28/05/2025
When Silence Hurts Louder Than Words: Reframing Consent and Confronting Marital R**e
By Dr.Haritha K.N
In homes painted with the illusion of love, too many women suffer in silence. The violence they experience is not always visible. There are no broken bones. No bruises to photograph. Only broken boundaries and unspoken trauma. This is the world of silent violence—a realm where marital r**e and non-consensual intimacy are often dismissed as “marital duties.”
Let’s be clear: Consent is not a one-time contract. Marriage is not a lifetime waiver.
Consent is active, dynamic, and revocable—regardless of the relationship. Yet, in many cultures and legal systems, marital r**e is not even recognized as a crime. It is cloaked in patriarchy, normalized by tradition, and too often overlooked by law.
As a psychologist, I have seen how these invisible wounds manifest: anxiety that creeps in with every nightfall, depression that quietly saps a woman’s will to live, PTSD symptoms triggered by the voice of the very man she once trusted. Silent violence corrodes self-worth and identity in ways society still refuses to see.
What is Silent Violence?
Silent violence is the coercion that happens behind closed doors—when a woman feels obliged to submit, not because she wants to, but because she’s afraid to say no. It is the societal conditioning that teaches women to equate endurance with love and suffering with virtue. It is the internalized belief that her body is not hers to protect.
Marital R**e is Not a Grey Area.
Let’s debunk a dangerous myth: that once married, consent becomes implicit. This belief has allowed countless acts of marital r**e to go unacknowledged, unreported, and untreated. It invalidates the pain of women whose “no” was ignored simply because a wedding band was on their finger.
In my work, I’ve met women who didn’t even have the language to name what was happening to them. They weren’t aware that it was r**e—because no one had ever told them it could be. This lack of awareness is a tragedy. And it’s one we must urgently change.
Why Aren’t We Talking About This?
Because it’s uncomfortable. Because it challenges cultural norms. Because it forces us to admit that even in our own homes, behind respected family names and polished appearances, abuse can thrive.
But silence protects the abuser. Conversation, however uncomfortable, is the first act of resistance.
What Can We Do?
Educate: Teach consent as an ongoing dialogue, not a one-time checkmark.
Legislate: Advocate for laws that recognize marital r**e as a criminal offense, without exceptions.
Listen: Believe women when they speak, even if what they say shakes our belief systems.
Support: Create safe, non-judgmental spaces for survivors to heal—emotionally, legally, and physically.
To every woman reading this who has felt violated, unheard, or trapped in silence: your pain is valid. Your story matters. You are not alone.
And to everyone else—let’s stop asking “Why didn’t she leave?” and start asking, “Why was she put in a position where staying seemed safer than leaving?”
Consent is not optional. Silence is not consent. Marriage is not immunity.
Until these truths are universally acknowledged, we are all complicit in a culture that tolerates silent violence.
**eAwareness
