Dr. Kendi Ash*tiva

04/09/2025

RHEMA FEAST 2025 is literally SHIFTING THE SPIRITUAL ATMOSPHERE 😭🙌

04/09/2025

Cohort 2 are in for a fantastic month with Dr. Frida as they take a deep dive into what happens between client and therapist. The Dos and Donts of clinical work and everything they never taught you in school.

04/09/2025

It’s graduation month for Cohort 1. We are so exited to share the schedule for the month and the amazing facilitators that make the program what it is.

01/09/2025

Intense …….

WE’RE LIVING IN A FORWARDED GENERATION OF FOOLS

Men — open your damn eyes.
This isn’t growth.
It’s moral decay wearing designer and hashtags.
A generation obsessed with clout, filters, and fake value systems.
And if you’re not careful, you’ll drown right alongside them.

Let’s rip this charade apart:

1️⃣ PROSTITUTION IS NOW CALLED A HOOKUP
Women selling flesh for Uber rides, clout, and cheap hotels.
Draped in knockoff lace and fake morality.
A glorified es**rt with an iPhone.

2️⃣ CHARM IS NOW CALLED GRACE
Manipulators with fake smiles and deadly intentions.
It’s not charisma — it’s calculated deception.
And most of you fall for it.

3️⃣ BAD CHARACTER IS NOW MOOD SWINGS
No accountability. No remorse.
Just blame it on astrology, trauma, or daddy issues.
Zero discipline. Zero shame.

4️⃣ FAKE LIFE IS NOW PACKAGING
Broke, bitter, and empty inside — but on Instagram it’s champagne, Dubai flights, and plastic friendships.
Smoke and mirrors for fools to clap for.

5️⃣ A BROKE MAN IS A FAILURE. A BROKE WOMAN IS A ‘STRONG QUEEN FIGHTING DEMONS’
Same poverty, different packaging.
Selective oppression. Same struggle, but one gets pity and the other gets mocked.

6️⃣ HAPPINESS NOW DEPENDS ON DRUGS
Pills. Powders. Bottles.
Fake joy. Real destruction.
Calling it “coping” when it’s su***de in slow motion.

7️⃣ DRUNKARDS NOW CALL ADDICTION ‘DEPRESSION MANAGEMENT’
No therapy. No discipline.
Just bottles and broken promises on repeat.

8️⃣ MOLLY IS NOW THE JOY GIVER
Because building a real life takes too much backbone.
They’d rather float than fight.

9️⃣ SMOKERS CALL IT ‘TAKING THE EDGE OFF’
You’re not escaping pain.
You’re postponing it while it multiplies in the background.

🔟 CULTISM IS NOW THE BADGE OF ‘REAL MEN’
Soft, fatherless boys hiding behind gang slogans and numbers.
Because standing alone requires a spine.

1️⃣1️⃣ MONEY NOW PADDLES THE CANOE OF LOVE
No loyalty. No soul.
Just whoever can swipe the loudest card wins her time.

1️⃣2️⃣ ‘I’M THE TABLE’ IS NOW THE SLOGAN OF A LIABILITY
Zero value. Maximum demands.
Bringing nothing but attitude and baggage, claiming entitlement.

1️⃣3️⃣ OLD FRIENDS BECOME STRANGERS WHEN THE BANK BALANCE CHANGES
Brotherhood traded for envy.
Loyalty sold for followers and flex.

1️⃣4️⃣ BROTHERS NOW SELECT BROTHERS ACCORDING TO STATUS
No code. No honor.
Just fake alliances for clout.

🚨 FINAL WARNING:
This generation celebrates weakness.
Normalizes shame.
Glorifies rebellion.
And mocks men who build with discipline.

If you don’t rise above it — you’ll drown in it.

Stop clapping for clowns.
Stop dating liabilities.
Stop respecting imposters.

Build your kingdom.
Protect your name.
And leave these modern degenerates to rot in their digital graveyard.

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30/08/2025

This life no balance. Surely isn’t this a team we beat with a 10 man squad? See life now 🥺😫! Abeg……

27/08/2025

This is the story of the average woman through different generations and different timelines.

This was the story of our mothers, we saw our mothers tired, overwhelmed, humiliated under the weight of a cultural system that placed all responsibility on the success of her marriage and children on her and no accountability on her husband. We saw our mothers bear the weight of physical abuse, emotional neglect, extra marital affairs, financial neglect, children out there that they were forced to raise or acknowledge. We saw all this and quietly made inner vows or swore this will never be us. (millennials and Gen-X)

Then came our turn, we heard our mothers when they said don’t depend on men, we worked hard, got good jobs, had the assets and secret accounts and married men we felt we connected with and men who swore to be nothing like their fathers. Ghafla bin vuu 😳, same script different cast, but we said we are not taking this crap, we chose “ourselves “ not knowing the full meaning of choosing yourself! We went for separation and divorce and decided it’s better to raise kids on our own than take this sh!*t 🤬 and I completely understand that. However since we were the first to divorce or separate, nobody told us the emotional trauma, the weight of divorce and separation, the legal battles, the co-parenting hurdles. Remember our mothers stayed, we left! All this is new for us. Sema T for tough!

However, what I have come to observe as a behavioral scientist, is we have become our mothers. Emotionally and physically exhausted 😩 at being single and having to take care of ourselves and the children we love so dearly. Even if divorce and separation was what was best for us, it is absolutely exhausting!

Life is too exhausting for any adult to do alone! Partnership was GOD’s brilliant design to help us navigate life more favorably. I am persuaded now more than ever, it is NOT GOOD for a man to be alone, and WOMEN NEED HELP. Men and Women need each other, JUST NOT ANY VERSION of each other.

Women all over the world are absolutely exhausted trying to do it alone. I think we need help, I think we need loving reliable masculine help that doesn’t activate our nervous system and force us to self preserve. When you ask me what women need, I will tell you, we need consistent, loving, reliable, men on our side. Not perfect men because those don’t exist, but men who have trained themselves to constantly grow in their love for the woman they choose to spend the rest of their lives with.

Many women are slowly crushing, nervous system constantly on overdrive, fully on survival mode out here but calling it living our best life online! Isssa lie 😭! We need HELP, we were not made to do all this on our own. Many women are exhausted 😩! Emotionally spent and exhausted! What we called independent is actually killing us and is against GOD’s order and against our feminine make up. Women are simply exhausted 😩!

Indeed there is NOTHING NEW UNDER THE SUN😩…..

Musings of a Practising Therapist,
Dr. Kendi Ash*tiva.

13/08/2025

For every ADDICTION there is normally;

1. A ROOT CAUSE mainly unknown or unprocessed psychological trauma.

2. An ENABLER. Someone who thinks they are helping the addict by keeping the peace but really they are stopping the addict from experiencing the discomfort they need to confront the real issue, refer to number 1.

3. IDLENESS (work is a gift, especially meaningful work)- Perpetual idleness leads to loss of meaning in life!

4. A REWARD- This may be a physical reward, an emotional one, a financial or psychological reward. All behavior that is rewarded is repeated! That’s just the brain for you. So check what REWARD the addict is getting from the addiction.

5. Knowledge of RISKS associated with the addiction. People think addicts don’t know what they are doing is wrong! They do! So stop telling them how bad this drug is for their health, they know, they just don’t care for it. Refer to number 4, the REWARD is louder than the RISK.

6. Desire to stop but CAN NOT STOP. You only qualify for the term addict when you actually want to stop but you cannot due to the dopamine hijack that has happened! You are no longer in control of the drug, it’s in control of you! Tough Times 😫

7. Continued exposure to the RISKS associated with the addiction.

Every addict thought they were in control until they were not. Any one of us can be an addict because Addiction is basically an escape from one thing to another. Even good things can be addictive! So accept life can be tough, build strength and support! You will need it.

Call my office on 0718 227 440 or book a session on our website today www.niskize.co.ke

Musings of a Practising Therapist ,
Dr. Kendi Ash*tiva.

11/08/2025

When the battle has ended and you have survived, remember to take off all that armor so you can live and love freely again. 'Staying vulnerable is a risk we have to take if we want to experience connection and feel life.' Brene Brown.

08/08/2025

Always SEPARATE YOUR IDENTITY FROM YOUR EXPERIENCES.

You are NOT YOUR TRAUMA.

You are NOT YOUR SEXUAL ABUSE.

You are NOT YOUR DIVORCE.

You are NOT YOUR ABANDONMENT.

You are NOT YOUR GRIEF.

You are NOT THAT AFFAIR.

These are experiences, very painful ones but they are never to be mistaken for Identity. You are who you say you are. You are NOT WHAT YOUR PROBLEMS say you are. You ARE NOT YOUR MISTAKES my dear.

Never ever make an identity out of your experiences, nor let anyone identify you only by your experiences. For years I owned my trauma like a badge of honor, thinking that’s what healing looks like! I was wrong! I am not my trauma! I am not what happened to me!

Do not confuse processing trauma with owning trauma. We process trauma, which means we put language, meaning, and understanding to the trauma so we can rewire the brain and take back the power that the traumatic experience had on us, but we don’t own it.

Healing happens during and after processing the trauma. Healing is a process of acknowledging what happened to you, taking responsibility for your part of it, forgiving yourself and others. Learning from your mistakes and MOVING ON as A NEW WISER HUMAN BEING.

I love how the Bible puts it, it says “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.”
‭‭II Corinthians‬ ‭5‬:‭17‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

In psychology we say while the past is fixed, the future is always dynamic and can be created. Everyday you create your future, you cannot blame your past for your future. Your future is completely in your hands.

Childhood Trauma is no excuse for a bad life, it’s an explanation but not an excuse. Again do not let your past define you.

Separate YOUR EXPERIENCES FROM YOUR IDENTITY.

YOU ARE NOT YOUR EXPERIENCES!

Musings of a Practising Therapist,
Dr. Kendi Ash*tiva.