Benjamin Zulu Global

01/02/2026

‎This may sting a little but it needs to be said.

When someone loves you they don't gamble with you because they can't afford losing you. They take every opportunity to make you feel important, appreciated, and special through considerate acts and affectionate words.

When someone doesn't love you, however, they show you that they're only tolerating you. They'll even say it verbatim that they're doing you a favor being with you.

It's because of the children or the situation or whatever. It's not their love for you.

Now, here's the question. If they're saying this to you when you're healthy and well, what will happen when you're sick and in need of support?

If they're contemptuous of you during sunshine, what will happen when storms come?

This is how married people die preventable deaths and succumb to situations that could have been salvaged. They stayed with a person who they knew didn't like them and wouldn't go out of their way to help them.

Remember the position of a spouse is the most powerful in your life. Your spouse can hold your life in their hands by simply rushing you to hospital when you're unconscious or administering first aid when you have a medical emergency. If they don't do it fast enough, you're gone.

Because of proximity alone, your partner can whisper courage or fear and take your life either upwards or downwards.

Or they could wield untold control through small acts like watching the children while you attend the life changing interview, sitting up late with you as you submit the applications.

Lastly, your spouse is the de facto backup parent to the children you cherish so much in case you were absent or incapacitated.

Given all these facts, how careful must you be with the person you allow to occupy that position?

If you know someone doesn't like you and you allow them to continue sitting in that position, you're not managing the situation or persisting to keep the marriage intact. You're risking your life and that of your generations after you.

Learn to accept people for who they are and then place them where they belong, even if that means far away from you.

(©️ Benjamin Zulu Global)

01/02/2026

‎When an affair happens people often ask the wrong question: what is missing in the union to make the person cheat? What is their partner not doing right?

This is nothing but blame shifting and placating.

The right question is what is broken inside the person who cheated?

People don't cheat when they can communicate their needs, regulate their emotions, and tolerate discomfort.

This is the key and it's what will affair-proof your marriage. Look for those traits before you commit or else you'll be risking serial cheating.

People cheat when they use external validation to regulate their emotions. Whenever they're stressed they need a shoulder to lean on. That's an open door.

People cheat when they avoid emotional intimacy. When real closeness feels threatening or too vulnerable. If they always pull away or shut down after deep and personal conversations, they'll seek to meet their needs from another person without the vulnerability.

Sometimes the only reason they cheat is because you know them. You've seen them in truth and because they're unready to grow they flee to someone who doesn't know them.

Lastly, people cheat when they never learned how to sit in dissatisfaction. When there's tension, they shut you out and start entertaining themselves with other people. Instead of speaking up, they self-soothe by stepping out.

I know you don't associate someone avoiding uncomfortable conversations with cheating. It can easily lead to it during your standoffs. You need someone who is mature enough to withstand misunderstanding and talk through issues without running.

In short, cheating comes from deficiencies and broken patterns of dealing with life and the normal challenges of a union. If the person doesn't admit these patterns, promising change and swearing their love will only be a gimmick to keep you from leaving.

If they don't admit and address the root issue, they will do it again.

(©️ Benjamin Zulu Global)

31/01/2026

Is it generosity or mischief

31/01/2026

Ladies: This is what mature men do

31/01/2026

https://youtube.com/live/I-tTnKQyLn4?feature=share

Is it generosity or mischief

31/01/2026

Use feminine energy to make him chase you

31/01/2026

What if while you're in the midst of cheating on your partner...they died? How would you live with yourself after that?

I've met people whose last interaction with their partner was regrettable. For some it was cheating but for most it was a more subtle form of hurt; neglect.

One woman said the man had been complaining about her withdrawal from the marriage as she came home late after constant overtime at work. She also varied her bedtime to avoid being with him. The truth was that she was emotionally and physically involved with a colleague and she kept the distance to hide it.

The man seemed to be holding on well according to her but on the morning that he got into a fatal accident on his way to work, the police reported that he had been crying and overdrinking. She wasn't legally guilty of anything, but morally she knew. She drove him to the edge.

Another man stayed back in the living room while his wife and kids went to bed as his habit had been, scrolling s*xual content on social media.

His wife had repeatedly complained of his coldness but he brushed it off saying he was playing his part as a responsible husband. Paying bills. Providing for the family.

He would go a whole day without calling and he didn't seem to notice that his wife's missed calls were reducing. She had been managing a heart condition that always worsened when she was stressed.

That night she didn't wake up. Paramedics found her unresponsive when the day guard found her still in bed and called the ambulance. The man had gone to work in the morning as usual, and that was the disgraceful end of their story.

What these people struggled with most was the truth that stared at them in the wake of their partner's final departure. Some of them said the sight of their partner's lifeless body seemed to condemn them. 'Is this what you've done to me? It's okay. All I did was love you and try to build you. And all you could do was stress me to death. May God be the judge.'

That condemnation was hard to shake away because it was true. Some sunk into alcoholism trying to numb the conscience.

Self forgiveness is possible, albeit with a lot of psychological work. But this is the message: we're really living on borrowed time. If you don't intend to love a person right and keep your promises, just leave them alone.

And if you wake up one day and you no longer want the union, it's better to come out clean than to start passive-aggressive torture on an innocent person.

People have health challenges and other battles of life to fight. Do not become another problem they have to deal with.

Natural justice is real. You may push them to breaking point and that will also be the end of your peace.

(©️ Benjamin Zulu Global)

31/01/2026

Ladies: Pace is your power

31/01/2026

Widowed, Wounded, and Rebuilt Love Found Me - Benjamin Zulu Global

31/01/2026

It's a red flag the moment she does this

31/01/2026

They say money doesn't buy happiness but I'll tell you what the lack of money buys.

Sleepless nights wondering where you'll get rent from. Missing opportunities and interviews because you don't have bus fare to get there.

Staying in toxic relationships because you can't afford to leave. Staying in toxic situations one year too long because you can't finance your exit.

Watching your dreams expire because survival takes all your energy. Knowing what you could achieve with a little training but you can't afford that little training.

Swallowing disrespect because you depend on the one mistreating you. Feeling trapped in jobs that drain your soul because you need them to pay your debts.

Yeah, money may not buy happiness but it buys you the power to say no to situations that insult you.

It protects your dignity and spares you from desperation.

Money buys you the freedom to live and form relationships on your terms.

Money buys you peace, which is not any different from happiness.

So yes, always decide the kind of money you want to have before you decide the kind of man you want to have.

The kind of wealth you need before you decide the kind of woman you need.

Freedom before feelings. It'll save you years of psychological torture.

(©️ Benjamin Zulu Global)

31/01/2026

People will sense your standards long before you announce them. If you have to state what you can or can't do, you're already negotiating.

Standards are not a PowerPoint presentation or rules you read out loud. Standards are evidenced by how quickly you leave, what you don't respond to, and how you don't let insulting things land in your space before you deny access.

If you say someone is pressuring you to get a child for them, something is wrong with you. You should have exited that conversation already.

If you say a woman is demanding girlfriend allowance and you're speaking in present tense, you're confused. If you were clear about your standards and non negotiables, that would have been the last time she contacted you.

Likewise, if you complain that someone has been pushing for sleepovers, moving in, or they're never accountable and remorseful when wrong, or they shift blame to you, you're the one who is lost in life.

Your standards protect you from conversations that insult your dignity.

If you ever need to state your stand on a matter that's not obvious, let it be only once. Then let the person choose to either step up or step out.

'I know there are men who take over bills and upkeep for the woman they're dating but I don't do that. I'm dating for marriage not barter trade of s*x for money. I will take care of my wife after marriage, not before. I hope we share in this perspective and if not, I'll understand and respectfully step aside.'

You never justify your honor. You don't expound your self respect.

The secret is to stop negotiating with yourself about what you deserve. That internal monologue is what other people pick on.

You should settle it now what you deserve and what you will ask of life. The world will have no choice but to adjust.

(©️ Benjamin Zulu Global)