Beta baap baap hi reheta hai

08/11/2017

03/10/2016

टीचर ने स्टूडेंट से पुछा।

टीचर: एक बात बताओ, तुम पढ़ने में ध्यान क्यों नहीं देते हो?

एक स्टूडेंट : क्योंकि पढाई सिर्फ दो वजहों से की जाती है।
1st डर से
2nd शौख़ से
और,

बिना वजह के शौख हम रखते नहीं और
डरते तो किसी के बाप से नहीं।

03/10/2016

Wife – “मुझे एक नई साड़ी चाहिये,
अम्मा जान से मँगवा दो.”
husband – “गंवार पागल, वो अम्मा जान नहीं..
Amazon है….!!

19/04/2016

"Cheeta Cigarette Ka Kash Lagane Hi Wala Tha Ki
Achanak Chuha Wahan Aaya
Aur Bola, Bhai Chhod Do Nasha,
Aao Mere Saath,
Dekho Jungle Kitna Khubsurat Hai.
Cheetah Chuhe Ke Saath Chal Diya.
Aage Hathi Co***ne Le Raha Tha,
Chuha Fir Bola,
Bhai Chhod Do Nasha,
Aao Mere Saath,
Dekho Jungle Kitna Khubsurat Hai.
Hathi Bhi Saath Chal Diya.
Aage Sher Whisky Pene Ki Tayari Kar Raha Tha,
Chuhe Ne Usse Bhi Woi Kaha.
Sher Ne Glass Side Par Rakha Aur Chuhe Ko 5-6 Thappad Mare.
Hathi Bola: Kyun Maar Rahe Ho Is Bechare Ko ?
Sher Bola: Ye Saala Roz gaanja peekar Aise Hi Sabko Puri Raat Jungle Ghumata Hai

19/04/2016

Ek bhikhari bheekh mangne ke liye masjid ke bahar baitha tha. Sab namaazi aankh bacha kar chale gaye aur usko kuchh na mila..
Wo phir church gaya..
Phir mandir aur phir gurudware..
Lekin usko kisi ne kuchh na diya..
Aakhir me ek beer bar ke baahar aakar baith gaya..
Jo bhi sharabi baahar nikalta woh uske katore mein kuchh daal deta
Uska katora paison se bhar gaya...
Faqeer bola :- "Waah re Prabhu" Rehte kahan ho aur address kahan ka dete ho..

19/04/2016

Pakistani, American aur Indian ek ship mein ja rahe the..
Achaanak ek Jinn aaya aur bola: "Samundar mein koi cheez pheko, agar maine dhoondh li to main tumhein maar dunga aur na dhoondh paya to main tumhara Gulam".
Pakistani ne sui phenki.
Jinn ne dhoondh li aur use maar diya.
American ne memory card pheka.
Jinn ne dhoondh liya aur use bhi maar diya.
Indian ne kuchh phenka...
Ginn ne bohot dhoondha, dhoondh dhoondh ke thak gaya aur poochhne laga.
"Batao mere aaka main haar gaya"
(Socho Indian ne aisa kya phenka hoga ki jinn uska gulam ban gaya?)
Indian bola: "Main bhi tera baap hoon, maine Disprin ki goli fenki thi,
Chal Beta, ghar chal bohot kaam pada hai"
JINN Shocked & INDIAN ROCKED.

19/04/2016

Ek Boodha ek ladki se takra gaya.
Boodhe ne ladki se bola: Sorry!
Ladki: Andha hai kya..... Dikhta nahi hai... Is umar mein bhi ye sab... Pata nahin kahan se aa jaate hain!!!
Yeh bolkar jaise hi woh ladki aage badhi, ek handsome sa ladka us se takra gaya.
Ladka: Sorry...
Ladki, sharmaate hue, "Koi baat nahin. it's okay!!!
Woh boodha yeh sab dekh raha tha. Usne aakar ladki se poochha: MERI SORRY KI SPELLING GALAT THI KYA??

19/04/2016

Ek aadmi ka dil kitna bada hota hai aur aurat ka kitna chhota aap khud hi dekh leejiye
Ek aurat ke dil mein sirf uske lover, apne pati aur apne bachchon ke liye hi jagah hoti hai
Lekin aadmi ke dil mein to
Apni lover
Dost ki lover
Bhai ki lover
Padosi ki lover
Bivi ki saheli
Behan ki saheli
Padosan ki saheli
Apni saali
BHai ki saali
Saale ki saali
Saali ki saheli
Saamne waali
Peechhe waali
Baaju waali
Upar wali
Baaju waali
Neeche waali
Sabji waali
Doodh waali
Kapde waali
Kaam waali
aur aakhir mein thodi bahut apni patni ke liye bhi jagah hoti hai
Sach mein aadmi ka dil bahut bada hota hai

19/04/2016

Modern Love:
Ek ladka blood bank mein: Sister mujhe ek botal khoon de do.
Sister: Blood group batao.
Ladka: Koi bhi chalega.
Sister: Kaise.
Ladka: Mujhe love letter likhna hai

19/04/2016

"8 secrets of success" U can find in your room.
1.ROOF says - Aim high
2.FAN says - Be cool
3.CLOCK says - Every minute is precious
4.MIRROR says - Reflect before u act
5.CALENDER says - Be up to date
7.DOOR says - Don't miss the opportunity
8.BED says - SAB BAKWAS HAI, Mast chadar odho aur so jao

19/04/2016

Musafir: Beta aap mujhe thoda paani pila denge.
Bachcha: Agar lassi ho jaaye to..
Musafir: Tab to bahut hi achcha hoga
Bachcha lassi le aaya. Musafir ne 5 lote lassi peene ke baad bachche se poochha
"Beta tumhare ghar mein koi lassi nahi peeta"
Bachcha: Peet to sab hain lekin aaj lassi mein chooha gir gaya tha aur ussi mein mar gaya.
Musafir ne gusse mein lota zameen par de mara.
Bachcha rote huye bola "Mummy inhone lota tod diya, ab toilet kya lekar jaayenge

19/04/2016

Thought of the day:
Aap bas pe chadhein ya bas aap pe chadhe
Dono mein hi ticket aapka hi kat-ta hai