16/09/2020
A significant lesson I learnt from my experience is that no matter what happens, never base important decisions of your life by depending on anyone. Think of yourself as a complete independent entity when taking decisions. Dependency is regressive- it makes you weak and leads you to disappointment.
"People may or may not remain with you, but your actions (which may be motivated by someone else) and their consequences remain with you forever..."
At some point of time in life we may choose to be in a career/stream because one of our best friends chose the same. This can be counterproductive and lead to failure in the long run. At times, we take certain lifestyle decisions which are convenient for us in a relationship or as a partner we feel we should take decisions that are mutually agreed on. Unless you have the ability to carry on and take complete ownership of the outcomes of your decisions as a separate entity from your partner, never take them without giving a deep thought.
This kind of deep thinking is important because many a times we are living the consequences of someone else’s influence on us. For instance, I have seen women compromising on their lifestyle or career choices because they wanted to be available for their partner/family; however their spouse left them after few years of marriage. In this case the woman has to go through the pain of separation as well as create a new path for herself because she as dependent on someone else and did not imagine a scenario that a person may not remain with them forever. Another instance is where a young man wanted to go into the army and got placed in the most prestigious institution but did not pursue his dream because his mother was scared of losing him. The mother dies after three years owing to a heart disease and the man is now living a mediocre unsatisfying life in a private job.
The point I’m trying to make here is that take ownership of your actions at every stage of life. It does not mean that you forget taking into consideration other people’s opinions but do not let them influence you into believing that they are going to stick around when you falter. No! They won’t. Also imagine that you will be the only one who will live with those choices you are making.
I agree that it is easier said than done. We all want approval, we all want validation and therefore we try and include our significant other’s in our decision making process; however, taking an opinion is different from depending on others for the success of those choices. Whatever you do, do it for your own reasons!
