22/09/2020
My Body My Choice 🌸
“I was a chubby kid during my childhood and while growing up, my weight also grew. I was not really chubby now, but fat, as my height was also small. Though I was never made fun of in school, I had amazing friends, but a lot of name calling and comments came from my family and relatives itself. Not that they forced me to lose weight or go on a diet, or loved me less, but the jokes that they used to crack and still do, settled deep down within me. They thought they were just cracking some lite hearted jokes, not knowing it affected me so deeply to the core. But I was still in-front of them, laughing it off as if it didn't bother me.
I have always tried to be very body positive, full of personality, but in the effort of hiding my weight which seemed to me as a problem before, I have tried putting extra efforts on my dressing and how I carry myself, how I am as a person, mostly to look attractive and to be liked by all. Not that it doesn’t matter, it does, people find me cute, like the way I dress, boys want to hang out with and have casual things (you know) but not wanna date. Why? I have less ideas. And if I care? Yes , I do, but not by giving up my-SELF. All these issues around my body, had majorly impacted my self esteem, self confidence, self worth for a long time.
I have worked on my body at times, even lost good kgs at certain points of time, and gained again lol. But after all those years finally, what I understand now is that I don’t wish to get slim or lose some 15-20 kgs, but I just want to get fit. Be healthy. And f*** all, I love my curves. I wear what I love, I wear what makes me comfortable, I don’t diet to death, and I love myself. I wear my self esteem high, and I am worth it all. Not that those names, comments have stopped, or something around how people approach, and not that it doesn’t feel bad, it hurts bad, but it just comes and goes. I only understand now is - Your weight does not define your worth. Your body is a part of who you are, but it isn’t everything.
~ By : Winnie The Pooh
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