Benjamin Zulu Global

10/08/2025

Why You Struggle to Find a Husband in Your Forties

Most likely, it has something to do with these repulsive weaknesses I've observed with many women in midlife, which they're notoriously ignorant about.

The best makeup is an attractive personality. It draws people to you more than your brilliance and your accolades.

Pay attention to these black spots in your personality. They make men to be magnetized by your figure or mesmerized by your brains, but the moment they encounter you up close, they retreat as fast as they came.

Number one: You talk too much.
You dominate conversations. You've achieved a lot in your career by this point. You have built businesses and scaled up companies or departments. You have lots of exciting stories to tell.

You're also the support system for your extended family, and you can tell a hundred stories about this nephew or that cousin you've been helping.

The problem is that you don't know how to calm down and listen. You have something to interject with at every point and a related story to everything.

When men spend some time with you, they can't wait to leave. You go around saying, 'We had such a wonderful connection with that guy. We talked for hours nonstop.'

But he goes away saying, 'I've just managed to escape a trap with a woman who wouldn't stop talking.'

You're heading a department in a large company that deals with car imports, for example, and a solitary guy walks in to make inquiries. You recognise him from college, and suddenly, you're over the moon, explaining your achievements over the years. You tie the poor guy there for hours with unsolicited stories and totally repel him from buying from you.

Unbeknownst to you, the guy is also single, but he has silently sworn that he would never want to be in the same space with you again.

You should have just asked him how he's been and seen how much he's willing to share or how much time he has for casual banter. Then, exchange contacts and try catching up later through a less demanding form of communication, like texting.

Second, you have a silent disdain for male authority.

You want a husband, but you hate the position of a wife. You're constantly arguing against concepts of submission and service to a man.

You got money, and it somehow got into your head. You keep saying things like, 'I don't need you. I choose you,' and men only hear, 'You're very disposable to me.'

You talk about open conversation when you just mean a loose mouth. You question a man's relevance in your life even when you're unprovoked.

You make your relationships a transaction with balance sheets. You keep hinting at the benefits a man will bring to your life. 'I have my house, my car, a decent job. The man had better step up or step out.'

Most of them just step out because nobody wants to marry a challenge.

Third, you're emotionally avoidant, and you operate in masculine energy. You say you'll become feminine when you meet the right man, but you don't ask yourself why he will be attracted to you in your male energy unless he's gay to begin with?

When you meet men for dates, you lead the way. You pick the tables. You pull your own chair. You make the orders. You initiate conversations.

You run your dates like boardroom meetings.

Men feel suffocated and emasculated. You never hear from them again.

Your response is always, 'Men nowadays are intimidated by empowered women like me.' You never turn the mirror inwards and look at yourself.

Fourth, you talk s**t online.
You fight men in the comment sections on Facebook and Instagram. You're aggressive in your opinions and move around like an activist.

It doesn't click with you that this is a public forum and would-be suitors are reading and getting the wrong image about you.

Fifth, you neglect your emotional history and recycle and repeat mistakes for years.

Why do you scream when you're upset, for example? Why do you throw things or go on a drinking spree when you're stressed?

Is that cheaper than therapy? Which man do you think can withstand that?

You earn, but you can't invest in psychological well-being.

You downplay counsellors and bargain until they leave you alone.

It's easier for you to channel huge amounts of money to rescue your alcoholic brother than to work on your emotional stability with a therapist.

You prefer partying and alcohol to destress instead of learning self-management and emotional maturity.

In short, marriage is a project in self-actualisation, and it will come from self-improvement and honesty. Escapism and avoidance will only keep you in a frustrating orbit.

(©️ Benjamin Zulu Global)

10/08/2025

If you knew what the narcissist is thinking about you, you'd be breaking your legs running. You wouldn't be attempting peace-making or to change yourself for them.

Here are five things going on in the narcissist's monologue about you.

One: How much can I take from this person?
From the time you get together, the narcissist knows you'll break up eventually. So they start taking things away from you even during times of peace.

They befriend your friends and family to win them over to their side. Sometimes you're taken aback when you learn they're calling your contacts behind your back, but you're accused of being insecure if you bring it up.

They leverage your belief that you're building a life together to get their names in ownership documents and title deeds.

They let you do the donkey work in building the family business, but once it matures, they elbow you out.

Narcissists don't choose weak people. They're takers, and they need someone who can enrich them.

It's dangerous to be sincere with someone who is being strategic with you. But how many people know about the existence of narcissists?

How many can pronounce that word? That's the narcissist's good luck in today's culture.

Secondly, they wonder how pathetic you are for loving them.

They hate themselves, and they hate anyone who tries to love them. They know you're misreading them. If you saw them for who they truly are, you'd be disgusted.

They feel superior to your vulnerability. While you're busy loving them, they mock your emotional investment. They see your love as a weakness to exploit. They feel contempt for your devotion.

Your love disgusts them.

Remember that anytime you love a person more than they love themselves, they'll always interpret it as neediness and treat you with contempt.

Number three: You deserve everything I've done to you.
They justify their cruelty by saying you're way too sensitive. You made them mistreat you. You provoked them into mistreating you.

You're lucky that they tolerate you.

They feel justified and entitled to abuse you.

Number four: I wonder how much they can take before they break?
The narcissist actively experiments with your triggers and limits and cloaks it as jokes and pranks.

If they learn, for example, that your child is the most sensitive part about you, they store that as a weapon to launch when they need to bring you down.

Because you think you're in love, you share your stories and past pains with them, not knowing they're gathering information about what they can use to break you.

This is precisely the reason they dig into your s*xual past and demand for details. This is one trademark sign of a narcissist that you can pick up early and run before they seize you.

Any time a person seems too interested in your past and the details of what you did with whom, run. That's a monster gathering weapons to attack you with later.

Lastly, the narcissist wonders how they can swap positions with you?

Your social life is real. You don't need to wear masks like them. You're liked by people for who you are as opposed to them who must sell a false personality. You have real joy and peace in your life, while they're constantly tormented.

You can rest and enjoy good moments with your children or friends, while they constantly need stimulation from lovers and their flying monkeys.

This explains why the narcissist gets triggered when they see you happy or peaceful. They envy that.

When you have birthdays or graduation, they try to steal the spotlight because they dream of swapping your honour for their misery.

This is also why they seduce your friends, family, and coworkers. They think you make friendships through seduction because they lack the patience to build genuine connections.

In short, a narcissist doesn't get married or even have children. Marriage is merely a torture crime scene for them, and children are missiles.

The one word former victims use to describe their relationship or marriage with a narcissist is fraud.

You should flee as if you've woken up when a robbery is happening in your house. There's no hope of change for a narcissist. They just change faces to buy more time.

(©️ Benjamin Zulu Global)

09/08/2025

If you want to get rich but you're stuck in a job you don't like, proceed as follows.

First, stop numbing the pain of your job. Do not go partying and other painkillers that only end up draining your hard-earned money in self-soothing rather than real solutions.

This gets you trapped in a paycheck-to-paycheck loop, and the pain is doubled. You're making money from a job that's painful to do, but the way you spend the money leaves you more stuck in that job.

Instead, begin an upward spiral by making a shift to your dreams.

In order to create wealth, you need to work at a job of your dreams or a business of your dreams.

A job of your dreams will pay you well enough to invest and create another income from those investments. You can then ripple that income to amass an empire by the time you retire.

A business of your dreams will generate income you can invest and create hands-free income. You can reinvest that income and build a network of incomes. This is the definition of financial freedom.

To shift the job of your nightmare to the job of your dreams, create a runway.

A runway is a space where you can work almost full-time on your dreams as opposed to a few hours a day after corporate jobs have sucked the soul out of you.

You create a runway by reducing your costs of living and setting aside a reservoir that can run you for some time.

Alternatively, have your partner hold fort as you lift the dream from the ground.

You can also switch to remote working so that you can channel commuting hours into your dream.

In short, financial freedom never comes from merely working hard. You need alignment and intention.

(©️ Benjamin Zulu Global)

09/08/2025

If you know someone has a soft spot for you, but you're leading them on for your selfish benefits, your karma is coming.

If they're offering you their essence in hopes that you'll change your mind and choose them, but you secretly don't want them, you should let them go.

Do not string them along to become your plug-ins when you're lonely. That's wickedness, and it'll return to you one day when you fall for someone, and they also use you as a human rug.

If you know that someone likes you blindly and their brain is not working properly because of the strong feelings they have for you, have mercy on them.

Step away and allow space for them to wake up. Do not watch them give their money, their body, and their time to you when they'll never get what they hope for.

One lady said that she had been in an intimate relationship with a medical doctor for over a year, with promises of moving in together.

When they had just identified the house and she had spent a week with him at a short-stay rental, he vanished.

She was a form four leaver herself, and she couldn't answer me the obvious question of why a doctor would choose her when he had so many options of women at his level.

Besides, she also had a child with a lawyer who had also disappeared after using her for a couple of years.

She thought these were legitimate relationships, and her refusal to accept herself made her an easy target for s*x pests.

That's how people are. If you mindlessly fall for them, they'll use you until they find something better.

As for you, do not plant such seeds of cruelty. If you know that you can't give a person what they're hoping for, perform mercy killing on that crush they have for you.

Starve it to death, and they'll thank you later. You'll also leave with a clean conscience knowing that you were kind to a vulnerable person and that God will cause others to be kind to you during your times of weakness.

'Remember to be merciful to those who are weak when you're strong, those who are wrong when you're right, and those who are desperate when you're comfortable. For one day, you'll have been all of them.' (Anonymous)

(©️ Benjamin Zulu Global)

09/08/2025

If you're wondering whether to stay or leave, do this

09/08/2025

https://youtube.com/live/c8fM-Ur52L8?feature=share

If you're wondering whether to stay or leave, do this

09/08/2025

A man who loves you in earnest will never want to be just your boyfriend. He will want to marry you as soon as possible to secure you for himself and eliminate all risk of losing you.

It's as simple as that.

The only reason a man strings you along with makeshift arrangements of boyfriend-girlfriend is because he kind of likes you, but you're not his final choice.

You're better than nothing. But you're not good enough.

Whenever you hear philosophies like 'I don't believe in marriage. It's just a paper. It's just a social construct. All that matters is love. This is the interpretation: 'I want you, but I don't value you. You're quite self-respecting, though, and I wouldn't get an entry into your life if I told you the truth. As a result, I must concoct a permissive philosophy that makes you love me but not have too many expectations of me.'

The same man will often marry within weeks of meeting the woman he genuinely loves.

Men have a powerful hunter instinct. They're competitive and territorial at the core. This means that his instinct is always to possess what's his and keep it away from other foxes.

In short, men see your value and want to access it at a bargain. They hope you're not self-aware enough to insist on a covenant before you can open your treasures.

That's why many have insulted you and reacted with frustration when you insisted on 'the blood of covenant' before the water of the womb.'

They never wanted love or life with you. They just wanted pleasure and games. That's why your boundaries angered them.

The prince who wants you will rejoice beyond words just to get a chance to make you his queen.

Since he knows he'll have you for life, he won't be fixated on unpacking your goods before time.

(©️ Benjamin Zulu Global)

09/08/2025

Another sign of a player they don't tell you about is low vibration. If someone is always down and bored, they'll seek out any form of excitement to lift their mood.

When someone hasn't found their happiness or things that fill their lives with joy, they'll be in constant search for distractions, and affairs will be one of them.

Do not fool around with someone who is bored with their own life. This means they haven't done the inner work to find their sweet spots in life, and their existence is, therefore, dry.

A lot of men have made the mistake of thinking the timid girl who has no life will be faithful. Shock on them.

That low vibration is a void that they constantly try to fill with any kind of attention they can get.

And since they don't have many options or standards, they almost can't say no to any man.

In short, when people have no life, they'll cheat to just feel alive.

We all need dopamine and the feeling of being alive. If we can't get it from healthy sources like an enjoyable career, joyful hobbies, and enriching relationships, we must get it from illicit sources like affairs.

Your job is to ensure that you choose people who have a life they're happy with. Only such a person can ever be faithful.

We're not saying everyone who has a life is faithful because loyalty is also a choice. We're saying loyalty is only possible for people who have a life.

(©️ Benjamin Zulu Global)

09/08/2025

Never test a person who has clear boundaries. They've already done their inner work to know what they will and won't accept.

Such people don't make threats. They make moves.

When they say, 'This doesn't work for me,' they're not opening a discussion. They're closing a door.

You'll never hear a man of self-worth explaining himself twice or justifying his standards. He has learned that the right person won't make him compromise on his peace.

A woman who knows her value doesn't beg to be treated right. She only has limits on what she will tolerate in her space. The moment you fall below that, it's a goodbye from her.

If you play hard to get or hide-and-seek with a high-value man, you can forget about him. He doesn't want anything that doesn't want him, and he has no time to run around after anyone.

If you make a good woman feel like you're comparing her with someone else, you can go to that other person. She knows which battles to fight, and convincing a person to choose her is not one of them.

In short, good people have options and the confidence to say no to anything that smells like dishonour.

They don't force what doesn't flow, and they seek alignment more than they seek acceptance.

Their entry brings peace and prosperity, but they only want someone who recognises and appreciates their value.

Having taken the journey of self-realisation gives them immunity to abuse and mistreatment. They have options, and they're not afraid to stand alone.

If you try playing around with them, mistaking their love for weakness, you'll only be playing yourself out of their life.

(©️ Benjamin Zulu Global)

08/08/2025

What good women resonate with fastest

08/08/2025

https://youtube.com/live/Vb9_DOaw-lg?feature=share

What good women resonate with fastest

08/08/2025

Good morning
There’s this lady with whom we have been in courtship for marriage for six months now. In the beginning, it was a smooth ride. We loved each other's company, laughed, and did other normal things people in a relationship would do.

We are now counting days until the wedding, less than a month away.

Suddenly, I am selfish, not romantic, among other things. I feel caged now. Where would I put my face? The shame after all the announcements in church, our families, and friends. Like, I can’t literally walk in town without being told congratulations.

We are doing a church wedding, so she became cold and condescending after the dowry was paid.

She earns a little bit more than I do. She’s been finding faults with me in everything I do. How I eat, talk, and walk
Things that were not an issue. So my question is, why now, after all these things have been done?

We have been friends for over 10 years. She’s been in previous relationships, some of which were intimate. She says two men had also proposed to her, but it never worked afterwards.

Somehow, those breakups are now being blamed on me, although we were never that close. Is it even worth pursuing this anymore?

I'm 31, and she's 25.

Obviously, you can see why the other two guys quit.

Patterns, brother, patterns.

Anyway, let's get into the details.

You're assuming that she was a good person, and now she has changed. That's where you're wrong. She was never a good person. She was only pretending. This is who she is.

You're looking at the real character now.

As a rule, people never pretend to be bad. They only pretend to be good. So when they show you good and then bad, always believe the bad.

What she created in you is called the fallacy of hope. It works like this: they create a love spell and make you fall for them. They basically mirror your wishes, especially because men tend to talk a lot when trying to win a woman, and she can easily mould herself into what you're describing.

They wait until you're committed through marriage, a child, or a forthcoming wedding, like your case, then they stop acting.

They let the mask fall, and their nasty side shows.

They're usually banking on your fear of shame and social image to lead you into the slaughterhouse of a bad marriage.

Breaking a wedding may be painful, but believe me, it's not as painful as breaking a marriage.

You're dealing with a narcissist par excellence, and unfortunately, most people don't know about them.

That's why you should always do your premarital counselling with a psychologist and not just a spiritual teacher, so that you can be taught about pathological humans.

Better still, educate yourself about abnormal psychology and personality disorders for your own safety in this world.

Also, when you hear that a 25-year-old has been in many relationships and intimate ones at that, what are you hearing?

Beware of people who spent their youth not in growth but in indulgence.

You're trying to marry a mature person. Maturity comes from growth, and growth takes time.

If you can't hear about a definitive period that a person invested in self-development, you're staring at a huge red flag.

That person will likely be moody, emotionally immature, and manipulative.

Sometimes, narcissism and materialism result from a failure to develop oneself to self-reliance.

Also, having been friends with someone before they matured means nothing. You should get to know people afresh after they cross 25. Their adult version may surprise you. It's often a very different person from the child they were.

In short, you have no options but to quit and save yourself. There will be discomfort and even some financial losses, but trust me, those who care about you will appreciate your decisiveness.

You can shift your residence to another town after that if you don't want too many questions. You can also disappear for a month or two to cool things off.

In the end, you'll have dodged a bullet and live to thank yourself.

(©️ Benjamin Zulu Global)