19/08/2024
What do you see in this picture, of course it's me but other than that???
I will tell you what I see:
It took a lot for me to post my own pic where I can be seen. Haven't posted anything in a while where I am in the pic. Have been at my lowest, weakest, heaviest (had put on a lot of weight) for sometime now. Been fighting my own demons, some are real, some are the fears, experiences, worries, people, situations, the cycle/loop uncertainty, self created scenarios and what not.
Didn't feel confident at all. Didn't like what I could see in the mirror as I could see both my mental and physical state staring right back at me. To make it worse, when I would meet people who I knew before I had put on those extra kilos,they were you quick to point out the obvious and would have nothing more to say or ask. Me, being a yoga teacher just added to the things that I was/am going through. Since, a yoga teacher is expected to get their s**t together at all times, right? Wrong...
Have lost good people and my best of friends because things were not that simple and more importantly I didn't have the energy in me to explain or to make anyone understand or maybe it was meant to happen.
There are days where I can manage to pull through and there are days where it just gets difficult to even get through the basic daily routine. It has affected my life in ways I can't explain. Have definitely affected my work, where I could have done lots more.
But it's never too late as they say. So, here I am, accepting who I am, where I am and it starts with this picture of mine. Didn't plan on doing this, it just felt like this is the right moment. It's nothing big or great but something which I need to do. So, just going with the flow.
Just finding love, light, strength and faith one day at a time 🙏 🙂 😊💖
