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Monday 07:00 - 19:00 Tuesday 07:00 - 19:00 Wednesday 07:00 - 19:00 Thursday 07:00 - 19:00 Friday 07:00 - 19:00

Tina Chatterley Therapist & Coach

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Tina Chatterley Therapist & Coach

Tina Chatterley is a psychotherapist, life coach and Clinical Supervisor. Psychotherapy , Life coaching, Clinical Supervision and Training

05/11/2025

Good morning gorgeous people!

Well today I am celebrating not fitting in.

We can spend a lifetime trying to belong and compromise ourselves into the bargain.

I went to refer a client that I could not take on this week to another therapist who I value and respect.

Checking out their contact details I saw how much they were charging – which was way over what I knew this person could afford.

So I checked out some others who I would also have felt comfortable referring on to.

Same thing – starting from £100 a session.

We all have costs and overheads to meet and our professional requirements also cost several thousand a year BUT this did not sit well with me.

I agonised this year before putting my fees up to £80 a session!

I want to be able to be there for people who need support and not capitalise on their pain and challenges.

My values and passion for people has always come before profit - but thats me!

So we will be remaining at that price point for the foreseeable.

Sorry not sorry!!

04/11/2025

Good morning lovely people!

Just a few words today about giving yourself permission to let go of people and being ok with that!

We don’t have to fall out with people in order to let them go.

Sometimes people just organically fall away from our lives – no aggro, no fallouts we just grow apart or that chapter in our life comes to an end.

We share things in common with people, we are on the same page and sometimes that lasts a lifetime or sometimes is a chapter of our book.

Accepting that friendships or collaborations have reached their natural end is an ok thing to do.

This is a lovely little piece that covers this.

It happens to us all – personally and professionally – totally natural and totally ok!

Sometimes we have to let go of the old to make room for the new.

Enjoy everyone who comes into your life but also be ok with wishing them well and letting them go!

Big love ###

03/11/2025

Welcome to the new working week in a new month!!

OK so lets start as we mean to go on and I would ask you to consider making this NO-vember!!

I don't want to be the first to start using the C word but because of time and money some of us will be starting to consider and plan for the coming weeks.

Please manage your finances and time according to your means!!

People who love and care for you will not want you to commit to stuff that you simply cannot afford or which stress you out.

I will absolutely be aiming to produce and provide a warm, loving day which is as simple and stress free as possible - focus on sharing a day with loved ones that does not kill me in the process or which bankrupts us!!

You can only give what you have to give - physically, emotionally and financially!! ###

Big love ###

02/11/2025

Happy Sunday darling people!

Well that was quite a shower yesterday afternoon! The rain and hail were so strong and loud and it just came from nowhere!

Life can be like that as well as many of you are weathering emotional storms right now!

Sometimes we can be blindsided by life and none of us have perfect, neat, tidy lives where everything goes right all the time!

Life and people are not and never will be perfect but they are interesting, real and some of the most incredible people are forged from the most challenging journeys!

So wrapping loving supportive arms around all who are going through a real messy phase!!

You have got this - sometimes simply because we have no choice but you will be ok!! ###

01/11/2025

Welcome to the weekend gorgeous ones!!

As you know I am always pushing myself to move forwards, do more, do better so that I can positively evidence to clients that change can be made and its never too late to grab the life you deserve!

So while I absolutely love my life I have been making tweaks this week and trying new routines, pushing my comfort zone and I have just had the best time!

Achieving new things, creating new things builds our confidence in ourself and our ability and supports us in dropping the T in can’t!!

Motivation, enthusiasm and a general joie de vivre builds when we can say I DID THAT!!

There is always room for making things just a bit better, to enjoy life just a bit more, to squeeze just a bit more life, fun, laughter and joy out of the day!! ###

31/10/2025

Happy Friday lovely people!

A few words today about ego, attention and love bombing!

Being in a long term relationship is hard work and has many ups and downs!

Sadly but inevitably its easy to take each other for granted.

For most couples this is easily rectified by paying more attention to each other and their needs.

However some people will have their egos stroked by receiving attention from someone else and that can be very dangerous!

While its normal to feel flattered by attention from someone else and at an ego level we can enjoy that it is important that if this happens we remind ourselves – that is all it is and it is certainly not worth risking everything we have built over the past 10-50 years creating for!!

I have seen perfectly sensible men and women literally throw their whole lives, careers, homes, partners and children away for the sake of what can amount to be a bit of empty flirtation!

Whats more if someone will do that with you they will do that to you – so two married people flirting is really playing with fire!

There is also another element here and that is love bombing and feeling pressured into sucumbing to the seductions of someone only to find that when they have secured and lured someone into their web – reality turns out to be a whole lot uglier.

Love bombing will flood and overwhelm us - real love is slower and more consistent and supports us in blooming!

Real love needs to be nurtured and tended to with care!

So the grass is definitely not always greener over there – the grass we water is greener!!

So if there are issues in the relationship work on on them or walk away for yourself definitely NOT for someone else!!

Frying pan – fire!! ###

30/10/2025

Good morning wonderful ones!

We tend to shut down with people who we don't feel safe with or who don't listen and we open up when we feel safe and understood!

Human nature, trust your gut and your instinct to read the energy of those around you and know when to share and when to keep your own counsel!!

Big love and huge hugs ###

29/10/2025

Good morning lovelies!

Routine and structure and being organised are coping skills that can support us in feeling calm, confident and in control – depending on our personality type!

I love making a plan, creating a framework and putting action lists in place.

So I had great fun taking time out yesterday to start looking at a winter project I am working on.

We need head space to get creative.

Having the time to tinker about and try stuff out instead of being under pressure to complete is great.

For me I always visualise what I want to achieve and then work towards making that happen.

We create everything in our life twice, once in our head and then in reality.

So if we are sowing the seeds for an idea or challenge to grow start by creating it in your mind and seeing it the way you want it to be and then work towards it in reality.

Just be patient – sowing seeds is one thing but then we have to water them and feed them the right stuff to allow them the time and energy to grow, blossom and then bloom.

Start tiny, work up and follow up - baby steps, patience and enjoy the journey - whereever that takes you!! xx

28/10/2025

Good morning lovely ones!

Well there was a big reaction to the post yesterday about families so I am following up on that today to normalise some of the negativity we can experience at any age within the family system.

Whenever I am working with loved ones in conflict we are always looking to work without guilt, blame and shame because those are the very harsh issues that family and “loved ones” will throw at us in order to control and manipulate us.

Shame comes from all the times we are made to feel as if we do not belong, that we are not good enough or that we are failing in some way.

Imagine carrying those beliefs around with you every day of your life and taking them into every situation in your personal life and professional life.

The ringing of those messages in your ears and how that would impact your interactions with people!

So serious recovery starts with revisiting those beliefs and really questioning – where did that come from? Whose voice is that?

A parent, a sibling, a relative, a teacher, a friend, a partner – whose voice holds you back and puts you down.

Very important to remember that sometimes we are told these things not because we are not enough BUT because we are seen as having so much potential that the only way these people feel they can remain in charge of us is to put us down in order to control us and keep us small!

Back to the politeness thing again – children should be seen and not heard!

So if you have quietened your voice, tippy toed around people in your life to avoid conflict and keep the peace – that was never about you my love – that was about their insecurities and lack.

So time to stand tall, find your voice and be the version of yourself that you were always born to be but never felt allowed!! ###

Rock that damn boat lovely – capsize the thing if you need to but stop being invisible!! xx

27/10/2025

Good morning lovelies!

So lets get real today!

John Clease wrote a great book called Families and how to survive them for a good reason!

However much we may love our immediate blood family sometimes we don’t like them or some of their behaviours very much.

Why I am posting about this today? Because it’s a reason that many people come and see me and one that brings with it the taboo of breaking loyalty and huge amounts of shame which families are really good at!!

We were bought into this world by human beings who had their own fears, doubts, trauma and abuse sometimes, who in turn were bought into this world by other people etc etc…..

So we can pick up their limitations, patterns, communication and coping styles and sometimes familial trauma!

No-one speaks to Aunty Eileen – she is shunned by the family – WHY? No-one knows or remembers but no-one is allowed to speak to her – sound familiar??

Historically this could have been because poor Aunty Eileen had a child out of wedlock or committed something else that the family decreed to be a crime!!

So part of our recovery is to look at the patterns, habits, beliefs and values of those people who bought us up and who we grew up with and to feel safe to challenge, question or let go of stuff that we now deem to just be absolute bo^^*(ks!

The world is a different place and we are different people and we have all hopefully evolved since the 40s, 50s and 60s!

So if you have tried your best but despite your best endeavours you simply cannot wrap your head around the gaslighting, manipulation or controlling behaviours of some family members it is ok to give yourself permission to detach and put some space between you and create some boundaries – and yes you may feel guilty and yes it hard but its not as hard as spending the rest of your life trying to appease someone who doesn’t get it!!

If they don’t understand your siience they sure as hell wouldn’t understand your explanation!!

And for the record yes I have done this and yes life is totally improved without toxic and dysfunctional family members.

You can only give people the benefit of the doubt for so long because in the end the only person you end up doubting is yourself!! xx

26/10/2025

How lovely to start Sunday with an extra cosy hour!

As we adapt to the seasons and come towards the end of the month we are talking a lot about self care because it is not a luxury - its a necessity!

The older you are the more likely you have grown up with lots of rules, beliefs, patterns and behaviours that were firmly routed as manners, politeness etc.

I absolutely belief in strong values and manners but sometimes they can tip over into not having boundaries and becoming a people pleaser which is not good for you my lovelies!!

So having boundaries and giving yourself permission to say No! is allowed!!

Feel the weight and burden being lifted off your shoulders when you realise it is not up to you alone to keep everyone in your life happy and take responsibility for everyone and everything all the time!!

Sending big hugs and much love!! ###

25/10/2025

Welcome to the weekend darling people!

Well there is no doubt about it now its time to swop routines to take account of the darker mornings and evenings and cooler temperatures!

Making our homes warm and cosy and creating safe sanctuaries in which we can escape the weather, work, the world is so important!

However modest, however humble our homes and our lives are you deserve for them to protect you and support you in feeling safe, secure and somewhere you can stand down from the pressures and responsibilities when you need a break!

I changed over the quilt yesterday for a little bit of extra cosy. The throws and cushions have now been changed over for the more tactile fluffy fabrics and the heating is now officially on!

Tiny touches in our life show we care for ourself and our comfort levels.

Stay warm, stay cosy and stand down for the weekend!! ###

Address

Saint Brélade

Opening Hours

Monday	07:00 - 19:00
Tuesday	07:00 - 19:00
Wednesday	07:00 - 19:00
Thursday	07:00 - 19:00
Friday	07:00 - 19:00

Telephone

+441534486989

Website

http://www.TinaChatterley.co.uk/

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Our Story

As an experienced Psychotherapist of some 20 years there are three main areas of my business:

Psychotherapy and counselling for all aspects of emotional support including depression, anxiety, confidence, self esteem and PSTD/sexual abuse.

Life coaching support for all personal and professional development and goals driven change including relationships and career.

Clinical Supervision and Training to support all professionals who work with people. To meet their continued professional development, good practice and ongoing learning for professional confidence, longevity and sanity in an ever changing workplace.