Tender Love & Care Clinic

29/05/2024

28th May is celebrated globally as World Menstrual Hygiene Day .

In a novel attempt to create awareness and spread accurate scientific knowledge , various mediums are used by the highly motivated medical community in our country .

One such attempt by Dr Ashwini Nabar , practicing Obstetrician and Gynecologist has rightfully earned a first prize in a competition highlighting ‘ Menstruation is normal ‘ in any art form .

It’s a matter concerning all our daughters and mothers and so am sharing here with her permission .

ITS NORMAL

A sweet young girl, all of twelve
Was playing joyfully with her friends
Running along the river
Along turns and bends

Suddenly she felt
Some weird cramping and pain
A trickle from down below
Left on her skirt a stain.

Frightened and scared, she ran home
Through the village lane
She just wanted to hug her mom tight
And to feel okay again.

She didn't know much about periods
Just that women were treated differently those days
Her grandmother had strict rules
And her set old- fashioned ways.

But unfortunately, that's who she bumped into
Who noticed and didn't need to ask more
"Stay out , you're impure ! ,"She yelled
"Don't you dare enter the door!"

"Your meals will be sent outside
You will have a separate plate
Don't touch anything
Don't step out of the gate "

"Periods are sinful"
The old woman rambled on and on
"Don't show me your face
Until they're done and gone!"

The little girl trembled and stood still
Tears rolling down her face
But her mother, who had heard everything rushed to her,
Held her in a warm embrace

The old grandmom was furious
But saw the steely resolve in the mother's eyes
"Pls don't talk further", she said
"Don't feed my darling daughter these lies!"

"These superstitions and myths
Have dictated our lives too many years
It's high time we see logic and sense
And shake off these irrational fears "

"You're healthy and normal, she told the little girl
The period is a sign
That you're growing up now
And are absolutely fine!"

"So come into the house
And wipe away your tear
MENSTRUATION IS NORMAL
It's all ok, my dear!"

22/07/2023

Recently came across an article related to a session Titled ‘State of Mind: How to make studies stress free’.
The discussion opened with a candid conversation with a teenage studying in Mumbai . After hearing her worries and lack of confidence in herself , it becomes imperative to equip ourselves with some tips and better understanding to empower kids to cope with stress.

The teenager didn’t wish for her parents or teachers to help her because they tended to do so from their perspective. What she wanted was support from them, while keeping her priorities at the centre of the solution.
She notes that what remained fundamental for mental health intervention for children and teens was trust. They shouldn’t be afraid of opening up and what determined this was the first reaction they received from adults when they did that.

Here’s what parents need to know about managing the mental health of their children:

1. NEED FOR HEALTHY COMMUNICATION
Youngsters often complain about the disconnect they feel with their parents because of which they don’t like to communicate. They feel most conversations are placed around their studies, exams and career plans.
Tip for parent -
Spend time with children being non judgemental .
This involves having a conversation without devices and one that doesn’t involve studies or careers.

2. BUILDING EMPATHY AND TRUST
Observation-
We come across teenagers often suffering from a lack of self-esteem.
1. There’s a constant sense of ‘I am not measuring up,”
2. There is a sense of a loss of agency since they are constantly being told what to do.
3. They are very disconnected from themselves despite being connected through gadgets.
Tip for parent -
Parents need to come from a place of compassionate curiosity to really get to know their child.
Parents can ‘ask’ and not ‘tell’ their children to do things.
Give them choices and agency.

Use the You-Me-We’ strategy when communicating: “I listen to you even though I may not agree; I explain my point of view; and we find out how we can manage this together,”

Teenagers are not used to listening to good things about themselves. So, parents can acknowledge the efforts they are making instead of the result.

3. NEED TO INCULCATE THE RIGHT VALUES

Parents should not to be guilt-ridden all the time as we are all living in challenging times.
Tip :
Parents should form a bond with their children from Day 1 and truly understand their capacities, skills and interests before suggesting anything.

There is a heightened expression of emotion these days. The ability to tolerate stress has gone done. So, their reactions are much more severe
There is a lack of purpose and there’s an existential crisis wherein no matter how much is being done, there is a lack of gratitude.

Tip :
children need to be inculcated with a sense of moral ethics and gratitude – a value system wherein the ‘me’ is not just restricted to an immediate gratification but also includes a sense of purpose to one’s family and society at large.

4. IMPORTANCE OF THERAPY
Therapy or counselling must be sought to better the mental health of children when needed.

Tip : Raining awareness in parents that’s not every assessment would lead to medications and there are guidelines available as well.
Also, anti-depressants are not steroids and won’t make you dependent.

5. SELF-CARE FOR CAREGIVERS- Managing children’s mental health would become a lot easier if the caregivers take care of themselves through daily self-care practice. Parents often have a lot on their minds and if they don’t unburden themselves, they simply won’t have the energy to interact with teenagers with all their sense active.

08/06/2023

It’s rightly said , ‘ A book is a gift that you get to open again and again .’
Gifting young children the love and resources of reading goes a long way in creating a lifelong good habit and a lifelong friend .
One such gift was sent to me by young budding Ms Nandini Singhania who at the tender age of 12 years has penned 10 short stories in a wonderful , exciting and original narration in this treasure trove . Do have a look at it . It’s available both as hard copy and e book .

Here is the link , if interested :

Hi! I'm excited to share my newly launched book, titled A Treasure Trove of Short Stories. Get your copy here and let me know what you think. https://notionpress.com/read/a-treasure-trove-of-short-stories #.ZGxOrJlXhX8.whatsapp
You can use exclusive coupon code BookLovers for a 20% discount
Or , it’s also available on kindle at https://p-nt-www-amazon-in-kalias.amazon.in/dp/B0C61SFZ1S?ref_=cm_sw_r_mwn_dp_QWYZTPRW7AT3JSKKMEMP
Do read !!!
Regards
Nandini Singhania

16/05/2023

Wondering what is the right age to gift your child a smartphone ?
With the large plethora of readily available gadgets at home which our children are already exposed to , does it make any sense to postpone giving them a phone ?
Common sense and logic has always told us ‘ don’t give the phone when kids are very young ‘ . Now it is also backed by scientific studies which prove that it’s detrimental to give smartphone ownership to children earlier than later .
It had been studied that earlier the age when child owns a smartphone , higher are the chances of mental health issues as an adult .
So ,please don’t gift phones . Postpone it till you can .
Read the article to know more on the same .

A new global study by Sapien Labs has found that delaying smartphone ownership could result in better mental health among children and young people. The study shows that earlier age of smartphone ownership among current 18-24-year-olds is associated with much poorer mental health outcomes, with wome...

16/05/2023

Wondering what age to give your child a smartphone ?
There is no age immune to the temptation of a phone and with so many freely available gadget at home , does it make sense to restrict the access to smartphone in growing children ?
The answer is YES , it does help to delay the age when you buy a smartphone for your child .
Common sense and logic always guided this debate , but now there is science and scientific studies which prove that the earlier a child has ownership of smartphone , greater are the chances of mental health issues that they might experience as adults .
Please read the following article to know more .
And keep fighting that battle and pushing the envelope when it comes to buying the first phone for your child .
Don’t gift them now , what is a source of ill health tomorrow .

Age at which children first own a smartphone impacts their mental health as adults: Study
https://www.hindustantimes.com/india-news/delaying-smartphone-ownership-may-improve-mental-health-among-children-and-young-people-according-to-a-global-study-by-sapien-labs-the-study-found-that-an-earlier-age-of-smartphone-ownership-was-associated-with-poorer-mental-health-with-women-being-more-affected-the-percentage-of-women-experiencing-mental-health-challenges-decreased-from-74-to-46-as-the-age-of-first-ownership-increased-from-6-to-18-years-the-study-highlights-the-impact-of-social-media-particularly-on-young-people-and-the-need-for-guardrails-the-findings-have-significant-implications-for-parents-employers-and-policymakers-particularly-in-india-101684176307258.html

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05/05/2023

As parents of babies and toddlers we always come across multiple queries during their dynamic and fast evolving development , both physically and mentally .
When our child first starts to pick objects , uses their hands to feed themselves and to write , the question often arises whether we should be deliberately guiding them to use the right hand .
Dr Nirja Trivedi , a practicing Pediatric Physiotherapist addresses this and many other such issues in her Thursdayshort videos . I find them very informative , succinct but scientific and is like a quick byte of knowledge delivered just right .
I have her permission to share this video here . You can follow her if you would like to see more videos.
Following is the link to her website too .

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100084916521132&mibextid=ZbWKwL