04/11/2021
Today is Kali pujo. It took me my whole life to realize my connection and relationship to her. It was very recently that I understood I carry both Kali and Shiva, not only in my name, my being but also my energy. Do you know my name wasn't given by my parents but by the doctor who performed the C section?
She is fierce, she is loving, she liberates and she destroys everything that doesn't serve us. The first time I started connecting to her in meditation I felt that I've come home to my mother. She has been my mother, she has been my guide. In my visual meditations I've surrendered to her, I've felt that she has held me. When darkness came, her form of Dhumavati came and told me, she is hurting as I am. She has not left me ever. She has also been asking me to paint her for a while, I will get to it Maa. She is the darkness she is the cosmic womb of the universe. Sometimes we just need our mother don't we?
She's been there always.
She has not let me give up when I felt like, when I felt I did not have resources, Kaladhara always reminded me to trust. It's in her devotion I have understood fierceness, devouring negativity and unconditional trust.
Maa the first time I talked to you, I looked at your beauty and couldn't fathom how I could be your essence? I looked at her jewels, her throne and her robe - she lovingly came and started adorning me in meditation. She made me realize my power.
Here is a picture from my favorite oracle, Kali oracle by Alana Fairchild.
She is my biggest support system ❤
