22/09/2015
Life and death are both gifts.
The love of my life has left this earth. She was surrounded by loved ones . She was Narayani emanating supreme peace and beauty . For the entire afternoon yesterday until around 8.20pm when she left us (which was during Amma's puja time in India ) loved ones came and chanted Om Namo Narayani for hours around her reclining chair (bed for past week because it was too painful for her to lie down ) . We chanted along to Amma's recorded voice chanting Om Namo Narayani .
We chanted continuously for hours did arthi on jo , sprinkled theertam on her and intermittently played her Amma's phone conversation with her from the night before which said "Amma is with you Jo, just keep chanting Om Namo Narayani it is the Way, the path , it is the solution" and towards the end of this chapter and the great new beginning we also read her a few verses about the soul being eternal from bhagavat gita . She was so still and peaceful for hours unlike the days of pain prior. but then I sensed her getting restless, she got agitated and clapped her hands and I knew she wanted to be in privacy to leave this world . Everyone moved to the lounge room to keep chanting . I was alone with her. I made her comfortable and gave her, her medication and a little bit of Amma's Theertam - holy water. I kissed her and told her I loved her and that she was free to stay or free to leave to be with Amma. I left the room to tell a couple of friends who just arrived to go quietly in and once I was out the room I was shortly called back in . I missed her last big breath but caught her last gasps . I already sensed she wouldn't do it in front of me. Sad as I was to have missed even those few moments with her. But she was holding her mother's hand. Who better than the one who brought her into the world ! I have spent nearly every day of my life with her since we met and so many beautiful days and nights in the lives previous to this. We chanted Om Namo Narayani as we checked her pulse etc but she was gone . Eyes gazing upwArds , Atma floating up to Amma.
Her mother and I washed her and annointed her in oil and dressed her in new clothes . She was lying on big Narayani's sari with mangala Narayani saraswati sari in her hands . friends came in and offered flowers and arthi as we sang along to her most precious Om Namo Narayani song.
She could do anything sing, pick up any instrument, write poetry, draw, produce music manage charities, and light up the world with her smile - my heart is broken but beneath the break we are one now . Jo is gone. VAANI remains. It was a perfect life and a perfect death. She is moksha bound ... Om Namo Narayani
I found this note she wrote on Sept 8 one of her last diary entries before the pain and weakness got too much...
Jo wrote:
I asked Amma "how can the whole universe be within me? Please show me". Amma took me on an astral travel moving from "me" to the city, to the country, world, universes, galaxies, where so many planets exist. We kept flying through space. "But Amma, how does this all exist within me?" I ask Her. Just then , the travel continues through the galaxies and then ends in my heart. "see Jo, there's no separation , Jo is there " pointing to the origin where I am the size of a mustard seed. "and Jo is here too" - with the entire universe within me. She took me for a good ride that night...
My beloved Jo showed me that the divine wants all her children of the world to love and respect each other , to heal past grievances . To dissolve wrongful Karmas . To support each other through thick and thin , to put aside differences and live in kindness and harmony .
Please don't wait till it's too late to cherish the living Gods inside and beside you -
Today is the day
rise and unite in love!
Don't just worship Amma (divine)
Be Amma (divine)
That is what Jo became
With Love and gratitude eternally
Edo VAANI A SOUND LIFE
This was the last time she chanted in India on our recent trip - despite the pain she kept on singing and smiling : Jai VAANI Ma
