Emoticon Mind and Wellness Clinic

24/05/2018

Dealing with a child addicted to Stealing
Many a times we find parents struggling with a child who is habitual to hide things in their pockets/ bags. Instead of getting angry, parents should accept that stealing is an issue which is faced in many households and can be cured permanently.
Here are a few tips to handle kids having stealing problem.
1. Symptoms that your child might be stealing
Following are the symptoms that your child is under the risk of becoming a thief.
• Un explained Anger
• Aloof Behavior
• Lack of self-esteem
• Gets bored very easily
• Insensitive to others emotions
• Change in family situation, for example, Parental Separation
• Impulsive behavior
If the parents start helping their child handle these symptoms, lying and stealing can be brought under control.
2. Understand the reason why the child steals
Many young children do not even understand the meaning and effects of stealing. A small child hardly has any idea of what he owns or doesn’t own. Anything that he is able to grab becomes his. Most preschoolers are not able to differentiate between what belongs to them or doesn’t belong to them. Everything they are able to take hold of becomes their property. They are unknown to the concept of ownership. According to them possession is ownership and thus if the chocolate is in their possession, then they feel that it belongs to them. It is the parents who might feel embarrass for such behavior of their child. Children are very impulsive and without much a thought they grab things which they like and mostly even without showing it to anybody. Once the child goes to proper school, they are introduced to the concept of stealing and how bad it is. They slowly understand that they have no right to touch or grab things which do not belong to them.
But some children as they grow older, become smarter in stealing. The only fear they have adult admonition. Some children have tendency of not returning things which they have borrowed which actually also be termed as stealing. Admonishing is not a solution to solve this problem because it might even lead to more serious issues. Parents must teach their child in a proper way that the way the child has a right to not share his belongings, similarly other children have right not to share their belongings with him and grabbing someone else’s thing is actually a bad thing.
3. Responsible Parenting
Children having good parental support and connect are always more responsive and sensitive towards others. They respect others rights and have good mannerisms. Children living in joint family also have high moral values. The parents are in constant touch with their children and can easily detect any behavioral changes because of personal connection and they can even discover when their children are lying and usually instantly correct the behavior. These children have deeper concern about their relationship and image building with their family members. Children who are pampered in nuclear family and those whose parent do not have time to give individual attention to them are more prone to developing the habit of stealing without understanding the long term complications.
4. Compliment on being honest
Whenever your child or any other person’s child returns you a lost thing, always compliment the child publicly on being honest. These gestures foster the sense of pride of being honest in the child.
5. Introduce the concept of ownership
Preschoolers have tendency to consider everything in their possession as their property because they do not understand the concept of ownership. Though most children know the concept of “mine” and “yours” but they infact seriously believe that whatever they are able to grab becomes their property. Responsible parents should always teach their child the concept of ownership by statements such as “This is daddy’s pen” and “This is Jessica’s book and we should not touch it.” The child will very soon understand the concept of ownership. In case you find some new toy in your child’s bag, you should guide him to reveal the name of the person from whom your child has managed to grab it from and make him return the toy with a proper apology. Teach your child that if someone takes his toy home, then how bad he will feel. These statements help in reinforcing the pain of parting with a toy and your child will soon learn to avoid grabbing other children toys.
6. Teach your child to value Money
Many a time, children have tendency to ask money from family members as if it is their right. Responsible parents should always teach money matters to their child. They should not keep their purse/ wallets at places from where the children can easily access money. Most unattended purses/wallets incite children to steal. Parents should give money to their child with proper accountability and should even teach the child to keep their money safe from any possible sibling access.
7. Do root cause analysis
The most important part to resolve any matter is to do root cause analysis. Similarly one must find out what makes the child steal. If the child is habitual to stealing despite teaching the concept of ownership then it is definitely an area of concern. One must find out that whether the child is stealing for taking revenge or he is stealing because he feels that he can get money only by stealing. Most children these days tend to steal because of peer pressure. Some children have access to easy pocket money and buy things that may act as a trigger to other children who may not be having similar privileges. Knowing the exact cause of the problem can help in finding the solution to the problem. If stealing is due to peer pressure then starting a pocket money or giving your child a like-minded friend circle can resolve the problem. Make your child earn the money by asking him to complete simple tasks at home. One can also gift money on your child’s achievements in school or extra-curricular activities. If you introduce your child to the pride of earning and the shame of stealing, he will surely understand the difference. There might be issues of parental supervision or over pampering which might be the root causes of stealing and if the exact root cause is known, solutions can be designed accordingly.

19/05/2018

18/05/2018

Tips to be in your kids good books!

17/05/2018

Is this counselor right for my child?
Though there is no professional body which regulates the rules and regulations for counselors but it is desirable to take your child to a qualified counselor who is mellow and sweet so that your child is comfortable meeting the counselor. Please note that the counselor should never be introduced as a doctor to the child. Instead introduce the counselor as a family friend to your child and if possible ask the counselor to visit your house, so that the child doesn’t get a feel that he has some medical problem.

17/05/2018

Is child counseling beneficial?
A child can need counseling if the child has issues with learning difficulties, exam, peer pressure, behavioral issues, separation anxiety, teachers, attachment disorder, bereavement/ loss etc. Children indulging in self-harm or facing frequent anxiety and depression can also be guided through proper counseling. Parents get extremely worried or sometimes get angry on the child when the child doesn’t behave as per their expectations. But instead of creating unnecessary pressure, taking your child to a Counselor is the best solution to tackle such situations.

17/05/2018

Why Counseling is useful?
A Psychological Counselor handles the matter in the right manner. The ultimate aim of counseling is to help the child in coping the situation and bring back happiness in his life. The child gets an opportunity to express freely because the Counselor is a good listener. The very act of speaking to someone other than a family member of friend gives a comfort to the child. A counselor gives enough comfort to a child to express and even guides the child about how to express. A counselor uses different methodologies to help the child deal with the situation systematically in numerous sittings by using methods such as sports, drawing or reading books and talking therapy. Please note that Counseling is a lengthy activity and depending on each case, it may take several sittings to resolve the matter in its entirety.

17/05/2018

Child Psychological issues
Usually adults can ask comfort and guidance from friends and relatives though it’s not always feasible. Many adults are very much hesitant to seek help on mental issues. Therefore one can imagine how difficult it can be for a child to deal with similar situations. A child facing a mental issue or facing difficult situations will find it extremely difficult to handle such situations.
We should avoid judging children and never ignore the change in their behavior. Mostly children confide in their friends or sometimes share their problems with school teachers or school counselor. Parents or guardian should never react if the children are not confiding in them because most children are scared of their parents and thus might prefer to speak to some other person.
If you find some drastic change in your child’s behavior, write down all the changes which have happened in the recent past to understand the root cause of their problem. New school, shifting of house, bullying, parental fights, death of a pet or relative can have a drastic impact on a child’s mind and cause them immense stress. In such situations, do not admonish your child instead give your child good comfort and assurance that you will be always available for resolving all their issues. But if the child is still not able to cope up with the situation, it is time to consult a child Psychologist.