25/04/2026
If you want to leave me, the door is open. But don't destroy me first so that you can justify your leaving.
If you've changed your mind, just communicate instead of creating fake complications.
To make a mistake is human. But to destroy an innocent person in order to cover that mistake is inhuman.
If you had mistaken me for someone I'm not, just say it. But to gaslight me and make me question my mind and my worth just so you can find a reason to leave is unfair.
Perhaps you liked someone from the outside but once you got a closer view of their life inside the relationship you changed your mind.
We all understand that some realities about people can only be observed up close. You're not malicious for leaving because you got to see the person's financial life, their toxic family relationships, their circle of friends, their personal secrets and struggles like gambling.
But do you have to broadcast these things and damage their reputation just to justify the breakup? You could simply let them know that after getting to know them better, you discovered that you're not aligned on important things.
An exclusive relationship is the real role play. That's when you get a chance to position yourself as this person's spouse and see how it would feel inside the marriage.
If they cooperate or not, whether they communicate and include you, whether they keep their word or whether they maintain boundaries with the opposite s*x.
But what do most people do? They don't see the relationship as the last chance to confirm everything before signing up. They treat it like the deal itself. We're going to get married anyway.
No. You're checking whether it's safe to get married. This is the first time you have an insider view of this person's life. This is the first time they owe you loyalty. This is the first time they need to protect what you have.
This is the first time they need to separate themselves from the world and safeguard what you started.
You should watch whether they're doing those things.
Courtship is for information and insight. Not indulgence. Do not get carried away by promise rings, engagement rings or visits to the families until you forget you're at the thick of the interview.
Many people lowered their guard here. Many became single parents at this stage and their dream of marriage turned into a mirage.
Did you know that in aviation most accidents happen at landing, and in motoring most car accidents happen close to home?
The danger increases when we're almost finishing the journey because fatigue is increasing and our guard is going down.
You can save yourself these disasters by remaining vigilant to the very end. After all, when are you likely to spot the red flags someone has been carefully hiding: in month one when you started the relationship or month six when you're already planning the wedding?
(©️ Benjamin Zulu Global)
