18/03/2026
One lady said she was taking a walk in the woods one evening with a man who was interested in her. Suddenly there was a loud sound of a falling tree.
In that split second of shock, before they could figure out what it was, the man jumped behind her and pushed her slightly toward the direction of the noise.
It was instinctive but revealing. His reflex was to throw her into danger and protect himself. She did not need any more information. She cut him off completely.
Another man was on the phone with a lady he was courting for marriage when a message came in that the loan he had applied for was not approved.
He had planned to use the money to expand his business and had promised to give her a portion to inject into her own startup. Her first reaction when he read the message aloud was to ask how he would now get the money for her.
The man had enough presence of mind to walk away immediately. Many men see such red flags but are too emotionally attached to act on them.
Another man took his fiancée home for an informal introduction. She came from a different ethnic group, though both languages were Bantu and not difficult to grasp at a basic level.
On the drive back to the city, he asked if she would mind learning simple greetings. He had already learned the basics of her language. She sneered and said she would never learn it.
Shock and confusion hit him. Silence followed. He thought about it for a week and broke off the engagement.
He realized it was not about language. It was about disdain for his people. His mother was elderly, and learning a few greetings would have made things easier. But she dismissed it, saying anyone who could not speak the national language should stay away from her.
Lastly, a couple went on their first dinner date. When the bill came, the waitress placed it on the man’s side. He pushed it toward the lady. She was surprised but decided to pay and see if he would intervene.
He did not. She paid, walked away and never looked back, despite his attempts to reconnect.
These stories show one thing. If you are fortunate enough to see a glimpse of the truth before you commit, do not argue with it.
If you accept it and walk away, you will feel pain for a day. You will recover quickly.
But if you negotiate with it and downplay it, you will suffer for years in the wrong union.
Always marry through a formal process. The process itself is a free character screening.
Men have been shocked by the kind of extravagant and unreasonable weddings some women insist on. That alone has saved them from marrying materialistic and unrealistic partners.
Women have also seen men develop cold feet once formal processes begin. They postpone, delay and show up late. If it happens two or three times, you already have enough information to leave.
The truth is usually not hard to see. It is just hard to accept.
(© Benjamin Zulu Global)
