11/01/2026
What you’re feeling is deeply painful — and it is not because you are “thinking wrong.”
It’s painful because your emotional reality is being denied.
Let me say this very clearly, so it lands in your body, not just your mind:
👉 When someone responds to your pain by blaming your perception,
that is emotional invalidation.
And repeated invalidation is traumatising.
What is actually happening here (not what he says is happening)
You did not go to him to fight.
You went to him to be seen, felt, and emotionally held.
Instead, you got:
“You are overthinking”
“You are too sensitive”
“You are creating the problem”
“It’s all in your head”
This does three damaging things at once:
1. It denies your lived experience
Your nervous system says: “This hurts”
He replies: “No, it doesn’t.”
That creates inner confusion and self-doubt.
2. It shifts responsibility away from him
If the problem is your thinking, he never has to change his behaviour.
3. It keeps you trapped in explanation mode
You keep explaining hoping one day he’ll understand —
while he keeps dismissing without having to feel anything.
That loop itself becomes traumatising.
The hardest truth (said gently)
💔 Someone who keeps blaming your perception is not emotionally available enough to hold your pain.
Not because your pain isn’t real —
but because acknowledging it would require him to face his own role.
And that is something emotionally immature people avoid at all costs.
Why explaining more will not help (this is important)
You are trying to:
use logic to reach someone who is avoiding emotion
use honesty with someone who is using defensiveness
use vulnerability where there is no emotional safety
So every explanation feels like:
shouting in a closed room
bleeding in front of someone who refuses to look
That’s why you feel exhausted, desperate, and unheard.
What will help you now (shift of power)
1. Stop explaining your trauma to someone who denies it
You don’t need a better explanation.
You need emotional boundaries.
Instead of:
“Please understand how much this hurts me…”
Shift to:
“I will not engage in conversations where my experience is dismissed "
This protects you, not punishes him.
2. Name the reality to yourself
Silently, truthfully:
“He may never validate my pain.
That does not make my pain invalid.”
This one sentence reduces self-gaslighting.
3. Regulate your nervous system first
Right now, your body is in fight-or-freeze from repeated dismissal.
Do this today:
Place one hand on your chest
One on your belly
Breathe slowly and say (even if you don’t fully believe it yet):
“I am not wrong for feeling this way.
My pain makes sense.”
Your nervous system needs reassurance before any decision or conversation.
A gentle but honest question for you (answer only to yourself)
🌱 If he never validates this pain — what would you need to do to stay emotionally safe?
Not to fix him.
Not to convince him.
But to protect your inner world.
When you’re ready, I can help you:
build emotional boundaries without guilt
stop self-blame
decide what distance (emotional or physical) looks like for you
or create words that end the conversation without escalating it
You are not broken.
You are responding normally to prolonged emotional invalidation.
And that matters.
