to be around people. I hate crowds and social gatherings. I have become very withdrawn because of this disorder when I used to be an extrovert. Being around people and talking to them drains me. I slowly became very introverted starting in my late 20s and nearly became a hermit in my late 30s. I try to walk my dog in a busy small town downtown area not only for his exercise and stimulation but because people come up and talk to me. I don’t like it, I certainly don’t want the attention but it keeps me from getting “weird” and saying or doing inappropriate things at work. If you don’t do this you will inadvertently draw more unwanted attention to yourself.
6. Realise things aren’t black and white. Even when you are sick it isn’t always 100% your fault. When you are well it isn’t 100% everyone else’s fault. Black and white thinking is a characteristic of personality disorders but due to our disorders, we can develop adaptations to cope (see my OC mention above), that can certainly look like PDs. The good thing is if it is an adaptation in adulthood, you can overcome this. something to work on in therapy. If you can see it and it is unhelpful discard that behaviour and thinking.
7. Behave with your money when you are well. Live below your means and keep a buffer for a rainy day. Again an area that you have to work harder than everyone else. If a financial advisor says you need 2,000o Rs in savings for emergencies and you have bipolar then make your target Rs 40,000. If the bank says you can afford to finance a Rs 20,00,000 house on a 30-year mortgage and finance Rs 10,00,000 for a 15-year mortgage then save up Rs 40,000 and get an Rs80,000 15-year mortgage. Don’t keep credit cards on you and don’t save them in your web browser. People will not hesitate to take advantage of you and take your money when you are unwell. It is YOUR money be good with it.
7. Quit smoking. I know this goes along with self-care but I put it last because this was the toughest thing I ever had to do. I know I am also making a general assumption that you are a heavy smoker. I have met many people diagnosed with bipolar in my life. Most were heavy smokers. Of those that were nonsmokers all but 2 were former smokers. Make sure you are stable first and have everything else in check. It is very important to quit smoking for your health and it is certainly possible but you won’t get help from your psychiatrist (their job is to get you stable and keep you that way) and it could destabilize you and trigger psychosis or mania that is why it is important to be stable and have all other affairs in order. A few months after quitting you will feel better and be able to continue to take care of your body in ways you never realised. If this doesn’t apply to you and you never smoked DON’T START, it is one of the worst things you can do for your health. Check with your general practitioner for help with quitting smoking and be sure to tell your psychiatrist your plans. Your GP will be delighted to help you and your psychiatrist might want to see you more often during the first few months of quitting.
You don't have to be perfect and walking the thin line above is going to be hard and frustrating. It will also be rewarding.
