Healing minds for better life

22/12/2022

Why do some people lick management feet for promotion and for protecting a job? How would their mind be satisfied by degrading themselves?.,,

Bootlicking can be defined as “seeking favors or goodwill from office bosses in a servile or degraded way”. Bootlicking is a hidden business for inefficient Managers and employees – it is extremely annoying and bootlickers are under performers. Bootlickers are spies for their masters – they thrive only when they find something to coat with sugar to their bosses. They are the sweet talkers – the razor blade or double edged tongues and play on both sides of teams on the field in an effort to get information or sweet talks to shower their bosses. Over the time, they have developed skills to manipulate the weaker team members in order to receive praises from the fingers that feed their bellies – it is all about money – not morality, ethics or professionalism. Morality, ethics and professionalism were traded a long time ago for money.

There are many forms of tactics bootlickers exert or practice in the environments in which they operate such as showing adulation to the ‘boss’. Here bootlickers behave like they are the last born or only child of their mother – they make every effort to sit beside the ‘Strange Leader’ at meetings or lunches. They do not like it for anyone else to sit close to the ‘Strange Leader’. They seize every opportunity to ensure that the boss’s every impulse and fancy wish or command is fulfilled.

Boss may be told nice stories of what is happening on the ground and the boss feels great without verifying – when in the real sense what is happening is totally different.

Bootlicking is dangerous both to the boss entertaining it, the manager or employee perpetrating it and to the organisation that has provided fertile grounds on which this bootlicking is breeding. It’s harmful and corrupts the organization because it distorts decision-making and diverts the organisation from what it supposed to achieve., organizations must make decisions based on merit and rational thinking, whether the issue is promotions or the development of staff for them to be effective. Morality, corporate governance ethics and professionalism must be engaged to champion the cause of the organisation.

When the culture of bootlicking is supported and sustained by the ‘Leaders’, the merit goes out and all bootlickers in the organisation continue the lifestyle of actors and actresses in order to attain the goodwill of the ‘ Leader’. There is no leadership that lasts forever. History has many records of leaders whose end was shameful and embracing.

21/12/2022

We care about your childs health.

20/12/2022

PRINCIPLES OF EFFECTIVE FAMILY ENGAGEMENT
The first step in systemically embedding effective family engagement in early childhood systems and programs is to establish a culture in which families are seen as essential partners in the systems and programs that serve their children. The Departments consider the following practice principles foundational to establishing a culture that values family engagement.
1. Create continuity and consistency for children and families
2. Value respectful and trusting relationships between families and professionals.
3. Develop goal-oriented relationships with families that are linked to children’s development and learning.
4. Engage families around children’s health, mental health, and social and emotional well-being.
5. Ensure that all family engagement opportunities are culturally and linguistically responsive.
6. Build staff capacity to implement family engagement practice principles.
7. Support families’ connections and capabilities.
8. Systemically embed effective family engagement strategies within early childhood systems and programs.
9. Develop strong relationships with community partners that support families.
10. Continuously learn and improve...

03/12/2022

The self changes in depression. It feels qualitatively different: it is a self that lacks volition, and that is infused with a sense of fatigue and aimlessness. The self is thought about in negative terms. The depressed person ruminates about the self’sdeficits, feels guilty about past actions, and has a sense of foreboding and hopelessness about their future. When depressed, the way “we find ourselves in the world” is not the same .

01/12/2022

01/12/2022

Numerous studies have shown that the main cause depriving people of happiness is the lack of autonomy, the ability to make their own choices.
Restrictions on our autonomy are the root cause of the majority of our unpleasant feelings. Think about the feelings arising within us when we are coerced into doing something we do not want to do; engaging in activities we are not interested in, or taking on tasks we do not want to carry out. We feel annoyed, disconnected, averse, disquiet, sad and tense. And it happens numerous times, each day.

01/12/2022

The Psychological Effects of Yelling at Kids: Fight, Flight, or Freeze Response.

The psychological effects of yelling at children, especially younger ones, are real. Dr. Markham says that while parents who yell at their kids aren’t ruining their kids’ brains, per se, they are changing them. “Let’s say during a soothing experience [the brain’s] neurotransmitters respond by sending out soothing biochemicals that we’re safe. That’s when a child is building neural pathways to calm down.” When parents yell at their toddler, who has an underdeveloped prefrontal cortex and little executive function, the opposite happens. Their body interprets their resulting fear as danger and reacts as such. “The kid releases biochemicals that say fight, flight, or freeze. They may hit you. They may run away. Or they freeze and look like a deer in headlights. None of those are good for brain formation,” she says. If that action happens repeatedly, the behavior becomes ingrained, and informs how they treat others. If you’re yelling at your toddler every day, you’re not exactly priming them for healthy communication skills.

How to Stop Yelling at Kids..

1-Remember young children aren’t trying to push your buttons.
2-Give them the benefit of the doubt.
3-Consider that yelling teaches children that adversity can only be met with a raised and angry voice.
4-Use humor to help a kid disengage from problematic behavior.
5-Laughter is better than yelling and tears.
6-Train yourself to raise your voice only in crucial situations where a child might get hurt.
7-Focus on calm dialogue. Yelling shuts down communication and often prevents lessons from being learned.

27/11/2022

Why People Develop a Phobia of Inner Experience..?

Generally the phobia of inner experience develops for three different reasons
1-First, many people who were traumatized early in life did not get much help in learning how to understand and cope with typical intense inner experiences such as overwhelming emotions. They received too little help and reassurance from caretakers. Thus, they feel easily overwhelmed, simply because they do not understand these experiences and feel they are not controllable.

2-Second, people tend to evaluate their inner experience as “good” or “bad.” They go on to label themselves in the same way: “Anger is bad and dangerous, so if I feel anger, I must be bad and dangerous;” “Only people who are unlovable and worthless feel shame; so if I feel shame it means I am a failure and unlovable.” Of course, we all want what is good and pleasant, and we want to avoid what is painful, just as we want to be good people, not bad ones. But our inner experiences are not what make us good or bad;they are just a natural part of everyone’s internal world.

3-Finally, certain inner experiences serve as reminders of past traumatic experiences or as signals that something terrible is about to happen. For example, when people, or some dissociative parts of themselves, feel anxious, the emotion and physical sensations may immediately remind them, even if only on an unconscious level, of the fear they felt when they were being hurt in the past. They thus try to avoid feeling anxious so as not to be reminded of unresolved traumatic memories. Others might perceive an inner experience as a signal that something is about to go wrong. For instance, a person who feels sadness may believe or merely sense that this emotion precedes an overwhelming experience of despair, lack of comfort, and aloneness. Thus, sadness is avoided to prevent the other expected and really difficult experience from occurring.

24/11/2022

'The worst part about having a mental illness is that people expect you to behave as if you don't.'

Mental illness is just like any other illness in that it has physiological and biological elements, but it is different in that many of it's symptoms manifest in behaviour rather than physical ailments.

Self-regulating the thoughts resulting from mental illness requires a great amount of struggle and self-control that no one can see. You are literally fighting a war inside your self.

But at the same time others will expect you to conform to a set standard of 'normal' behavior in both public and private. That adds a second layer of struggle.

You are fighting a war inside yourself to be 'normal' and simultaneously fighting another war inside yourself to ensure that you appear 'normal' to others.

People with mental illnesses and disorders suffer a lot. And unlike most with regular illnesses, they often suffer alone. Most of their suffering is in their minds, but no one else is there with them to reassure them and comfort them with their uncontrollable anxious, depressed, panicked or compulsive thoughts.

The best thing to do if you have mental illness is to speak to someone about it, i.e a therapist or counsellor. Don't suffer alone. And the best thing you can do for someone who has it is to listen, be understanding and support them.

If the person with the illness or those around them either ignore that there is a problem, consider having a mental illness repulsive or shameful, or avoid the required treatment and take the wrong route towards it because of misinformation, then it will only dig the pit of despair that they are drowning in deeper until they are lost forever. Don't push them further into themselves, otherwise they'll start looking for more extreme measures to 'get out'.

21/09/2022

How Parents Shame Their Children
Sometimes parents deliberately shame their children into minding without realizing the disruptive impact shame can have on the child’s sense of self. Statements such as “You should be ashamed of yourself” or “Shame on you” are obvious examples. Yet, because these kinds of statements are overtly shaming, they are actually easier for the child to defend against than more subtle forms of shaming such as contempt, humiliation and public shaming. For example, behavior that is acceptable at home is suddenly seen by parents as bad when they are in public. Or a parent seems to be ashamed because a child is not adhering to certain social norms that he is completely unaware of. Such comments as “Stop that, you’re embarrassing me in front of everyone” not only cause a child to feel exposed, judged, and ashamed but also burden him with his parents’ shame as well.

20/09/2022

08/09/2022