19/03/2022
As common as miscarriages are, they can still generate enormous feelings of loss and grief in expectant parents (and others heavily invested in the pregnancy, such as grandparents of the child lost). It is absolutely normal to experience grief after a miscarriage, whenever it occurs in the pregnancy; however, recent research shows that around 15% of women who experience miscarriages suffer from more serious grief-related symptoms that may require the assistance of a qualified mental health professional (Leis-Newman, 2012).
If you are suffering from the symptoms below over a long period of time or to the point that you cannot function normally, you may want to look into counseling or therapy for your loss.
After a miscarriage, the sufferer may experience:
Depression
Numbness and disbelief
Anger
Guilt
Sadness
Difficulty concentrating
Fatigue
Trouble Sleeping
Loss of appetite
Frequent episodes of crying
Broken or suffering relationships with family or friends
Self-harm/suicidal attempts or actions (American Pregnancy Association, n.d.)
A common post-miscarriage grieving process may unfold in the following manner:
Getting to step three doesn’t mean the grieving process is done, but it means you have accepted your situation and you now understand what you’re dealing with; from here, it can get much, much better.
To help you along your grieving process, remember to:
Reach out to your loved ones for understanding, support, and comfort.
Seek counseling if you need it, and encourage your partner to seek counseling if he or she needs it; know that you are not alone.
Give yourself the time, space, and permission to grieve and remember what you have lost.
Set realistic goals for yourself, and focus on one thing at a time.
Allow yourself to feel both grief and joy; celebrating brief moments of joy does not dishonor your loss (American Pregnancy Association, n.d.).
While you are grieving your loss, it can be all too easy to focus on your own grief and ignore your partner’s experience. This is dangerous to the health of your relationship and should be avoided at all costs. To help your relationship survive the grieving process, be sure to:
Be respectful and sensitive to your partner’s needs, as they should be to yours.
Keep the communication lines open and share your thoughts and emotions with one another.
Accept the differences in coping styles and acknowledge the other’s coping process as valid (American Pregnancy Association, n.d.).
Coping with a miscarriage is a heart-wrenching and difficult process, but know that you are not alone and there are tons of people out there who have suffered the same loss, and tons of support available
