Psiholog consultant Olga Osinski

Psiholog consultant Olga Osinski интегративная психотерапия

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01/09/2025

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Being a woman often feels like living under an invisible manual. From girlhood, we’re told what we should or should not be: Sit properly. Don’t talk too loud. Smile more. Don’t be too ambitious. Be nice, but not too nice. Be strong, but not intimidating. Stay desirable, but not “too much.” It’s as if the world is constantly scripting us into smaller, tighter boxes. And many of us, without realizing it, grow up carrying those invisible rules, trimming ourselves down to fit them.

This is the world Clarissa Pinkola Estés speaks into with Women Who Run With the Wolves. And she does it like no one else could. As a Jungian psychoanalyst, storyteller, and poet, Estés draws from myths, folktales, and ancient stories passed down for generations, weaving them into a guide for reclaiming the wild, instinctive self that society has tried to silence. Her voice is electric, at once tender and fierce, inviting us into the forgotten stories of women who dared to live unapologetically, women who remind us of what we were before the world told us who to be.

Reading this book was visceral for me. It felt like Estés was revealing a truth I didn’t know I needed, showing me parts of myself I had buried beneath years of being “good,” “acceptable,” and “safe.” Page after page, I felt called back to something primal, intuitive, untamed. It was liberating, sometimes uncomfortable, but deeply empowering. This book gave me permission to own my instincts, to trust my inner voice, and to live with a wilder kind of freedom.

Here are 7 powerful, moving insights from Women Who Run With the Wolves that continue to stay with me:

1. La Loba — the wolf woman who sings life back into the bones.
One of the most powerful images in the book is La Loba, the Wild Woman archetype who gathers the bones of wolves in the desert and sings them back into life. Estés explains that this story represents the reclamation of the wild feminine—the part of us that may seem lost, broken, or buried under responsibilities and wounds, but can be revived when we reconnect with our instinctual nature. For me, this story was a reminder that no matter how much of ourselves feels “dead” inside, the song is still there. We can sing ourselves back into wholeness.

2. Bluebeard — the predator within and around us.
Estés retells the chilling tale of Bluebeard, the wealthy man who forbids his new wife from opening one locked room, which contains the bodies of his former wives. This story, she explains, symbolizes the destructive forces that silence women’s curiosity and intuition. The “Bluebeard” figure lives not just in men, but also in the inner critic that tells us not to ask, not to question, not to dig deeper. The lesson is that women must learn to trust their instincts and investigate what feels “off” instead of obeying blindly. To ignore intuition is to risk destruction.

3. The Skeleton Woman — embracing love and life-death-life cycles.
In this haunting Inuit story, a fisherman accidentally pulls up a skeleton woman tangled in his net. At first horrified, he eventually brings her into his home, where through compassion and acceptance, she comes back to life. Estés uses this to illustrate that true love requires facing death—not literal death, but the cycles of loss, change, and rebirth that relationships demand. Real intimacy is not just about passion, but about courage to face endings and beginnings together.

4. The Red Shoes — the danger of selling out your soul.
Estés recounts the tale of a girl who longs for freedom and beauty but ends up trapped in a pair of enchanted red shoes that force her to dance endlessly until she collapses. The story warns of the dangers of abandoning our true self for glamour, approval, or shallow desires. The red shoes symbolize the temptations that promise fulfillment but lead to emptiness. The insight here is that women must guard their creative and spiritual lives fiercely, never trading them for superficial rewards.

5. The Ugly Duckling — finding your true belonging.
The classic tale of the swan born among ducks becomes, in Estés’ hands, a metaphor for women who feel like outsiders in their families, cultures, or relationships. She teaches that many women are born into environments that cannot see or nurture their true nature. The story reminds us that feeling out of place is not failure—it is a signal to seek out the waters where we belong, with others who recognize our beauty and strength.

6. Vasalisa the Wise — the power of intuition and endurance.
In this Russian folktale, young Vasalisa is sent to the terrifying Baba Yaga to fetch fire. She survives only because she carries with her a magical doll given by her mother, which offers wisdom and guidance. Estés interprets this doll as a symbol of women’s intuition—a small but steady voice that, if trusted, can carry us through life’s darkest trials. The lesson: every woman has this inner guide, but she must learn to listen and act upon it.

7. The Return to Wild Instinct — reclaiming what was lost.
Woven through all these stories is Estés’ core message: the modern world has tamed women, stripped them of their instincts, and taught them to doubt themselves. To “run with the wolves” is to break free of this conditioning and return to an instinctual, soulful way of living—rooted in creativity, passion, intuition, and unapologetic wholeness. The wild woman is not gone; she is waiting, bones in the desert, for us to sing her back to life.

Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés is a portal to your untamed self. Beyond the stories, Estés unveils the parts of you that were silenced, the instincts you were taught to doubt, the wildness you were urged to suppress.
This book is a primal summons—a fierce howl echoing through centuries—affirming that you are not broken, not excessive, not alone. You belong to an ancient lineage of women who carry fire in their bones and wisdom in their blood. The invitation is undeniable: stop shrinking. Cease apologizing. Trust your voice, your art, your love, your instincts. Run fiercely toward the woman you were always destined to be—the one who knows how to sing her own bones back to life.

When a woman reclaims her wildness, she doesn’t just heal herself, she mends her daughters, her sisters, her community, and the generations yet to come.

BOOK:https://amzn.to/4n0wSXa

You can also get FREE Audiobook using the same link use the link to register Audible and start enjoying it

31/08/2025

Modern colourised version of "The Eagle Carrying Dante" by Gustave Doré (1865—1868).

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28/08/2025

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The Raven ... Nevermore

“The Raven" is a narrative poem by Edgar Allan Poe. The poem first was published in January 1845.

Noted for its musicality, stylized language, and supernatural atmosphere, the poem tells of a talking raven's mysterious visit to a distraught lover, and traces the man's slow fall into madness.

The lover is lamenting the loss of his love, Lenore. The raven, which may represent a visit from across the veil, sitting upon a bust of Pallas, further distresses the narrator with its constant repetition of the word "Nevermore".

A bust is a sculpture of the head and shoulders of a person. Pallas is another name for Athena, the Greek goddess of wisdom. That the narrator has a bust of Pallas in his room is an indication of his own appreciation and valuing of wisdom.

Poe intended the Raven to symbolize mournful, never-ending remembrance. The narrator's sorrow for his lost, perfect Lenore is the driving force behind his conversation with the Raven.

For most contemporary magical practitioners, a raven signifies that there are magical forces being presented to you. It symbolizes the cosmic forces, which are at work in your life, as well as all the things that you can achieve through the power of your imagination.

Nevermore is an old-fashioned way of saying “never again” or “at no time in the future.”

As the protagonist in the poem slowly goes mad from grief, he asks the raven if Lenore is in heaven. The replies, "nevermore." In the end, the narrator goes insane. The word "nevermore" may mean here that he will never be sane again.

The poem makes use of folk, mythological, religious, and classical references, and always is a delight to read.

The Raven
by Edgar Allen Poe (1809-1849)

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore—
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
“’Tis some visitor,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door—
Only this and nothing more.”

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December;
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow;—vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow—sorrow for the lost Lenore—
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore—
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken, sad, uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me—filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
“’Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door—
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door;—
This it is and nothing more.”

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
“Sir,” said I, “or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you”—here I opened wide the door;—
Darkness there and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, “Lenore?”
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, “Lenore!”—
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
“Surely,” said I, “surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore—
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore;—
’Tis the wind and nothing more!”

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately Raven of the saintly days of yore;
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door—
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door—
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
“Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,” I said, “art sure no craven,
Ghastly grim and ancient Raven wandering from the Nightly shore—
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night’s Plutonian shore!”
Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning—little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door—
Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as “Nevermore.”

But the Raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing farther then he uttered—not a feather then he fluttered—
Till I scarcely more than muttered “Other friends have flown before—
On the morrow he will leave me, as my Hopes have flown before.”
Then the bird said “Nevermore.”

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
“Doubtless,” said I, “what it utters is its only stock and store
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore—
Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore
Of ‘Never—nevermore’.”

But the Raven still beguiling all my fancy into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore—
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking “Nevermore.”

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom’s core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion’s velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o’er,
But whose velvet-violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o’er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
“Wretch,” I cried, “thy God hath lent thee—by these angels he hath sent thee
Respite—respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore;
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!”
Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

“Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil!—prophet still, if bird or devil!—
Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted—
On this home by Horror haunted—tell me truly, I implore—
Is there—is there balm in Gilead?—tell me—tell me, I implore!”
Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

“Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil!—prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us—by that God we both adore—
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore—
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore.”
Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

“Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!” I shrieked, upstarting—
“Get thee back into the tempest and the Night’s Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken!—quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!”
Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon’s that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o’er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted—nevermore!

[Image: Nevermore traditional and digital media image by New York freelance illustrator Angela Rizza.]

A Personal Note:
This image - reminiscent of a classical storybook illustration - provided the inspiration for this post. It had been seven months since my dad had passed, and I was feeling it on this night in 2020 when I wrote the post.

The Smart Witch by Elizabeth

Classic The Smart Witch
Post from 19 August 2020 and 2022
Updated 19 August 2025



12/06/2024

“The importance of expressing what we feel.”

19/05/2024

Эгоистичный человек любит себя не слишком сильно, а слишком слабо, более того – по сути он себя ненавидит.

Из-за отсутствия созидательности, что оставляет его опустошенным и фрустрированным, он неизбежно несчастен и потому судорожно силится урвать у жизни удовольствия, получению которых сам же и препятствует.

Кажется, что он слишком носится с собственной персоной, но в действительности это только безуспешные попытки скрыть и компенсировать свой провал по части заботы о своем "я".

Эрих Фромм

19/02/2024

Heal the girl and woman will appear Понятие "излечи девочку, и женщина появится" можно рассмотреть с психологической точ...
09/02/2024

Heal the girl and woman will appear

Понятие "излечи девочку, и женщина появится" можно рассмотреть с психологической точки зрения как аллюзию на внутренний эмоциональный и психический рост, который необходим для полноценного становления женщины. Это не только означает преодоление травм, негативных убеждений или внутренних конфликтов, но и процесс самопознания, самоактуализации и развития личности.

"Девочка" здесь может символизировать начальную стадию развития личности, с ее уязвимостями, недостатками и незавершенностью. Излечение этой "девочки" означает работу над собой, осознание своих внутренних потребностей, умение принимать себя такой, какая ты есть, и одновременно стремление к лучшему. Этот процесс позволяет "девочке" преобразиться в "женщину" – сильную, уверенную, целеустремленную личность, готовую к взрослой жизни.

В контексте психологии, "излечение" может означать не только работу с внутренними проблемами, но и процесс самопознания, понимание своих потребностей и ценностей, развитие эмоциональной интеллектуальности и умения строить здоровые отношения с окружающими.

Таким образом, фраза "излечи девочку, и женщина появится" может восприниматься как призыв к внутреннему росту и самопознанию, ведущим к эмоциональной, психологической и духовной зрелости женщины.

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24/01/2024

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05/01/2024

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Ваша семья проделала большой путь, чтобы вы были в этом моменте ❤️

29/12/2023

ДВА ПСИХОТЕРАПЕВТА ЗНАКОМЯТСЯ НА САЙТЕ ЗНАКОМСТВ

Ж – Здравствуйте, как вас называть?
М – Вы можете меня называть как вам удобно, но я буду к вам обращаться на "вы" и по имени.
Ж – Спасибо, что вы уважительно относитесь к моим границам. Какие виды избегания тревоги неопределенности вы чаще всего используете?
М – Рисую, спортом занимаюсь, кино смотрю, заедаю, запиваю.
Ж – Ух ты! Я тоже заедаю и запиваю. Оральная фиксация?
М – Да, мы с вами хорошо совпали симптомами! Но у меня еще и немного анальной – очень не люблю тратить деньги зря. В рестораны не хожу, ем только дома.
Ж – Расскажите, какой у вас сейчас кризис, что вы выбрали сайт знакомств как спасительную стратегию?
М – Ой, кажется у меня обострилась сепарационная тревога в связи с пубертатом дочери. Очень боюсь потерять такую важную для меня идентификацию и ищу кого-то в два раза младше себя, чтобы не думать о скором бессилии и ненужности.
Ж – О, я вас понимаю, это такая пустота, которую хочется чем угодно заткнуть. Зияющая пропасть..
М – Кхм. Что вы имеете в виду, когда говорите "заткнуть пустоту"?
Ж – Извините, это мое подсознательное прорывается, я слишком давно одна. И как вы справляетесь с вашей пустотой?
М – Обычно я сексуализирую невыносимость отсутствия близости. Промискуитет, так сказать. Но иногда получается даже выбрать объект и идеализировать неделю-две.
Ж – Ну а потом наступает разочарование и все повторяется... Как я вас понимаю..
М – Да, сложно не ретравмироваться, когда соцсети представляют тебе "идеальное я", а "реальное я" так от него далеко. Абсолютная фрустрация.
Ж – И не говорите! Ретравматизация – наше все! Нет чтобы выбрать кого-то доброго и надежного, стабильный достаточно хороший объект для разнообразия. Так нет же – опять и опять проживаю холодную, жадную мать.
Вот и вы скорее всего пропадете после этого диалога.
М – Нет-нет, что вы! У меня же тревожный тип привязанности. Я никуда не пропаду. Я буду жутко бояться, что вы меня бросили, даже если мы с вами еще не встречались. Я буду звонить вам в рабочее время и переживать, что вы не отвечаете уже 15 минут.
Я буду представлять себе других мужчин и женщин, ворующих вас у меня. Я буду ненавидеть вас за свою зависимость и желание полного слияния, но когда мы будем видеться – я буду падать к вашим ногам и прощать всё.
Ж – Ааа... Так у вас мазохистический радикал и комплекс жертвы? Что ж вы раньше не сказали? Я как раз думаю, куда бы мне сублимировать свою накопленную агрессию.
М – Нууу, есть немного, но если это будет понарошку, то не будет так больно, поэтому я бы предпочел об этом не рассказывать.
Ж – Понимаю и уважаю ваше решение. Давайте это вытесним и я притворюсь, что не замечаю вашу пограничную организацию.
М – Буду вам премного благодарен. А я создам образ вас как теплой и отзывчивой и абсолютно не похожей на мою маму. И может быть из этого что-то выйдет.
Ж – Да, давайте попробуем. А если не выйдет, то всегда можно это спроецировать в терапевта и продолжать наслаждаться страданием.
М – Звучит очень воодушевляюще. Приходите ко мне в гости в 18.00. У меня есть 50 минут до следующего клиента.
Ж – До свидания, хорошо вам пофантазировать о нашем совместном будущем.

Текст Юлия Савчук

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Chisinau
MD-2068

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