
19/12/2022
If you talk a lot, at a party, in meetings at work, with friends, everywhere; people inadvertently will start smelling your weakness and you will open yourself up to ridicule. People will start avoiding you and eventually you will lose value and influence on your teammates.
Most of human communication is non verbal. When you are focusing on talking you become self absorbed, you at times miss so much non verbal communication hints and you will appear inept, arrogant and even at times rude. You will also be easily scammed or played, since you are missing so much important information that is non verbal.
I know the world keeps telling you to "do you", to "be you", and to "be unapologetic" while at it, but there are values that will never get out of trend. Most who cheer you on when you are being self destructive will also be laughing behind your back when you make a big fool of yourself.
So, shush.
Be quiet.
Take it easy. Beat that urge to want to explain or to be defensive. Keep quiet. Watch and listen. It will take some practicing and once you do, you will be alive to so much more that you were missing previously. You will become better understood when you finally speak, you will remove prejudices that people associates you with and you will gain influence with your teammates.
If you are outgoing and that's how you are wired as an extrovert, understand that while you are perfectly normal, there are some skills that are vital for you to thrive and you need to groom and build those skills which might make you feel like you are going against who you are, but in actual sense they are not. Master self control. Deny yourself the instant gratification of over explaining.
As you sit quietly in that meeting, learn also to quieten the voices in your mind. Be present. Listen to others deliberately and keenly without looking for an urge to respond. When it's your turn, make it simple and take a moment before blurting out what's in your mind or heart. It will help you sober up and be more effective in your communication.
This goes also for social media posting. Not everything needs to be posted.
Not everything needs to be said.