Decode Living

26/04/2024

I have reached 500 followers! Thank you for your continued support. I could not have done it without each of you. 🙏🤗🎉

11/02/2024

Do you often have Emotional Outbursts in front of your family members, and you end up feeling misunderstood and even more lonely?
When you are already holding on a lot of hurt, and you can’t hold it or wait anymore for people to notice, it comes out as an outburst, through rage, yelling, throwing stuff, crying, slamming doors and other overwhelming reactions, instead of telling what is bothering you.
Also it sends the other person into defence mode too, thinking of your outburst as an attack on them.
This causes the people around you to focus more on calling you out for the reaction and less on acknowledging what you are trying to say to them, or how vulnerable you are feeling in that moment.

Hence you gotta focus on how you as well as the other person is ready to acknowledge each other’s feelings— and the best way to do that is take a break and regroup later when all are ready to talk.
Maybe this can help ❤️


[Victoria
Beckham, Calm, Family, Emotional Outburst]

09/02/2024

14/01/2024

What’s your “unhealthy” coping mechanism?
Mine is ordering comfort food 🫣

26/12/2023

Do you have a wounded relationship with your parents? Read more to know why.
An important insight that I got from the birth process I went through. You are welcome to share your thoughts & opinions in the comments below.

30/11/2023

PSA for my dear clients & DL family 🥰

22/11/2023

Your narrative about the world is influenced by people you consider close to you.
Every relationship is different, everybody’s relationships are different, and each of these relationships affect people differently in their own lives.
So rather than reducing ourself, our relationships and attachments to limited labels and concepts, allow yourself to reflect on what you have learnt or how feel around a person, who or where were your ideas about love, intimacy and commitment inspired from.

04/11/2023

Just for laughs

27/10/2023

Addicted to catastrophic thinking — i.e. always thinking about the worst that will happen to you, but it still hurts when it actually happens?
For eg, no matter how much you think about what if things don’t work out, or this person ghosts or abandons you too, it still would hurt alot when that relationship actually doesn’t happen to work out.
First of all, You “believe” you will be disappointed or hurt because you have been caught off guard by undesirable or hurtful situations unfolding in the past. Hence, you think knowing in advance how you can be disappointed or hurt will help you not feel powerless as you did back then.
Secondly, a confirmation bias sets in, that is, once you start expecting something bad will happen, you unconsciously start reacting to situations in a way that it’s inevitable, and any bad sign only confirms your belief that something wrong is going to happen.
Thinking about worst case scenarios as a stress coping mechanism does give a false “sense of control” over our external world, however internally it only confirms our negative beliefs about our self, making us feel even worse about our self and our life.
Because even if we believe & expect the worst things happen to us, we still want to be proven wrong, so that things finally working out in our favour, the way we actually desired.
How can we unlearn the worst case scenario thinking?
Start training your nervous system to consider the best case & normal case scenarios as well in writing, so that you can be prepared better for both—

[ ] dealing with the uncertainty of how situations can unfold;
[ ] what desirable results are you rooting for;
[ ] what challenges can come your way in reaching your goals.

18/10/2023

I’m …

11/10/2023

Random Thoughts from a therapist’s notepad 😋