03/03/2024
Today I discovered something from my past while doing some spring cleaning.
Frayed, faded and old ghungroos - a relic from my past,
When dancing was a huge part of my life and soul. I trained in classical Odissi dance, every moment was a moment for dance and movement.
And then fibromyalgia happened. Intense debilitating pain in every muscle of the body at age 13.
Suddenly all my dreams came crashing down. With every passing day, I realised whatever I had planned for my life and career will probably never happen.
The pain of dreams crashing is more than that of broken hearts.
But you know what they say - “Man proposes, God disposes” because he has better plans for you.
Or as Harivanshrai Bachchan puts it - “mann ka ho to acha, aur nahi ho to aur bhi acha, kyunki phir wo bhagwan ki marzi ka hota hai”
For 7 years, I asked God “Why me?”
I grew tired of that question when no answers came,
I gave up that question.
But never the faith somehow
In silence, a new question emerged, “What now?”
That’s when the Universe opened doors for healing for me.
All I had to do was surrender and ask “What now“ and another door opened, another answer came in.
It’s like I was being shown one step at a time.
As healing happened, it connected me to my past lives and the connection to divine and my gifts deepened
I began to walk the path of healing lifetimes of pain
And discovered so many people were suffering with this pain and unable to find the right answers. (In fact, they found more fear based answers in terms of healers, astrologers, tarot readers, psychologists and babas)
That’s when I decided, maybe I could help them find solutions just the way I did. Maybe I could be a lamp post in their journey of healing.
This was in 2009. Since then, every time someone comes to me for healing, tarot or EFT, for a personal session or for a training, my intention has been to equip that being with the connection to their higher selves, so they can find their path, their answers, so they can be empowered.
I think that’s the answer to my question I asked every day back then - “Why me?” - maybe.
It’s always about choice - about choosing how you see your past.
The healing journey is about coming to a place where it becomes your choice - whether your past is your prison or your learning and stepping stone.
My ghungroos remind me of that beautiful time of dance, it brings sadness too for not being able to pursue dance, but it brings hope too.
What will you choose to feel about your past?
