09/11/2025
~The Compliment Is More Dangerous Than Criticism~
There is a subtle paradox that I’ve observed in human behavior; one that most people overlook. The compliment is far more dangerous than criticism. While the latter awakens our defensive instincts, the former disarms them completely. When criticized, my brain immediately mobilizes its ancient survival system; the reptilian complex activates, preparing me for battle, sharpening my focus, and strengthening my boundaries. But when I am praised, something entirely different happens. My guard lowers. My emotional field opens. I become gentle, receptive, even naive.
Neuroscience shows that criticism stimulates the amygdala and triggers a cascade of stress hormones; cortisol, adrenaline; preparing the body for confrontation. It is a biochemical alert system, reminding me that my ego, my sense of self, feels threatened. Yet paradoxically, that same tension can awaken awareness. I become lucid, alert, more present within myself. Criticism, though unpleasant, can be a mirror that sharpens perception.
Compliments, on the other hand, stimulate the brain’s reward circuitry; dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin; chemicals of pleasure, connection, and trust. They create a gentle euphoria that dissolves rational distance. And this is where the danger lies. When I am complimented, my ego expands subtly. It bathes in validation. It whispers: “I am loved, I am special, I am right.” This whisper, though sweet, can be intoxicating. Praise can seduce the self into identification with illusion; the illusion of superiority, of moral virtue, of control.
Spiritually, this is the finest test of the ego. The enlightened masters never feared criticism; they feared attachment to approval. Buddha was neither flattered by praise nor disturbed by blame. He knew both belong to the same dualistic illusion that feeds the ego’s identity. To transcend them is to see through the theater of validation itself; the endless game of wanting to be “someone.”
Psychologically, praise can make the ego feel safe, while secretly reinforcing dependency on external approval. The moment I need validation to feel at peace, I have given my inner sovereignty away. I have allowed another person’s perception to dictate my worth. And so, the compliment, though soft in appearance, can enslave the mind more efficiently than criticism ever could.
In neuroscience, this dynamic is also clear. The brain’s social circuits evolved not only for survival but for belonging. Approval meant safety within the tribe. Disapproval meant risk, isolation, potential death. That ancient programming still governs our emotional reactions today. When praised, we feel accepted; when criticized, we feel rejected. But neither reaction reveals the truth of who we are.
The truth lies in neutrality; in observing both praise and criticism as passing waves in the ocean of consciousness. The self that witnesses these movements is untouched, unflattered, unoffended. It is the pure awareness beneath the social masks, beyond the reptilian reflex and emotional intoxication.
So, I’ve learned to be cautious not of the harsh critic, but of the gentle admirer. Criticism trains my awareness. Praise tests my humility. One strengthens the mind; the other tempts the ego. Both are sacred opportunities; one through fire, the other through honey.
❤️🌹
Vivian Correia
Vivian Correia II
Vivian Correia - Holistic Psychologist
Psychology and Literature
Vivian Correia - Lifestyle
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