11/10/2025
I cried this morning when I woke.
Urgh, Primary school! I was still 11 years old, and I had no choice but to.
At least I can go in late, though, and just daydream. I need to be here physically, not mentally. I know mom and dad will be upset because I am bottoming my class, but... I am shuttered. Suicidal as f@& #. So much emotions.
Would be nice if I could skip ahead in years to my early twenties, no more backpacks, torn uniform and shoes, "they ain't touphees ata". A P.E kit passed down to me, white rubber shoes kiwi-ed up. Pee-smelling torn bikers.
I promise, my dad travels around the world and I'm bright, it ain't vaseline.
No more kids' falsely haichaicha to my teachers (scoff) their teachers. No more teachers making a mockery of my tribe.
But drinking, filling my lungs with any smoke, self-sabotage, daydreaming into years and years, getting into relationships and situationships just cause they gave me attention for 2 seconds - my favourite part PICKING UP STRAYS FROM THE CLUB... PUB, self-sabotage, piercings and dark clothes, a relationship I don't want to be in because he extremely reminds me of primary years and all I do is victim.
still a lot of tears, I just can numb it with things and people.
Pained eyes recognise each other. A salute to everyone who got bullied
This International Day Against Bullying,
We remember: words can destroy,
But they can also rebuild.
Let’s choose empathy over ego,
and kindness over cruelty.
Wear blue. Speak life.