24/09/2025
Avoiding conflict doesn’t mean you’re weak. It can be a natural way of protecting yourself from pain and stress.
But if avoidance continues, unspoken hurt can build up, walls may grow higher, and even precious relationships can begin to feel distant.
So how can you start? Here are a few gentle steps you might try.
𝟏. 𝐋𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐢𝐧𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝
Ask yourself: ‘What emotions did I feel in that moment?’ (Anxiety, frustration, disappointment…) ‘Why did I want to avoid it?’ (fear of being hurt, rejected, or making things worse) Naming your emotions helps you see your patterns more clearly.
𝟐. 𝐏𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧
Try saying, “I felt … when …” instead of “You always…”. And when listening, resist interrupting—then check back: “Do you mean …?” This simple shift can make the other person feel respected.
𝟑. 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐬
Practice working things out in simple situations—like choosing a meal or planning the weekend. Try saying, “I see it a little differently,” or “How about we do what you prefer today and what I’d like next time?” Through these small adjustments, you can gradually build confidence in facing bigger conflicts.
𝟒. 𝐒𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐢𝐟 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐝
If it feels too heavy to handle alone, a counselor can help you explore your patterns and practice new ways of connecting.
Conflict isn’t always something to avoid—sometimes it’s a chance to deepen a relationship. Trust your heart, and take that first small step forward.
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