Dr. Marcel de Roos, Psychologist PhD therapist

Dr. Marcel de Roos, Psychologist PhD therapist Dr Marcel de Roos is a Psychologist PhD from the Netherlands with a private practice in Colombo Sri Lanka. Many of my clients are expats and foreigners. etc.)

Hi, I am dr. Marcel de Roos (Psychologist PhD, the Netherlands with more than 30 years of experience) and I have a general psychology practice in a residential area in Nugegoda (see my website www.marcelderoos.com for an elaborate route description). My practice is located in my house in comfortable, confidential surroundings and not in public impersonal hospitals. Living in Sri Lanka now for sixteen years, being Dutch myself and married to my Sri Lankan wife Manjula I can relate to the issues that expats encounter. I work with adults (expat issues, marriage counselling, depression, anxiety, s*xual problems, addictions, LGBTQ-related issues, trauma therapy, stress, personal development, giving meaning to your life, how to build self-esteem, choosing a profession and career advice, social issues, etc. and with children (teenager counselling, study related problems, personal and social issues, etc.). Furthermore I give (onsite) individual coaching for CEO's, higher management, entrepreneurs and executives (confidential personal issues, leadership issues, career development, work stress, etc.). Please visit my website www.marcelderoos.com for more information about myself and how I work. I am affiliate psychologist with:

- the United States Embassy in Colombo for visiting American citizens, for Embassy staff members and I conduct psychological assessments of US citizens on behalf of the U.S. Social Security Administration.

- UNHCR Sri Lanka, for refugees until their resettlement abroad.

- Workplace Options (www.workplaceoptions.com) for their Sri Lankan clients. For them I provide Employee Assistance Program (EAP) services for employees and family members. Confidentiality is most important to me. What is said in therapy is very private and it stays private. One of the methods I use is to work with feelings, behaviour and thoughts; in the present and in the past. The end result is a more balanced personality. Other methods I use are for example:

- elements of short-term psychodynamic therapy

- elements of cognitive behaviour therapy

- elements of emotionally focused couple therapy


Although I am not a big proponent of administering drugs for mental illnesses like depression and anxiety, in some cases it can be useful. Depression has everything to do with FEELING depressed. Since depression is about stuck emotions, it makes sense to treat it from that angle. Psychiatrists and other medical doctors are generally speaking not trained in conducting and understanding research. Psychologists on the other hand, have to undergo a stringent and extensive schooling regarding research (on my website www.marcelderoos.com you can read articles about typical differences between psychologists and psychiatrists). Not only plain “statistics” like multiple regression analysis but more about the art of how to set up proper research studies and how to “read” them. Research is difficult; you need to have an extremely critical mindset. There exists no "chemical imbalance in the brain" and this and the "serotonin reuptake" story (people are encouraged to believe that depression is caused by a deficiency of serotonin as in the analogy with diabetes and insulin) are just clever marketing concoctions of the pharmaceutical industry, there is no scientific medical proof. We know for some twenty years that antidepressants do not outperform placebo (see for example www.joannamoncrieff.com and Kirsch, 1998). On top of that antidepressants have a whole list of (possible) side-effects, of which weight gain and s*xual dysfunctions (not a pleasant thing when you're already depressed) are the most common ones; for both genders for example reduced libido and delayed or blocked or**sm and for men difficulty in having an er****on. For more information please read in the articles on my website www.marcelderoos.com. With extreme rare illnesses like bipolar depression (if correctly diagnosed!) and schizophrenia medication is paramount. As I always tell my clients, whenever they want to stop with medication it's very important to do this under medical supervision. The consultations can take place face to face, by phone or online (WhatsApp, Zoom, FaceTime, etc.). If you wish to change a scheduled appointment, it’s important that you provide at least 24 hours advance notice, in order to avoid being charged for the session. Appointments cancelled within this 24-hour window will be charged at the full rate. My practice is open from Tuesday till Saturday from 8 AM till 7 PM. Sundays and Mondays are my days off. Appointments can be made by mail, text message or by phone. During the sessions I don't answer phone calls but I always call back in the 10 minutes breaks in between the sessions. Phone: 077-2310869
Email: marcel.deroos@yahoo.com
Website: www.marcelderoos.com

THE ART OF LIVING: HOW ANCIENT WISDOM CAN ENRICH YOUR LIFE.By Dr Marcel de Roos, Psychologist PhD, the Netherlandswww.ma...
29/01/2026

THE ART OF LIVING: HOW ANCIENT WISDOM CAN ENRICH YOUR LIFE.
By Dr Marcel de Roos, Psychologist PhD, the Netherlands
www.marcelderoos.com

In the Greek and Greek-Roman ethics the emphasis was on the personal choice, the moral behaviour and the relationship towards yourself and initially also towards the city-state (this changed later). When you read Plato, Socrates, Seneca and others, it’s clear that the Greeks and Romans hardly cared about the future, about what happened to them after their death, or about the existence of the Gods.

Their challenge was which “techne” (knowledge) they needed to master, in order to live their lives as best as they could. It was about to live according to specific values in order to emulate certain examples, build a reputation, and make your life meaningful. Philosophers were searching for that knowledge, the art of living, which could be used to fulfil this quest.

In classical antiquity there were many philosophical systems. Quite a few of them have found protagonists in modern times. Especially Stoicism from for example Marcus Aurelius, Seneca and Epictetus is nowadays encouraged in numerous popular self-help books.

But it’s a rather pessimistic and strict philosophy, which doesn’t encourage the same joie de vivre as for example the Epicurians or even better Aristotle. The Stoics propagate the suppression of emotions and bodily desires. It encourages the practitioner to acquiesce in adverse situations, instead of an active practical involvement with everyday life with all of its fascinating challenges which need solutions. It doesn’t leave much space for hope, human intervention and it focuses on accepting human suffering.

While the Epicurians encouraged people to let go of their ambitions for power and glory and live an undisturbed existence with friendship and the simple pleasures of life, Aristotle wrote for people who were fully and enthusiastically committed to their community and who based their moral choices, healthy pleasures and happiness on their lived-through experiences according to his guidelines.

Aristotle’s ethical system is versatile, flexible, and practically applicable in our daily life. It’s not dogmatic, he states that we continuously should be open for revision of our opinions. His leitmotifs are dealing with the situation at hand, forward planning, an unrelenting focus on intentions, flexibility, practical sense, common sense, individual autonomy and the importance of consultations with others.

Aristotle states that you can DECIDE to become happier, after some time the correct behaviour will become a habit, and you will experience “eudaimonia”, his concept of happiness. It stands for an activity and not for a state of being. And it’s not about materialistic prosperity but more in the sense of happiness of the soul, achieved by an active rational mind which aspires to fulfil your potential. Also, you shouldn’t suppress your emotions, but take them into consideration for your decisions.

Regarding virtues and vices, Aristotle’s principle of the golden mean signifies that there is a right balance in between extremes. A moderate form of personal qualities is preferable. People who are risk-averse live a limited life, having strong anger issues makes you difficult in social situations, ignoring truth and refraining from expressing joy or pain makes you psychologically and emotionally stunted.

An Aristotelian thinker lives in a social community (for example family, neighbourhood, or friends), makes moral choices, thinks rationally, indulges in healthy pleasures, and cultivates happiness in himself and in others.

Marcel de Roos psychologist with practice in Colombo Sri Lanka (corporate) coaching online counselling.

CONTEXT MATTERS!By dr Marcel de Roos, Psychologist PhD, the Netherlandswww.marcelderoos.comWith diagnosing clients, ther...
03/01/2026

CONTEXT MATTERS!
By dr Marcel de Roos, Psychologist PhD, the Netherlands
www.marcelderoos.com

With diagnosing clients, there are two ways of operating: a psychiatric or a psychological manner. The psychiatrists bible, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM, fifth edition), describes the classification criteria for putting psychiatric labels on patients. Psychological assessment is quite different. Psychologists are also trained to diagnose and treat mental disorders but they focus on the root causes and the whole story behind the symptoms.

For example, a client of mine had been “diagnosed” as “bipolar” because of the mood swing symptoms she spoke about. She had been prescribed heavy dosages of lithium and mood stabilisors. This, while totally ignoring the bigger picture that was there and which thoroughly explained her symptoms. A significant part of the context was peer-pressure at school and parental pressure (“95 isn’t good enough, what happened to the last 5?”). These and other factors led to low self-esteem, anxiety, sky-high expectations of herself and a constant feeling of not being good enough. Similar examples can be given with “ADHD”, “Borderline” and other “disorders”.

The DSM-5 is an arbitrary DESCRIPTIVE psychiatric classification system, in essence based upon the work of Kraepelin (1856-1926), with little diagnostic value (see for example Stijn Vanheule: Diagnosis and the DSM, a critical review). The described labels are scientifically and clinically untrustworthy (they are not reliable and not valid) and they describe symptoms with no biomarkers. Although with all DSM-5 pseudo-medical classifications (“disorders”), the underlying assumption is that they are biological or genetical (like Kraepelin had hoped to discover), there exists no medical or scientific evidence of these assumed genetic/biological causes.

In the psychological-diagnostical process it’s NOT only about one individual but also about the CONTEXT wherein this individual lives. While with the disorder-narrative the focus is on the symptoms of the individual person who has a “disorder”. Which totally disregards the social context (family, school, friends, colleagues, neighbourhood, etc.) and the individual history. These factors can play a decisive role in the development and in possible solutions of the problems.

In his book “On being normal and other disorders: a manual for clinical psychodiagnostics” the Belgium psychologist prof. Dr. Verhaeghe discusses the differences between the two diagnostic processes. One difference is that unlike with the medical diagnostic process, in the psychodiagnostical process it’s NOT about one individual but also about the environment wherein this individual lives. The diagnosis usually doesn’t come at once, but much later after more sessions and very often it will be adjusted.

Another difference is that in the medical model one works from the individual person to generalised diseases. The objective symptoms (high temperature, muscle pains, etc.) leads to the conclusion of fever (a very common condition, N=millions). Psychologists on the contrarily start with a general story and end with N=1. Mental conditions are typically very individual and are extremely difficult to generalise. The psychologist listens and gathers more subjective information in its specific context.

What works well with symptoms related to physical illnesses doesn’t necessary goes with mental illnesses. Although medication can have its benefits in certain cases, it's preferable to listen to the whole story of the client, determine the root causes of client's present issues and treat those with an effective form of individual psychotherapy that covers the present, past, emotions, cognition and behaviour.

Marcel de Roos psychologist with practice in Colombo Sri Lanka (corporate) coaching online counselling.

SHAME.By Dr Marcel de Roos, Psychologist PhD, The Netherlandswww.marcelderoos.comIn the Lucky Luke (“the man who shoots ...
03/11/2025

SHAME.
By Dr Marcel de Roos, Psychologist PhD, The Netherlands
www.marcelderoos.com

In the Lucky Luke (“the man who shoots faster than his shadow”) comic book “A cure for the Daltons”, the hilarious Austrian psychologist, Professor Dr. Otto von Himbeergeist goes to the United States’ Wild West, and tries to cure the notorious Dalton gang brothers from their criminal activities. He uses psychoanalysis where by means of asking a shame-evoking question about their childhood, the persons tell him their entire life story and they subsequently burst out in tears.

In the psychoanalytic literature, shame is often mentioned in the same breath as guilt. This, because both emotions are linked with the experience of emotional suffering and both can lead to enormous inhibitions. Guilt is what you actually have done (behaviour), while shame has to do with how you judge yourself as a person. When you feel guilty, you can try to correct aspects of what you have done, but with shame it’s almost impossible. Therefore shame is far more damaging than guilt.

In everyday life, there is often an overlap between shame and guilt. Many people get confused because they perceive that feeling about something, thinking and fantasising are the same as acting upon it. When you invent a perfect plan to rob a bank, you are of course not guilty. When you fantasise about having s*x with that person you saw in a shop you don’t have to feel shameful. When somebody feels guilty without shame, it signifies positive self-worth: “I can learn from my mistake and become a better person”. But feeling ashamed without guilt (you haven’t done anything) about having s*xual fantasies can be experienced as extremely self-deprecating: “I don’t have self-control regarding my low lusts”. When shame is dominant then the therapist focuses on the vulnerable and low self-image, and where it stems from in the client’s childhood.

Shame coexists with anger and hostility towards ourselves. As a result, shame tends to be disastrous: people show more non-constructive behaviour related to the management of their anger. Their sense of self-worth is extremely low and there is a strong relationship with depression. Shame is not a result of the actual gaze of another person to ourselves, but through our own gaze how we look at ourselves through the eyes of the other person. The eyes of the other person are nothing but the internalised images of the erstwhile gazes of our parents.

Abused women can experience shame because they realise that they can be beaten and scolded without consequences for the perpetrator. Some abused women stay with their partner, while some leave after the first slap. When you feel ashamed for being beaten up and the subsequent anger that is caused by shame, is being directed towards yourself in the form of self-devaluation, then you will experience the abuse as “justified”. Therefore it’s imperative that there is a safe and trustworthy therapeutic relationship with the therapist. The client should be able to feel safe enough to tell the real story (plus the root causes), without the risk of feeling humiliated again.

Psychodynamic therapy can uncover the unconscious shame that is manifested by overt inhibitions. Childhood memories can emerge about the poignant feelings related to traumatic experiences. Therapy can reduce the paralysing weight of shame and can result in a liberating effect, and the clients will be able to think and feel without the excruciating and debilitating shame.

Marcel de Roos psychologist with practice in Colombo Sri Lanka (corporate) coaching online counselling.

PSYCHODYNAMIC PSYCHOTHERAPY: THE GOLDEN ROAD.By Dr Marcel de Roos, Psychologist PhD, the Netherlandswww.marcelderoos.com...
12/10/2025

PSYCHODYNAMIC PSYCHOTHERAPY: THE GOLDEN ROAD.
By Dr Marcel de Roos, Psychologist PhD, the Netherlands
www.marcelderoos.com

Our existence as human beings is about trying to live with a constant stream of feelings, numerous thoughts and physical sensations. On top of that, we are able to reflect on our past, present and future. But our past can be an interference that impedes a functional life, and some people are even not aware that they are hindered by unsolved aspects of their past.

Psychodynamic psychotherapy explores such obstacles and tries to assist people to regain their freedom and their meaningfulness. It gives few answers but asks a lot of questions. Psychodynamic psychotherapy is not an American-like gospel, centred on the cult of positive thinking, nor a superficial and here-and-now cognitive behaviour therapy variant. It’s a way of thinking and questioning where positive thinking fails, why are my intentions and resolutions unsuccessful, why am I making promises that invariably nose-dive and result in depressed feelings and self-blame?

Psychodynamic psychotherapy has a rich history, starting of course with Sigmund Freud, but there are many others (like the esoteric Carl Jung, the social ethical Alfred Adler, the philosophical Jacques Lacan, etc.) who started in the Freudian parent church, but later developed their own theories. Nowadays, there are multiple major psychodynamic approaches, plus there is an amalgamation with knowledge from other sciences like memory research, neurobiological explanations and biological attachment theories.

Psychodynamic psychotherapy is not about giving “logical advice”, or about “changing your irrational thoughts”. A stressed, tense and perfectionistic person already knows the advice that a friend or relative would give: stop stressing, relax more, stop having high demands for yourself, and allow yourself to make mistakes. A psychodynamic therapist isn’t looking for solutions, but poses a lot of questions, and realises that rational answers don’t explain the root causes of behaviour. It’s much more important which emotions (often from our past!) play a role because these influence behaviour.

Previous experiences in our past generate an emotional basis for present cognitive beliefs. During childhood and puberty, the relationships with father, mother, siblings, and other important contributors have a significant impact on how we develop our personalities. The psychodynamic therapist looks for the individual significance that someone gives to his behaviour or emotions, by repeatedly questioning what the client tells and give another interpretation of something apparently self-evident for the client.

Guilt and shame are very strong emotions, which very often play an important role in our present behaviour. Shame is about who you ARE, guilt is about what you DO. Shame has to do with your identity, with who you are. Guilt has to do with what you think, feel or do. A strong tendency to feel guilty feeds your inner critic by keeping yourself responsible. Guilt is less damaging than shame, with guilt you feel bad about what you have done, but not about yourself. A strong tendency to feel ashamed feeds your inner critic with self-devaluation. When you always attribute an incident to your personal weaknesses or shortcoming then it can become a negative self-fulfilling prophecy. It's a well-known fact that a high level of shame and depression are related.

By taking ownership of your strong negative feelings about yourself, you can slowly go deeper and realise WHY these feelings are there and what really causes them to manifest themselves. The deeper cause of shame often lies in the childhood family situation where experiences of one or both parents being condescending, scornful, abusive or negative towards you. It’s important to make the emotional link between present emotions and where they are rooted. Allowing yourself to feel these emotions is the first step to recovery.

Marcel de Roos psychologist with practice in Colombo Sri Lanka (corporate) coaching online counselling.

WHY DO I KEEP CHOOSING TOXIC PARTNERS?By Dr Marcel de Roos, Psychologist PhD, the Netherlandswww.marcelderoos.comWhat do...
01/09/2025

WHY DO I KEEP CHOOSING TOXIC PARTNERS?
By Dr Marcel de Roos, Psychologist PhD, the Netherlands
www.marcelderoos.com

What do we do when we often find ourselves in a relationship with someone who seems to have abusive tendencies? We can try to understand this person, what’s wrong with him or her. Does this person comes from an abusive family, has an unhealthy attachment style, unresolved childhood traumas, is it a narcissist or suffering from other mental issues?

A better way is to ask yourself why you repeatedly tolerate people who are emotionally not available, who push you away, or who actively abuse you. Perhaps you are reaffirming something that feels similar, familiar. It could very well be that growing up your parents have mistreated you, like a very controlling and abusive mother, or a distant father. The relationship with your partner might not be great, but since it feels familiar, your subconscious will often prefer it.

There exist this fairy tale that you first have to love yourself before you should start a relationship. But romantic relationships are par eminence a place where we can grow, by confronting repetitive hurtful triggers and learning to cope with them in a different way. We humans are relational beings, we need others to make us feel safe.

Relationships mirror us to find out where we need more healing. Because romantic relationships are so close and intense, they resemble the family relationships we grew up with, including all the problems and traumatic experiences. In our present romantic relationships we have to deal with being vulnerable, getting hurt, fights, compromises, boundaries. They can trigger us to experience unhealthy patterns and root causes in our past family life. This is painful but it also gives us an opportunity to reflect, grow and change our current behaviour.

As a side note, no parent is perfect and babies and children need to get used to living in an imperfect world. The British paediatrician and psychotherapist Donald Winnicot phrased the concept of “good enough parenting”. A person develops a “true self” when it has learnt to feel seen, and as good enough. On the contrary, a “false self” signifies only surface confidence and adjustment to the outside world, but it lacks passion and meaningfulness.

And regarding choices we make, the writer Milan Kundera explains vividly in his book “Testaments betrayed”, that we all walk in a fog. But when we look back to judge people’s past then you don’t see that fog, only a clear path. So it’s important to practice kindness, empathy and understanding towards others and towards ourselves.

We can easily hide our struggles for others, and even for ourselves, but not in close relationships. We can find healing and inner peace through relationships, as long as we are aware about our patterns in behaviour and emotions, and we think of how we can change these. We can learn to notice certain triggers, where they are related to, and we can choose to react in a different way. It usually has to do with deeper emotions (and to a lesser extent with a rational insight) which connect with older patterns and experiences from our family relationships in our childhood and teenage years.

Marcel de Roos psychologist with practice in Colombo Sri Lanka (corporate) coaching online counselling.

EXISTENTIAL QUESTIONS: MEANINGFULNESS, LIFE AND DEATH.By Dr Marcel de Roos, Psychologist PhD, The Netherlandswww.marceld...
13/08/2025

EXISTENTIAL QUESTIONS: MEANINGFULNESS, LIFE AND DEATH.
By Dr Marcel de Roos, Psychologist PhD, The Netherlands
www.marcelderoos.com

Many of my clients, after having spoken about their more imminent issues, often mention existential concerns like choices in their life, how to live and the impermanence of life.

One of my favourite authors is the American existential psychotherapist / psychiatrist Irvin Yalom. In his book “Love’s executioner and other tales of psychotherapy” (and more in detail in his book “Existential psychotherapy”) he writes about his existential perspective. Yalom asserts that in order to discover the fundamental truths of our existence one should make time to reflect. That means personal reflection in silence, solitude and exclusion of distractions (no phone, music, TV, people). By doing so, we can get deeper and experience personal emotions and thoughts. This is not the same as meditating where the aim is often “to quiet the monkey mind”, whereas self-reflection is about confronting your thoughts and especially your emotions.

Yalom differentiates four ultimate concerns which individuals are confronted with in their existential dynamic conflict: death, freedom, isolation and meaninglessness. By confronting these existential truths they can be vessels for personal change and growth.

- Death is the only guarantee we have in life. When we are young we usually hardly think of it because we are so involved with creating and managing our lives, and death seems far away. When we get older, we typically seek solace with rationalising death or we follow a spiritual or religious path. We know about death intellectually, but we tend to dissociate from the terror that comes with the notion of death. But being fully aware of death and accepting it enhances our wisdom and it gives depth to our lives…
- Although we often think of freedom as an unequivocally positive concept, freedom signifies that one is responsible for one’s own choices, life design and actions. It also means that we as humans become very anxious with the absence of any existing structure, and we have to deal with nothingness, which feels like a void, an abyss. The answer lies in taking ownership and make a decision to act.
- Existential isolation is fundamental in the sense of an unbridgeable gap between ourselves and others (even if you’re in a deeply gratifying relationship). Each of us enters life alone and we must depart from it alone. Our wish for contact, protection, our wish to be part of something larger, tries to cover up our awareness of our fundamental isolation. Although there is no solution for existential isolation, we must find our own way to make peace with it.
- Many people seek therapy because they feel empty and search for meaningfulness. Life in itself has no meaning, you’re born and you die, but we can give meaning to our individual lives. Why do we live, how to live, there is no readymade map for us, so we have to construct our own meaning in life. Meaningfulness is a by-product of engagement and commitment, and it can’t be found rationally. Meaning should be searched implicitly, it results from activities where one feels involved with. The outcome often surprises us because there is no rational explanation for it.

As a psychologist it’s a prerequisite to be able to tolerate uncertainty. Clients’ experiences are unique and there are no standard answers. Therapists should refrain from embracing rigid ideological schools and therapeutic systems. Effective therapy lies often in the unexpected and spontaneous conversations.

Marcel de Roos psychologist with practice in Colombo Sri Lanka (corporate) coaching online counselling.

WEIGHT GAIN, BODY IMAGE AND EMOTIONS.By Dr Marcel de Roos, Psychologist PhD, the Netherlandswww.marcelderoos.comQuite a ...
17/07/2025

WEIGHT GAIN, BODY IMAGE AND EMOTIONS.
By Dr Marcel de Roos, Psychologist PhD, the Netherlands
www.marcelderoos.com

Quite a few clients that I speak have weight issues, and they tell me they have gone to every gym in town, tried out every diet but had only short lived success, if any success at all. The programs they are following are usually based on setting goals, perseverance and willpower. These are bound to fail, and all that results is at best only temporary weight loss, the well-known yo-yo effect. The body image will become very destructive and negative.

What is missing here is the all-important role of our emotions. People overeat for reasons and these are usually emotional. We sometimes seem to forget the massive influence (this is of course highly simplified) that our amygdala and limbic system have on our behaviour. Besides striving to maintain a lifestyle of moderate exercise and a moderate healthy diet, the real crux lies at finding out the root causes of our overeating and dealing with them.

As with any addiction it’s not what you use nor your behaviour itself, but the fact that you can’t seem to stop it. What makes you continue overeating and why can’t you stop? The reason is that the addictive behaviour has an important purpose: it keeps us away from the underlying emotional pain. We try to alleviate this original pain with our addiction and in this manner we escape from the unconscious truth which we don’t want to face. There are many behaviours that can be used to deal with the original pain: gambling, eating disorders, p**n, extreme cleaning, OCD, extreme exercising, workaholic behaviour, etc.

Addictions can originate from childhood experiences or to a lesser extent from later in life. An emotionally confident parent will respond to the needs of a child and makes it feel safe. The child’s nervous system will relax and the child learns to regulate its emotions. When parents are stressed, depressed, absent, unable to handle emotions or abusive, there is no safety and the child will search for other ways to deal with this. Addictive behaviour releases pleasant and rewarding hormones which makes you feel (at that moment) comforted. We try to fill up a void that arose because we didn’t get the care and attention that we needed. The addiction gives us consolation, like a surrogate mother that we never had.

The road to recovery lies in fostering curiosity regarding root causes, making effort to get insight in those, articulate the recently acquired awareness in a new light, and above all start to experience feelings related to the root causes. With each fresh attempt a different layer becomes bare, it typically takes many non-linear sequences to process tainted experiences, and usually with small steps forwards and backwards.

It’s NOT about using our willpower to stop the addiction or to get used to better routines, these are only superficial remedies which won’t deal with the root causes. The addiction serves a goal: to fill in a void, by facing those feelings you become aware of the painful past experiences. Many people have blocked memories in order not to feel the pain. Healing means that the connection with your past needs to be emotional and not only rational. In addition, the past should be worked through several times by means of connecting with emotions, and from different perspectives.

Marcel de Roos psychologist with practice in Colombo Sri Lanka (corporate) coaching online counselling.

DREAM INTERPRETATION ACCORDING TO FREUD AND JUNG.By Dr Marcel de Roos, Psychologist PhD, the Netherlands www.marcelderoo...
29/06/2025

DREAM INTERPRETATION ACCORDING TO FREUD AND JUNG.
By Dr Marcel de Roos, Psychologist PhD, the Netherlands
www.marcelderoos.com

According to Sigmund Freud (1856–1939) dreams are the expression of our unconscious mind. In his book “The interpretation of dreams” (1900), he wrote about the significance of dreams. Dreams are symbolic, and they mirror the subjectivity of the dreamer, and they are a manifestation of her psychological language. So a dream has a hidden message, but only within the life story of the dreamer herself.

Freud believed that dreams are encrypted messages from our unconscious. He thought that every dream conceals repressed desires. In his theory we keep these suppressed needs out of our consciousness during daytime, but at night the door pries open. The self-imposed censorship is then less controlling, and desires can emerge in an encoded fashion.

In his theory, there are two versions of each dream. The manifest dream is the dream as it was dreamt and retold: usually a peculiar sequence of events. But behind this manifest dream exists a concealed, second meaning: the latent dream. By means of interpretation and analysis (like a puzzle) it’s possible to translate the manifest dream into the original latent meaning. According to Freud it’s needed to divide the dream into individual elements, and by means of free association with these separate elements you notice new images. Eventually you’ll see all kinds of cross connections and similarities which can be reduced to one core idea: the latent significance.

Jung (1875-1961) was a Swiss psychiatrist with a great interest in Freud’s psychoanalytic method. He met the twenty year older Freud in 1907 and started working with him. Freud regarded the intelligent and gifted Jung as his successor as head of the international psychoanalytic movement. But the two men differed about the theory of psychoanalysis and they eventually didn’t get along on a personal level either. They broke up and Jung developed his own theory: the analytic psychology.

Where dreams are concerned, Jung accepted Freud’s approach that the manifest content of dreams stems from events in recent days and from childhood, but Jung believed that there is a third source, belonging to the evolutionary history of our species, which he called the collective unconscious. Moreover, contrarily to Freud, Jung believed that the forbidden wishes manifesting themselves in dreams weren’t predominantly s*xual in nature, but much wider. Dreams could also be seen for example in the light of wishes for a healthier psychological future. Jungian therapy and dream analysis differs significantly from Freud’s ideas. It goes beyond the scope of this article to go deeper into this, and Jung’s style of writing is often complex, demanding and requires constant attention from the reader.

Within the regular psychotherapy, dream analysis is considered to be outdated and the use of it in the treatment process is limited. Only in specialised psychoanalytic therapy, dreams are an integrated part of the treatment. They offer a unique insight to the personality of the dreamer. But Freud’s idea that there is only one interpretation of a dream has disappeared. A dream has endless interpretations, but the interpretation that the patient and therapist jointly share, has an impact on the course of a therapy. The manifest content of a dream and how that relates to the life story of the patient has significance. Dreams show that our psyche has less known elements and that the human mind is much richer and more complex than we think it is.

Marcel de Roos psychologist with practice in Colombo Sri Lanka (corporate) coaching online counselling.

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29 Chapel Road
Pita Kotte
10250

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Hi, I am Dr Marcel de Roos (Psychologist PhD, the Netherlands with more than 25 years of experience) and I have a general psychology practice in a residential area in Ethul Kotte. It’s located in my house in comfortable, confidential surroundings and not in public impersonal hospitals.

It’s a big colonial style house with ample parking space close to the main road (Kotte Road), right above Beddagana Wetland Park and next to the Kotte Archaeological Museum. It’s easily accessible from Colombo Centre, Rajagirya, Battaramulla, Nugegoda, Colombo 7 and Colombo 5.

Many of my clients are expats and foreigners. Living in Sri Lanka now for seven years, being Dutch myself and married to my Sri Lankan wife Manjula I can relate to the issues that expats encounter. I work with adults (expat issues, marriage counselling, depression, anxiety, s*xual problems, addictions, trauma therapy, stress, personal development, giving meaning to your life, how to build self-esteem, choosing a profession and career advice, social issues, etc. etc.) and with children (teenager counselling, study related problems, personal and social issues, etc.). Please visit my website www.marcelderoos.com for more information about myself, how I work plus an elaborate route description to my house. For the United States Embassy in Colombo I conduct psychological assessments of US citizens on behalf of the U.S. Social Security Administration.

For the the British Foreign & Commonwealth Office in Colombo I work as a psychologist for their consular staff members.