Mental Health, by Mwendwa

21/04/2022

Hello world. Good morning.
Have you showed an act of kindness today or it's still too early? Smiled at a stranger today or you are afraid they will project their issues onto you? Held the door for a stranger or they will get to where you are going before you?
Kindness to others is an investment through the world.
When you are nice, the world smiles at you too. Be kind today, to others and to yourself!

19/04/2022

Hello world.
Happy Easter.
Shadow work means working with your unconscious mind to uncover the parts of yourself that you repress and hide from yourself. This can include trauma or parts of your personality that you subconsciously consider undesirable. This is done to create self awareness, self acceptance and self compassion. You stop being too hard on yourself, understand your past trauma and come to terms with it. It also means that that part of you that you were ashamed of, people can't use it to hurt you anymore because you've accepted it as part of your past. Unearth all the hidden parts of you and deal with them so that people can't use them to hurt you, take all the power and control how it can be used on you.
You can do your shadow work alone, or in case of severe trauma talk to a therapist to help.

18/04/2022

The art of happy lies in the power of extracting happiness from common things sunsets, rain, dancing, smiles and so on.
Hello world. Find your happiness today and don't let it go.

15/04/2022

How many women die in killer marriages!

1. They believe the LIE that he will CHANGE and they will finally get the fairy tale marriage they always wanted. Remember abusers can be extremely charming and manipulative, so they keep the victim feeling responsible for provoking their anger. They say things like,"why do you do things that make me angry? You are the one who upset me, I am a very good man." Some even use scripture to shackle the victim into "submission ". This sets up the victims and makes them feel responsible for the abuse. It gives victims a false sense of control of the abuser andthe abuse, when in reality the abuser is always in charge. He decides how your day will be!

2. The women underestimate the risk they are in. Many times these women get so accustomed to the beating they stop seeing that it is getting worse. Outsiders can see that you have moved from being threated to being slapped, to being shoved and now you are being chocked, punched and kicked in the chest. Victims tend to downplay the abuse in their heads sometimes to protect their own ego from the reality of what is happening to them. Admitting to the reality would mean doing something about it,so they downplay it to deceive themselves that they are still in the safe zone and that it is not that bad.

3. The women get so afraid of annoying the abuser that they stay to keep him happy. A man can beat and torment you so badly that staying with him seems "safer" than leaving him. Many victims fear their abusers anger so much, that they choose to stay to pacify him.

4. Some victims stay to death to avoid dealing with the people who warned them about that man. Many of them will admit that people warned them about marrying him but they didn't listen, so they stay to try and prove their "accusers " wrong. Have you ever tried to convince someone to leave an abusive marriage or relationship? If you have let us meet behind the tent for a support group😬...


4. Many women stay for the honey moon phase🤩🤗.What we need to remember is that the cycle of abuse has a honeymoon phase. This is the place of romance and bliss like never before. Victims power through the incident because they know the honeymoon is coming, they will be rewarded for their beating and the cycle continues.

5. Other women die in those marriages, because they don't see anything left to loose. By the time these women die physically, they were walking corpses, dead women walking! Abuse of any kind will slowly make you a dead man or dead woman walking. You will not even know that you died as soon as you got married, honey you started dying the day he started abusing you, you just got buried 40 years later. Died at 25, buried at 65 because you moved from living to surviving, from surviving to existing and one day you will stop existing all together. Abusers are like pythons💀,they slowly choke the life out of you.

6. Some women get so isolated from their loved ones, they loose their entire support system as it gets cut off by the abuser. Their entire lives rotate around the abuser, day andnight he owns them. At some point, even when they want to leave, they look around and find no one to hold their hand or take them in. Lets purpose to never let them go no matter how much they push us away. If you know someone in an abusive relationship, let them know you love them and you will never let them go! Let us not be silent!

Rest in Peace dear one......



Musings of a Practicing Therapist
Kendi Ash*tiva

17/03/2022

HEALTHY HABITS FOR YOU MENTAL STRENGTH
We do so much to take care of our physical body. We eat balanced meals, visit the doctor for checkups, drink water and probably even work out. But what do we do for our mental wellbeing? Keeping a healthy mind is just as important as keeping a healthy body, because one can easily influence the other.
There are some habits that improve our mental health.
1. You are in control of your emotions.
In as much as we can’t control what other people’s actions are, we are in control of how we let their words or actions make us feel. Trying to move past our emotional hurdles can be exhausting, but very necessary for our mental wellness. It’s okay to feel sad and recognize our negative emotions, but we can’t let that drag us down.
2. You question your thoughts and beliefs
When you think critically about your thoughts and beliefs, you are challenging yourself. You grow your ability to question, analyze and draw your own conclusions instead of just flowing with the crowd. It allows you to dig deeper and learn more. A person stops growing when they stop reading.
3. You have healthy boundaries in place for yourself
This is a healthy habit for your mental strength. Boundaries are a measure of your self-esteem. Do you feel like a doormat? Do you drop everything to help everyone and has no time for yourself? When you create healthy boundaries, you are showing others how to treat you while allowing you to be your best self. We should learn the art of saying no when it’s for our good.
4. You actively learn from your mistakes
We all make mistakes. The difference is how we react after the mistake. Obsessing over things you’ve done in the past only adds more stress to you. When you start to think about what happened, figure out why it happened and make a plan for how to improve, you will become mentally stronger because it shows you are choosing to grow and learn from past mistakes.
5. You limit your time on social media
Social media is a huge part of our society and daily lives. It can be great way to connect with friends and family, endless memes and cute cats. But it is also a hub for negativity. An unhealthy game of comparison with friends’ edited photos and extravagant lifestyles can bring poor mental health. Prolonged use of social media may be linked to some symptoms of depression and anxiety.
6. Taking time for yourself
The world right now is a fast one. Between school, work, parenthood, and other necessary engagements most people hardly have a minute for themselves. Take time to recharge so that your mental health doesn’t take the hit. Downtime allow your brain to restore attention and motivation. It promotes creativity, strengthens memory and can even make you more productive in the long run. Take time to take a walk, read a book, do yoga or meditate to allow your brain to recharge.

16/03/2022

In therapy, there's a technique used called EMPTY CHAIR TECHNIQUE, under Gestalt Therapy.
This technique can be used in so many instances:
1. Talk to future/past self.
2. Talk to someone you can't face.
3. Talk to a loved one you are grieving.
4. When you have no one else to talk to.
During this therapy, you role play and visualize the person you'd want to talk to is seating right across you. You let them know everything you'd want to say but for one reason you can't.
For instance, a r**e or abuse victim. It's difficult for them to go looking for the perpetrator to tell them what they need heard. But also, instead of bottling up things that might hurt them later, this technique, of course under supervision of a counselor comes in handy.
Sometimes, we just need a listening ear, a sounding board for our ideas, not really advice. If you can't trust anyone with your deepest thoughts, you can also try this technique. Once you put words into your feelings or ideas, they take shape better. Your feelings also are validated when you speak them. Things like "I feel ...", "I think ..." and so on are an individual trying to talk through their feelings and emotions, this is very important so that you don't keep everything inside eating at you.
Today, be kind to yourself and put words into your feelings. Don't be a balloon of feelings kept hidden, talk!

14/03/2022

10 SIGNS THAT YOUR MENTAL HEALTH IS GETTING WORSE
1. You're losing interest in the little things - things that used to excite and give you joy no longer bring you happiness.
2. You get overwhelmed easier - when you have a to-do list, it feels like it's a lot more than it really is. It could be an internal reaction to outside stress. Try journaling, meditating or practice mindfulness.
3. You don't feel like socializing that much anymore - regardless of whether you are an introvert, ambivert or introvert, we all have a standard lever of the social interaction we can handle. Does your social battery go dry faster than it used to? Remember that interaction with people can actually boost your mood even though it doesn't feel like it right now.
4. You don't have a consistent sleep schedule - do you struggle waking up lately and sleep all day even though you have things to do? You could try setting up a routine to sleep and wake up at the same time everyday. This will get your body into a regular sleep pattern.
5. You always feel drained - You might be sleeping, eating and resting well but still feel drained. Mental exhaustion can be as a result of long term stress and leads to decline in mental alertness. You could try yoga or talking to a mental health specialist for a prescription.
6. Your anxiety seems to be increasing - do you wake up feeling like there's a dark cloud over your head that stays with you all day?
7. You feel mentally and emotionally scattered - feeling like there's so much happening around you but you can't seem to focus on any of them. This could be struggling to find your center. You need to find inner peace for this by practicing mindfulness, yoga and meditation.
8. You can't seem to pay attention - focusing and staying on task, when reading a book do you have to re-read over and over and still find it hard to understand? Remember to practice self-care.
9. Struggling with impulse control - are you over indulging in things you shouldn't or haven't been doing? Things like alcoholism, retail therapy, gaming, binge watching your favorite shows, social media and such? And for some reason can't seem to stop? You could try journaling, mindfulness or therapy.
10. Struggling to feel grounded - find activities that connect you with nature such as hiking, meditation or walking outside can help you find your sense of grounding. Sometimes, even something as simple as lying on the ground on your back, it all starts with your root chakra found at the base of your spine.

03/03/2022

https://youtu.be/Czg_9C7gw0o

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28/02/2022

Hello world.
Sometimes, that child you think is a problem child, just needs a little more attention and physical play. Don't be too quick to dismiss it or solve it with a prescription.

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18/02/2022

Hello world.
I am so glad that these talks are now happening, that people are begining to understand mental health and trying to forge ways of tackling mental issues.
I can't wait for the Mental Health Bill to pass, maybe then we will have a better budget allocation (in comparison to the 1% estimate that's there)
Let's keep learning

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01/02/2022

Hello world. It's been a minute.
Children most times than not, usually don't show their pain through talking. They show us their pain through "challenging behavior".
As adults, it's time we moved from seeing challenging behavior as "naughtiness" or a choice by the child, and look at what the child is desperately trying to communicate.
Let us learn to heal from our childhood pain and trauma so that it doesn't blind us from listening and hearing what our children are trying to say.
Let us make the children understand that their feelings matter and they can be heard.
As a society, let's do better!