18/08/2024
From the village girl
Thee is this dude in my village who owns a Mobius. This slightly light Human thinks he is the next best thing after the son of man and broadways Bread respectively. I have heard stories about this XY chromosome and how he likes to 'jump line' at the carwash because in his eyes, only his Mobius exists.
I have treated those stories as rumors until today.
There I was, waiting patiently for my Harrier to be washed. Oh, small detail- my Kadudu identifies as a harrier. Anyway where was I? There I was at the parking lot, patiently counting my stomach stretch marks as I waited for my Harrier to be bathed. I was third in line.
Punde si punda, XY chromosome of Mobius enters the carwash crazily like a man who has been greeted by a porcupine. Next thing I know, His feet touch earth, chromosome is wearing those navy blue velvet flat shoes. The minute I see those shoes, the bullsh*t-nometor in my head rises from normal to bright red.
XY chromosome of velvet shoes tip toes to the manager while pointing at him with his car keys. I can't really hear what they are talking about but chromosome of velvet shoes is throwing hands in the air and the manager is calling the guy who washes my harrier.
Punde si punda, guy of my harrier starts walking up to me. Me I continue scratching my stretch marks with one eye closed. The other eye is opened because I can already feel like kwina ngoma irathiururuka guku. Car wash bends to talk to me. He tells me that I should allow Mobius to be bathed first because guy of velvet is in a hurry.
Before I open my mouth to offer my public participation views on the matter, gentromens of velvet shoes points at me and says " mwambie arudi Nyuma". So now, I'm wearing this look of confusion while maintaining beauty. So now, I'm beginning to breathe heavily like a married man in Sabina Joy. So now, I can feel my ears ringing hot and my butt cheeks growing cold.
Why?
Anyway,
I didn't make noise. I just removed my head outside the car window and stared
