Adjustment Guidance Nagoya Therapist

Adjustment Guidance Nagoya Therapist Native English-speaking psychology practice located in the heart of Nagoya, Japan.

11/05/2026

Latest Update to the Adjustment Guidance Blog:

Fatalism is the feeling that every outcome is already fixed in place and destined to be negative no matter how hard you try to turn things around. It is a form of feeling out of control and powerless. When fatalism is on board, it is easy to give up and feel like your fate has already been decided. It is easy to feel like nothing good is ever going to happen. We don’t have to accept a bad life. We can influence outcomes and take steps that prove to us that our actions can impact and change outcomes. This is not true for every outcome, and that is ok. It is also not perfectly true that negative outcomes or more likely 100% of the time. We can figure out which dynamics lend themselves to change by questioning our circumstances and having a challenge mindset. Instead of accepting what fate has to offer, we can investigate and experiment with our own power to change outcomes. It begins with paying attention to thought patterns and when you find yourself thinking "it's meant to be" or "there's no point" challenging this acceptance. Ask yourself if this thought helps you accept the uncontrollable or if it’s stopping you from trying.

Accepting fate can be comforting, and moving away from fatalism requires a bit of discomfort. Investigating and challenging our perception of what is and what is not susceptible to our influence is empowering. It is a powerful feeling to know that you can influence outcomes and change your life. You don’t have to accept what does not serve you. By replacing the thought "It won't work" with "What if I tried? What if it worked?", you begin to make space for your own abilities. Understanding the radius of your influence creates room for hope. Knowing that you can control your effort, attitude, and response makes room for the positive. Looking for and acknowledging small positive changes you create will highlight your ability to create change and rebuild your sense of personal efficacy. You can start by taking one small action to make your day more positive to break the cycle of acceptance. I suggest starting with your morning routine and adding one small thing just for you. It can be the addition of a favorite beverage or some morning stretches. Something just for you.

You don’t have to wait to feel inspired: if you are not a morning person, then add something at another time of day. You have the power to choose when and what this small gift and pocket of positivity looks like for you. Another important step is detoxing your feed. Seek out uplifting content, such as podcasts, nature shows, or reading materials that foster hope. Limit exposure to negativity. This also includes the people in your life. Seek out people who focus on solutions rather than those who reinforce a feeling of helplessness or negativity. Actively look for positive or neutral things in your power to counter the habit of focusing on the negative. When things feel overwhelming, allow yourself to rest. Resting and recharging is important. Having a culture of self-compassion where your well-being is the central focus feeds positivity. I know this can sound selfish, but when we take care of ourselves we have more of ourselves to give. We also have more space to hope and work towards a future that has us excited. Changing our mindset and embracing our power is hard work, and we should be sure to balance the work we are doing with time to recharge and recalibrate. Taking care of ourselves is a key part of the process. We don’t have to change everything all at once. Every step, even the small ones, helps.

04/05/2026

Latest Update to the Adjustment Guidance Blog:

Most of us have an inner life that is extremely cruel. This is due to our self-talk. Our internal dialogue can either lift us up or quietly tear us down with a constant stream of criticism. This is because most of us do not learn how to set boundaries within ourselves. If we think about it for a moment, we quickly realize we would never tolerate a stranger coming up to us and saying some of the things our inner voice says to us. That is because we have an expectation of what living in a civil society looks like. We have clear set boundaries. Our internal life is much more intimate than society, but don’t we deserve to have boundaries there as well? Don’t we deserve to have a civil internal life that lifts us up and helps us have more good days than bad? This is achievable and starts with retaining our inner voice. When we no longer accept cruelty and criticism, they stop being our default. Noticing cruelty and criticism and calling it out as not consecutive begins to interrupt the pattern and opens the door for redirection.

A simply question in the face of criticism, such as asking for something constructive that is helpful, moves us towards accepting and acknowledging our own humanity. To be human is to be flawed. In our human moments, we do not deserve to be torn down and destroyed. We deserve consideration and compassion. We deserve a way back from our mistake. We deserve to be forgiven and allowed to move on. Calling ourselves names or dooming ourselves does not match reality. The worst outcome of most mistakes is the effort necessary to correct them. We can reduce that effort by acknowledging that the mistake is frustrating and wish it had not happened, but it is not world ending. When we hear ourselves reduced to name calling and harsh criticism, we should take a moment to ask ourselves what the truth is. Are we really stupid: is that what we really think? If we truly believe ourselves to be stupid, what can we do about that? There are courses for everything. There are a million and one ways to improve intelligence.

By examining the criticism and making the cost for criticism taking action, we reduce the insults we use. We begin to move away from harmful self-talk that only serves the purpose of tearing us down. We start to replace throw away insults, such as calling ourselves stupid, to properly naming the emotion driving it as frustration. By taking a moment to figure out how we are feeling, we can then do the work to resolve those feelings in a productive way. Through this process of examining criticism, taking action, and exploring the emotion driving the criticism, we move towards self-compassion. We start a practice of self-warmth and kindness in moments of struggle. We are all going to struggle, and we do not deserve an inner voice that heaps cruelty on top of our struggle. We do not deserve punishment on top of our struggle. It is human to struggle, and challenging moments are not our forever. Criticism in those moments are a distraction that prevent us from making progress. Our inner critic wastes our time because there are no solutions in the criticism. Knowing that our internal negativity does not serve us or tell us the truth makes it easier to turn down the volume and, over time, let it go completely.

27/04/2026

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A hard truth is that many successful people still feel constantly on edge. This feeling of being constantly on edge is a system-level miscalibration, and this is good news because we can learn to recalibrate. If we understand panic and anxiety as a false signal under uncertainty load, we can do the work to reduce uncertainty. This is also true of perfectionism and the need for control. Whatever the anxiety trigger, we can reduce and adapt to the trigger. Reducing triggers is a familiar concept for those battling anxiety with adaptation being generally less familiar. I introduce adapting to triggers because most successful, high-functioning people are under-adapted to ambiguity. A great many people struggle in the gray area of uncertainty. This is because successful people tend to exert a high level of control over their success. Being successful is often the result of executing a well thought out plan or series of moves. Because success is often hard won, it can feel fragile and precarious.

Learning that our success is resilient and that we can make it bullet proof is a process that begins with getting comfortable or adapting to ambiguity. Most of us learn that what we cannot control is what hurts us, and this is true far less often than we think. I will concede that there will be times that the unknown is dangerous but note that holding space for our destruction is not the right solution. To reinforce this, I often ask my clients to think of examples when the unexpected brought something positive into their lives. The biggest, most unexpected event for most people is finding love. We often hold on to our big, unexpected wins less tightly than we do our unexpected losses. Disappointment, hurt, and fear are so much louder than satisfaction, comfort, and safety. Letting go of our fear of the unknown takes the bullhorn away from anxiety and the fear that is driving it. Letting go of fear allows us to feel safe in the unknown. A big help in letting go of fear is naming what there is to be afraid of.

When we know what we are afraid of, we understand what our control, perfectionism, and anxiety are trying to prevent. Another part of adapting is exploring what positive outcomes might exist in parallel with the bad. When we allow ourselves to acknowledge that uncertainty holds positive and negative possibilities equally, we learn to balance the scales. We train ourselves to not only look for the bad in ambiguity but also the good. We train ourselves to see the unknown as endless possibilities because that’s what it is. Tomorrow is unknown. Even if we are going to work tomorrow, there are a million little things that we cannot predict that may positively impact our day. We can take steps to increase the likelihood of positive outcomes, but we cannot guarantee all of them. Most people struggling with anxiety already know this. That’s a starting point, and we must also embrace that we cannot guarantee all the negative outcomes either. If we are comfortable with the unknown pockets of positivity, we can embrace ambiguity and balance the scales. We do not need to be battle ready, and we can enjoy the good that is coming to us. We can embrace the positive in the unknown.

20/04/2026

Latest Update to the Adjustment Guidance Blog:

Life most often feels out of control when we are focused on external events or what other people have that we don’t. Another culprit is looking too far into the future. These habits lead to feeling overwhelmed, afraid, out of control, and trapped. The first step is to focus on right now today. What can you do today that will make tomorrow better? If this thought creates negative feelings, remind yourself that it can be something small. It can be as small as drinking a glass of water to ensure you are well hydrated. The size of the action does not matter. What is significant is finding a starting point that reminds you of the choices you have. A starting place for regaining control, reducing stress, and improving your life. Focusing on what you can do today also reduces the scope and scale of the impact of your actions. This means we stop focusing on everything that is wrong and out of our control. By asking ourselves what we can do today, it makes our actions time-limited. It also reduces what we are trying to impact by focusing on what we can do today to make tomorrow better. Not the rest of our lives, just tomorrow.

By limiting our focus, we naturally reduce judgment. If we are just focusing on a 24 hour period of time, we no longer have the weight of the rest of our lives and the judgments that come with that time frame. We also simultaneously satisfy and reduce the urgency of now. The urgency of now tells us that, if we do not accomplish all of our goals right now, we are failing. By focusing on a 24 hour period of time, we satisfy the need to take action now, however we remove the belief that we need to fix everything today because the goal is improvement and not completion. We are not trying to fix all of our problems today: we are simply trying to make tomorrow a bit better, even if only by a little bit. By focusing on small things we can do today to make tomorrow better, we create the permission structure necessary to chip away at larger goals. Most large goals need to be broken down into smaller steps to be achievable. There are very few things in life that can be accomplished all at once. This is also true of being in control. What we can control and influence are a series of small things that add up.

By reducing the scale of our vision from everything and nothing to small or bite-sized pieces, we quickly shift away from what others have control of to what we control. Using the water example, if we decide to drink more water, we are in total control of when and how that happens. There are thousands of small decisions we make every day that reflect what we are in control of. If we start looking at small changes, they add up over time and bring into focus all of our choice points and decisions we must make. They begin to paint a picture of how we got to where we are now and how we can change the things that feel overwhelming. We can make different choices. Our lives are a series of small choices that combine to have large consequences. Taking back control is about actively choosing what you do and do not do. Sometimes the thing we need to change to make tomorrow better is what we say yes and no to. By making small changes today, we can make big improvements for our tomorrow.

15/04/2026

Latest Update to the Adjustment Guidance Blog:

A polycrisis is a profound feeling of fear and helplessness due to economic, environmental, and technological (AI) uncertainties. Uncertainty in just one of these areas is enough to destabilize anyone, but when all three converge it can feel completely overwhelming. One of the ways we deal with this actually makes things worse. Seeking more information quickly turns into doom scrolling. Watching more news and accumulating more information that supports our fears is not healthy. Our “What if” thinking generally hyper focuses on the worst outcome. As we gain more bad news, we fuel our doomsday fears and validate our worst case scenario. Sadly, in today’s world, finding trusted sources of balanced information is becoming harder and harder. With that said, we do need to become better at vetting our sources and sourcing facts without emotion so that we can better understand reality. Even our most trusted news source needs to be vetted for bias. If we are getting our news from the internet or even government news sources, then we must be aware that the primary motivation is clicks and views.

When studied, the world is informed that bad news gets clicked on, read, and shared 30 times more than positive news. This is a big driver of how news stories and posts are created. We need to question the purpose of the source. Does this source truly want to inform me or is its primary goal engagement? Is the news that it is reporting balanced, objective, and fair? Does it share more than one point of view? AI is a great example of this. If you search news about AI taking over jobs, you can find lists of jobs that AI has taken over or will take over. One at the top of every list for jobs AI has taken over is copy editing. I personally know the owner of an editing company, and while they do use AI, they have not laid off a single person. They still need a human in the loop. We need to ask ourselves what first-hand knowledge we have of anyone losing their job because of AI. I am not denying that it is happening; I am merely sharing that it is not happening at the rate reported. Many people laid off on the first wave of AI job takeovers have been rehired. AI is not going anywhere, but there is time to pivot to a job that is not under threat from AI.

If the fear of AI is more existential, then look at realistic timelines for when AI will have the type of roles you fear. Right now, AI does not actually “think”, meaning it is not able to act in the way that drives most existential fears. We can do the same process when it comes to climate change. There are people in the world working to solve or reverse some of the damage to the climate and are making great strides. Balancing what we know about climate change with what is known about climate recovery is essential to having a balanced understanding of both. Also doing what you can to limit your negative impact on the climate is empowering and reduces feelings of helplessness. When it comes to the economy, most people are more impacted by microeconomics than global economics. Microeconomics focuses on the behavior of individuals and firms in localized areas. Local trends are more likely to impact you personally than country-wide, regional, or global behaviors. Large-scale economic trends tend to not directly impact the individual. Industry changes in our local area or country tend to have more of an impact. If we balance our focus between good and bad news as well as local and global news, we can craft a more realistic picture of the future and avoid falling into a state of polycrisis.

07/04/2026

Latest Update to the Adjustment Guidance Blog:

When we are quick to anger, have anger that is greater than the circumstance calls for, or have difficulty letting anger go, we need to improve our anger management. This type of anger can feel out of control and like it may never end. When anger becomes “locked on,” the best response is to become inquisitive. Before we can become inquisitive, we need to create a safe emotional space for the exploration of our anger. Anger often demands to be expressed, and there are safe ways to do so. Finding a private space to vocalize or yell helps get the anger out of our bodies and into the world. Sometimes doing physical activity such as shadow boxing, pushing against a wall, or running can also help to get it out of our body. When anger is not expressed or expelled, it tends to feed itself by circling in our brain and making it impossible to calm down. Getting the anger out of our body and into the world is the first step in being able to self-regulate and de-escalate. Finding what works for you is a matter of trial and error. Once the anger is out of our body and in the world, we can begin to focus on what we are really angry about.

To excavate what is driving the anger, we can ask ourselves what is the trigger. Anger triggers come in a variety of shapes, but the most common are feeling disrespected or trapped. A few other common drivers of anger are inequity or unfair treatment and feeling impeded or interfered with along with feeling like there are issues left unresolved. Understanding which of these is happening allows us to make a plan to address the core trigger, but before we can do that we need to express how we feel uncensored. We can say how we feel out loud, to a friend, or wrote it down. The important thing is that we do not censor our expression or language. This uncensored expression will help us uncover what the fuel for our anger is. Are we unable to let go of the anger because we feel the affront will happen again or that we are co-signing the dynamic if we let our anger go? Do we feel like we are going to lose something or that someone will get away with bad behavior? Knowing what our anger is preventing allows us to make a plan to address it. We can switch from anger to problem solving. We can develop a way to hold others accountable that do not cause harm. We can also look for loopholes in systems that are unjust.

It is important, when we are developing our plan, that our solution is not delivered in an angry way. We can further our ability to problem solve by also exploring what emotions come up as the anger fades. Does letting go of the anger feel unsafe because of the underlying emotion, such as fear, panic, dependence, or uncertainty? Is there the feeling that, if you are not angry, patterns or behaviors that are unacceptable will happen again? Does letting go of the anger feel like losing? This type of excavation can reveal the fuel and allow us to move away from rumination and hyper focus on anger. Understanding what’s at risk if the anger goes away provides the space for creating safety. Knowing what staying angry holds in place and protects you from unlocks the ability to move beyond anger and into problem solving. Being angry feels awful and rarely, on its own, improves situations. Sometimes, even the smallest of actions can move us out of anger and into a calmer, safer mindset. Examining the anger proves that we are not stuck and that we can regain control. It takes time and practice for us to learn how to manage our anger, but it is worth effort.

31/03/2026

Latest Update to the Adjustment Guidance Blog:

Knowing the signs that you need a digital detox and conducting them regularly can make a big difference in the quality of your life. A major component of protecting our peace and well-being is paying attention to the physical, behavioral, and psychological warning signs of digital overload. Physical symptoms are usually the earliest of warning signs with symptoms like eye strain, headaches, insomnia, joint pain, as well as back and neck pain. The second wave of symptoms to watch out for are behavioral. Some of the behavioral indicators are irritability, feeling like we need to be on alert, having difficulty concentrating, and checking devices so much it interrupts relaxation. Psychological indicators include feeling on edge and anxious, increased restlessness, decreased life satisfaction, depression, irritability, mood swings, and increased feelings of insecurity especially after using social media. If we pay attention to the warning signs, we can then start a digital detox that will reduce or alleviate digital fatigue. Because of the impact that digital fatigue can have, regular digital detox needs to be a part of self-care.

Once we realize that we are struggling with digital fatigue, we can then make a plan and develop a digital detox routine. Most people start too big and then find themselves struggling with digital withdrawal. Like other types of self-care, finding what works for you is a crucial component for a successful digital detox. A successful digital detox should improve your mental health rather than increasing anxiety. The key is starting where it makes it most sense for you. This is usually a series of trial and error. When developing our digital detox routine, we need to be patient with ourselves while we figure out how to create a balance of stepping away and still being connected enough to work and maintain our social connections. This necessitates complete honesty about our digital behavior and determining what supports our peace. For some, turning off non-essential notifications improves their life by leaps and bounds, and for others it leads to increased vigilance. Others may find that a more comfortable starting place is to have an hour before bed or the first hour of the morning to be unplugged. Once we have a small thing that we can do on a daily basis to prevent digital fatigue, we can use that as a springboard to start a digital detox.

A good starting place is cleaning up our apps and subscriptions, and deleting the ones that do not contribute to our happiness or make us feel good is an essential part of the process. Even apps that on the surface may appear to be healthy and can become a burden and increase our digital load, and the same can be said of subscription services. If we don’t use them, we don’t need them. This is especially true of apps designed to track or encourage behaviors. If the apps are not effective in increasing desirable behaviors, that leads to feeling bad about ourselves and negative self-talk. Once we have deleted non-essential apps, we can then work on time away from devices. Having spaces that are device free can help a lot with unplugging. Finding things to do that do not require us to be looking at a screen is essential. Dabbling in a variety of activities such as art, dancing, coloring, sewing, model building, or leatherworking are a few activities that can keep us busy and device free. Trying new things that spark creativity will make it easier to move away from digital stimulation. Finding activity based social groups in real life will also be a big help. When there is a balance between digital and analog activities, we tend to be happier and more present and keep digital fatigue at bay.

23/03/2026

Latest Update to the Adjustment Guidance Blog:

Knowing our worth can be very challenging, especially so if we come from a culture that values humility and warns about the dangers of being prideful. It is important we keep in mind that being prideful is about comparison and having pride is about humbly acknowledging our individual strength. Healthy pride requires humility because it is humility that keeps us grounded and motivates us to grow. We need humility to understand that we are not perfect and have our limitations. Everyone has limitations, and a large part of knowing our self-worth is understanding how to navigate shortcomings and maximize our areas of talent and expertise. By doing an honest self-inventory of what you excel at and what areas need more development, you can choose your priorities with clarity. Thinking you are not good enough does not create the motivation to grow but rather causes stagnation. Knowing where you thrive allows you to divide your time between enjoying your talents and personal development. You are worthy of time spent in ease. Not every minute should be spent in struggle. When we know our self-worth we know that we are worthy of balance.

Having a clear understanding of what we are good at allows us to spend time enjoying the knowledge and talent we have earned through education, practice, and life. We all have areas of expertise, and further development of what we are good at is a valid path. We are deserving of time spent building on our strengths. Gain or improvement does not need to be painful or solely focused on areas of shortcoming. When we know our worth, we can clearly see that we have achievements and understand the importance of enjoying the fruits of our labor. If we spend the majority of our time berating ourselves and focusing on what we don’t have, we create a miserable existence. No one deserves to feel miserable and less than all of the time. When we focus on what we don’t have, we foster a competitive mindset and miss out on collaborative opportunities. We also become very reactive when faced with constructive feedback. The less we value ourselves, the more closed minded we become. The more time we spend criticizing rather than celebrating ourselves, the more we fearful we become.

When we create an internal culture of hyper criticism, we reduce our resiliency and ability to grow because life becomes a zero-sum game. In hyper critical dynamics, comparison and scarcity of resources takes center stage, leading to hyper competition. In reality, there are enough resources to go around, and when we know our worth we are comfortable with accepting what we have earned. We understand the value of our work in professional and personal arenas. Knowing our worth protects us from accepting less than we’ve earned and protects us from exploitation. Knowing our values allows us to set standards that allow us to thrive. When we are in a hyper critical state, we feel like we are less than and therefore accept situations that keep us stagnant and cause us harm. Accepting less over time wears us down and makes it hard for us to have any positivity because we are consumed by the effort it takes to survive. Shifting from a survival mindset to one that is focused on thriving begins with owning what we have already achieved and understanding how to set realistic goals and expectations for the future. Building towards our goals allows us to feel revitalized and protect our mental health. Knowing your worth is the foundation that allows you to build a life with more good days than bad.

16/03/2026

Latest Update to the Adjustment Guidance Blog:

One constant in life is change, and many of us struggle with a fear of change. This is especially true if what we currently have feels safe. Change doesn’t mean we are losing what we have. Change can be an opportunity to make what we have more resilient. Resilience isn’t always about bouncing back. It is also about flexibility and our ability to navigate challenges without panic or fear. The more resilient we are, the calmer we feel. By accepting that change is a part of life, we increase our resiliency and reduce our fear. Change is often a catalyst for growth, and that growth does not always necessitate letting go of what we have. Most often, change comes in small incremental moments and decisions that move us towards a new path. This gives us the opportunity to take with us the things and people who serve and uplift us while letting go of the things and people that do not. It is this process of letting go that often drives our fear. Another reason we fear change is that we fear disruption or doubt our ability to maneuver in new spaces. We can learn to cultivate an internal culture of trust and abundance.

When I say inner culture of trust and abundance, what I am referring to is trusting ourselves to handle upheaval and being open to growth that is necessary for us to have what we want. Most of us will need to change some aspects of our lives to truly have the life we want. Once we have what we want, we must be open to making changes that allow us to be present in the modern world and protect what’s important. Technological advances often cause changes that impact every aspect of our lives because of how these advances impact knowledge and communication. This is just one example of an area of change that most of us have already adapted to. It is an example of our resilience in the face of change. If we accept that the world and society are constantly evolving, it becomes easier to accept that we must evolve on a personal level. If we look back on our lives, we can see major changes we have survived. With this knowledge, we can then start to develop an internal narrative of trust. While it is true that every change did not lead to abundance or necessarily improve our lives, they also did not destroy us.

Knowing that we have and can survive change provides an opportunity for us to ask ourselves: how can we use change as a catalyst to create abundance in our lives? How can we use change to increase our joy? Shifting our focus away from surviving change to using change to help us thrive is at the heart of an abundance mindset. Abundance is not just about money or material things; it is more about the quality of our life. It is about making the space for the things we value most and making that space flexible. Persistent happiness requires a lack of rigidity. If we are too set in a specific structure or precise behavior, we lower our resilience and reduce our joy. Learning to be more flexible takes practice. We need to find spaces where we feel comfortable letting go of control. When we realize that we don’t have to be on top of everything all the time for our life to be good and happy, we fear change less. Humans by nature are at their best and most innovative when they embrace uncertainty. Acknowledging that we cannot prepare for everything and leaving space for adaptability leads to more good days than bad and reduces negative rumination. Being open to new possibilities and welcoming positive change is freeing.

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1 Chome-14-10 Yamada
Nagoya-shi, Aichi
462-0810

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