06/04/2025
“Doc, they keep asking me for proof… but how do I show them what my mind feels like?”
She’s 24. A bright young woman who just started her first job at a bank. Anxious every morning. Paralyzed by fear. Sleepless at night. Trying her best to stay afloat, but the panic doesn’t care about office timings. She’s under my treatment. On medications. Attending therapy regularly.
And every time she’s not able to perform well or is absent at work, she’s being labelled ‘irresponsible’, ‘Not serious about her job’, ‘Too sensitive’, ‘Just making excuses.’
They don’t say it directly. But the message is loud and clear:
“You don’t ‘look sick’, so how bad can it be?”
I’ve written to them on her request... explained the diagnosis, requested workplace modifications, urged for empathy. But it circles back to the same question:
“Is there any proof that she’s actually ill?”
And I’m left wondering— What more proof do we need before we start believing emotional pain is real? Would a panic attack need to happen on the office floor to be taken seriously? Would we finally believe her if she collapsed? Why is it that someone has to break for us to stop questioning their suffering?
As a Psychiatrist, I see this every day. Because it’s not just the illness... It’s the loneliness of having to explain, justify and defend your own pain.
If you’ve ever asked someone to ‘just be strong’ or ‘stop overreacting,’ maybe ask yourself, would you say the same to someone with a fractured leg?
It’s time we start offering compassion where its most needed. So here’s something to reflect on - How many people around you are silently drowning - because they’re too scared of being judged for needing help?
Because mental health isn’t invisible to those who choose to see!
– Dr. Kirti Tandel
Consultant Psychiatrist
Dr. Kirti Tandel’s ‘मन:स्पर्श’ Clinic
