Joseph Antoncich - Family Therapist and Systemic Practitioner

22/05/2025

Għaliex hija importanti l-preżenza emozzjonali tal-missier?

Il-preżenza tal-missier fil-ħajja t’uliedhom m’hiex rappreżentata biss minn kontribut ta’ flus jew oġġetti materjali - hija ukoll preżenza emozzjonali msarrfa f’ħin, attenzjoni u sapport kontinwu.

Aħseb dwar il-preżenza emozzjonali bħal fanal. Mintix ser twaqqaf il-maltempati li jiffaċċjaw t-tfal tiegħek, imma d-dawl kostanti tiegħek: l-attenzjoni, il-kalma, l-imħabba, l-ħin biex tirraġuna magħhom, jgħinhom isibu triqthom lejn ix-xatt mingħajr periklu.

It-tfal qatt ma jinsew dak li tkun għamilt magħhom f’dawn il-mumenti.

19/05/2025

Some reflections on Trust in relationships

Trust is one of the key foundations of every healthy relationship. Every time I ask about trust, people tell me that trust isn’t built overnight; it’s created through consistent actions, emotional safety, and vulnerability over time. When trust is broken, it can feel like the basis of the relationship is lost.

So in essence, something that takes very long and a lot of hard work to be built can be destroyed in a matter of moments.

Here are some practical ways to build or rebuild trust:

✅ Communicate openly – Say what you feel with kindness and clarity. Silence creates assumptions; honesty builds connection.
✅ Follow through – If you say you’ll do something, do it. Consistency is one of trust’s best friends.
✅ Apologize when needed – A sincere “I’m sorry” can open doors to healing that defensiveness never will.
✅ Set healthy boundaries – Respecting your limits (and others’) shows that safety matters.
✅ Be patient – Trust grows slowly. Let it bloom in its own time, with care.

Trust begins with small, safe steps. Keep showing up. 💙

07/04/2025

⚠️ Boundaries with our family of origin ⚠️

Setting boundaries with our family of origin when getting into a committed relationship is a critical aspect of maintaining a healthy relationship within the relationship and with extended family members. This process can be challenging, as it involves negotiating the dynamics of both the new relationship and the existing family ties.

Healthy boundaries are not about rejection or cutting off family members, but about creating limits that protect the couple's time, emotional energy, and intimacy.

Clear, open, and respectful communication is crucial when setting boundaries with the family of origin. In family therapy, couples are encouraged to communicate these boundaries assertively, not aggressively, and to be honest about their needs.

While setting boundaries is about creating space for the couple to grow, it doesn’t mean completely cutting off relationships with family. Family therapy often focuses on helping couples find a balance between maintaining meaningful connections with their families of origin while prioritizing their own relationship.

Some helpful tips:

⭕️ Discuss your values, expectations, and previous family dynamics to have a clear understanding of what is important to each other.
⭕️ Hold a united front with your partner and communicate about this front consistently.
⭕️ Consider negotiating the frequency of visits, the nature of familial involvement in major decisions, and how to manage holidays or family events without feeling overwhelmed or divided.
⭕️ Be ready to compromise.

31/03/2025

💔 Healing from Betrayal

Trust is the cornerstone of family dynamics. When it’s broken through betrayal, it’s not just the individual who experiences harm; the whole family system may be disrupted. This may lead to emotional distance and conflict, while rebuilding trust is a gradual process, requiring open communication, empathy and accountability.

Forgiveness is a key element in healing from betrayal, though it is not always easy or immediate. Family therapy can help guide individuals through the process of forgiveness, not necessarily for the benefit of the person who has betrayed, but for the emotional well-being of all involved. It’s important to recognize that forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing the betrayal, but rather choosing to release the power of the betrayal over one's life and relationships.

Betrayal can create a deep sense of insecurity. The family system may feel like an unsafe place, especially if the betrayal was unexpected or deeply personal. In therapy, the goal is often to restore a sense of safety and connection within the family. This involves not only addressing the betrayal itself but also helping family members rebuild their sense of security in each other.

27/03/2025

⚠️ Relationships don’t have shortcuts ✂️

Our world is full of ways we can receive instant results:

🍔 Fast food & courier services;
📱 Reliable & quick digital communication;
📦 Same day shipping;
🚕 Transport at your door, 2 mins away from you;
📺 Stream all the available episodes you want;
🗓️ Quick appointment or service bookings.

Relationships, whether romantic, familial, collegial, or friendships, require hard work, effort, patience and time. There are no quick fixes like the ones listed above for this.

It can feel disheartening when we invest all our time and energy on relationships that are not sustainable or that we need to walk away from. These moments should not discourage us from working on our relationships.

Some thoughts to consider:

🗣️ Communication does not occur naturally and speaking about our differences is essential to understanding each other and what we need from one another;

🫸🫷 Compromise is often necessary in relationships; it takes effort to figure out what we can agree upon and sometimes we need to be ready to let go of something to hold onto something else;

🩷❤️🧡 Consider different approaches to the same difficulty; sometimes we tend to repeat the same solutions when presented with a problem and so trying a different method might present with new rewards;

⏳ Dedicate quality time to your relationships; the results won’t come if we aren’t putting in the hours and doing something together;

💬 Therapy can be helpful, and it requires time, effort and attendance to be effective.

24/03/2025

A lot of people are talking about the limited series 'Adolescence' and the thoughts it provokes about the world our children live in and the challenges they face. Few however talk about the mini-series 'Invisible', based on the thought-provoking novel by Eloy Moreno (https://www.disneyplus.com/en-gb/browse/entity-4e0de209-b7e7-4dfc-8120-73bf799e33f0).

This mini-series is about Capi, a 12-year-old boy who suffers a terrible accident that leaves him with severe post-traumatic stress. I won't spoil it for those who want to watch it, however the show delves deep into themes of bullying, loneliness, isolation and guilt. It invites viewers to reflect on what it truly means to be 'invisible'.

'Invisible' reminds us parents of the importance of:

⭐️ Communicating with our children and giving them the space to express their thoughts and feelings without judgement;
⭐️ Validating their feelings and giving them attention;
⭐️ Teaching our children to recognize and understand others’ feelings;
⭐️ Share our own feelings and experiences. This shows them that it’s okay to be vulnerable and that everyone faces challenges;
⭐️ Help your child focus on their strengths and achievements. Encourage resilience by discussing how to navigate setbacks;
⭐️ Seek professional help if you feel your children are struggling significantly or you are finding it difficult to help them.

12/03/2025

A little over a week ago I had the opportunity of delivering a training seminar and toolkit for Malta Girl Guides leaders about dealing with difficult emotions in children. I am honored to have supported toward the growth and learning of this fantastic group of leaders that contribute to shape the generation of tomorrow.

08/05/2024

🤔 Am I hopeless at relationships? 🤔

"Am I hopeless at relationships?" - this is a question that I get all the time.

📸 Picture this: You've gone through another break-up or ended a relationship that lasted quite some time and you're trying to figure out what went wrong. Even if you identify things that went wrong that weren't your fault, going through this process does make you look inwards and wonder whether anything you are doing is causing this to happen.

Firstly, not every person we have a relationship with becomes our life partner. Sometimes, although it's painful to imagine, breakups can be healthy experiences that allow us to learn more about ourselves to figure out what we truly need and want from a relationship.

Some of the reasons why relationships keep failing are:

🥺 You go with what you know. Past struggles or difficulties in your upbringing may affect your ability to trust, communicate, be heard or feel loved. Unmet needs in childhood may impact what you come to expect out of your relationships too.

🤫 You struggle to communicate your emotions. You may have learnt that expressing your feelings makes you vulnerable and weak. Communication is the bread and butter of a healthy relationship.

🤕 You suffered child abuse. Coping or responding with abuse happens in different ways. It may manifest itself as a subconscious cycle that keeps the abuse alive (entering into many abusive relationships), or may cause you to shut down and struggle to let anyone in.

👎 You have uncompromising standards. Having standards and boundaries are important, however having no flexibility and room for compromise can lead you to constantly cut people out. No single human being is the same and accepting certain differences that you are ok with is necessary.

Breaking a pattern can take time so don’t be discouraged. It's about finding your past pains and identifying how your coping mechanisms are now hindering you instead of protecting you.

If any of the above sounds familiar, therapy is one place where you can explore and understand yourself. I'm here to support you through this journey.



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03/05/2024

❇️ Children and Family Therapy ❇️

Therapists are catalysts for listening; we don't only do it ourselves, but we encourage it as an important tool for families. In therapy, it is crucial in order for connection between child and parents to develop and deepen.

As a therapist, I encourage every family member to participate in a session by supporting them to bring their voice and experience into the therapy room.

In this way, I am not only engaging with every family member, but also creating a space where everyone feels that I understand their perspective and give it value. This can serve as an important modelling exercise for family members when they need to acknowledge each other's perspectives.



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02/05/2024

❇️ Children and Family Therapy ❇️

It is likely that therapy is not the first point of call for parents when they bring their children into therapy. The reality is that they are probably experiencing helplessness and are tired. They would have tried other things that did not lead to any consistent or relevant progress.

This may mean that parents access therapy feeling lost and doubtful of the process. Parents may view a problem as too hard to handle alone or too confusing to handle without the correct approach. Family therapy seeks to normalise these feelings and acknowledge the perspectives of everyone involved.

Family therapy focuses on reassuring parents that hope exists and that change is possible.



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08/03/2024

Onwards and upwards!! ❤️❤️❤️

Illum niċċelebraw 6 snin minn meta bdejna noperaw mill-uffiċċju u l-klinika tagħna f'Birzebbuga. Grati għal dawk kollha li fdawna u ħerqana li nkomplu nkunu ta’ servizz.

Today we celebrate 6 years since we started operating from our office & clinic in Birzebbuga. Grateful for all those who entrusted us and looking forward to continue being of service.


🎉🎊🎉🎊

15/02/2024

We need to talk...

We have all been on the receiving end of challenging or bad news at one point or another in our lives. Such kind of news is generally painful because it has some level of impact on our lives and will