Usha's Counselling

18/04/2026

Sometimes, we say, “I don’t have time.”
But the truth is… the time is there.

Yesterday, I found myself sitting on the sofa as I was waiting for a client, in the quiet of the counselling room. Just a few minutes. And in that stillness, I could almost drift off to sleep.

It made me realise something.

It’s not always that we don’t have time—
it’s that we don’t allow ourselves to take it.

We tell ourselves we’ll rest later.
We’ll slow down when things calm down.
We’ll make time when there’s more of it.

But time doesn’t just appear.
We have to choose it.

Even in the smallest pockets.
Even in between responsibilities.
Even for a few minutes.

I used to say “steal the time.”
But that makes it sound like it isn’t ours.

The time *is* yours.
It’s about giving yourself permission to take it.

To pause.
To breathe.
To rest.
To just be.

It doesn’t have to be big.
Sometimes, a few quiet minutes is enough.

So… what would it look like for you to take your time back today?

17/04/2026

This is something I’ve really been looking forward to.

One of my favourite things to do is sit in my car with a cup of tea or coffee and some comfort food—usually a good burger!—and just take a moment for myself. Today after work, I went to Weston Shore, Southampton, and allowed myself to fully indulge in that little ritual.

I was lucky—the sun came out, and as I sat there watching the shore, I noticed so many others doing the same. Just pausing. Just being. There was this shared sense of calm and tranquillity… and of course, my burger and tea made it even better.

When we talk about doing things that bring us joy, comfort, peace—and that one thing that often feels just out of reach… happiness—it doesn’t have to be something big. It doesn’t have to be climbing a mountain or chasing something extraordinary. Sometimes, it’s in the smallest moments.

It might even be something you’re already doing without fully realising it.

Doing these small things consistently—and more importantly, being aware of them—allows us to recharge. To take a breather in a life that rarely slows down on its own. And when life doesn’t pause for us, it becomes even more important that we choose to pause for ourselves.

Because at the end of the day, that’s what we can control.

Life will go in all directions, often unpredictably. But we can choose to create moments where we just breathe, reset, and come back to ourselves.

I felt recharged after today.

So I wonder—what are you already doing that brings you that sense of calm and tranquillity? That quiet sigh of relief in the middle of a busy day?

And what could you do a little more of when life feels heavy?

15/04/2026

A rainy day can change your plans—but it doesn’t have to ruin your day.

Life doesn’t always go the way we expect, and sometimes we’re left feeling a bit thrown off.

In those moments, it can help to ask:
“What do I need now instead?”

Maybe it’s rest.
Maybe it’s something small but comforting.
Maybe it’s just doing the day differently.

Having a few “rainy day” options in your back pocket can make all the difference.

14/04/2026

This has been a long time coming.

I’ve dreamt of having a space to see clients face-to-face for years. There were times I got so close — even buying furniture, preparing for it — but for different reasons, it just never happened.

So being able to now sit in this room and say that I’ve been seeing clients face-to-face for nearly a month… means more than I can explain.

This little space has become somewhere people come to share things they’ve never shared before. Somewhere we can explore what they’re going through, at their pace.

It’s a privilege to be trusted in that way.

A quiet reminder to myself: you had the dream, and you got here.

And now, we keep building 🤍
📍Bedford Place, Southampton”

26/03/2026

❤️

16/03/2026

26/01/2026

Have you ever wondered why you get angry? Or maybe someone has told you 'Why are you always so angry?!'

We often try to manage anger by focusing on what triggered it — a child misbehaving, bad weather, or plans falling apart. But many times, anger isn’t really about what’s happening on the surface. It can come from something much deeper.

In this blog, I explore where anger really comes from, how we can begin to understand it better, and I share a few practical tips to help manage it.

If you feel you need support with your anger — or you know someone who might — you’re welcome to reach out to me for a counselling session on 5841 2640.

Take Care!

Anger usually gets bad press, but is that justified? Click here to find out a bit more about why we become angry.

20/01/2026

✨ BEING EMOTIONALLY MATURE DOESN’T MEAN YOU NEVER STRUGGLE —
IT MEANS YOU’VE LEARNED HOW TO MEET YOURSELF IN THE STRUGGLE. ✨

We hear the words *emotional intelligence* and *maturity* a lot, but what do they actually look like in real life? Not in theory — but in the way someone moves through their day, their relationships, and their difficult moments.

Here are some signs I’ve noticed in emotionally intelligent people:

1. They know when to step back
An emotionally intelligent person is attuned to their inner state. They can recognise when they are becoming overwhelmed, overstimulated, anxious, or emotionally flooded. Instead of pushing through and exploding later, they pause. They might leave a noisy room, take a few deep breaths, or choose a quieter space.
They understand something important: *sometimes I need to change my environment, because no one else will do that for me.*

2. They can take accountability
This is one of the biggest signs for me.
Emotionally mature people can admit when they are wrong. They take responsibility for their words, their behaviour, and the impact they have on others. They don’t deflect, distort, or gaslight. They don’t rush into defensive mode.
They are able to say, “I didn’t handle that well,” and mean it. That level of honesty shows real strength.

3. They know what helps them cope
They’ve taken the time to learn themselves. They know what calms them, what grounds them, and what helps when life feels chaotic.
This isn’t accidental — it comes from curiosity and self-reflection. They keep exploring new ways to regulate stress and enjoy life, because they want to be better for themselves and for the people around them.

4. They respond rather than react
When something difficult happens, they don’t immediately fire back with the same energy. They create a small space between the trigger and their response.
They might breathe, reflect, or step away before speaking. They’ve learned that emotions are valid, but emotions don’t need to drive the steering wheel.

5. They can say no without drowning in guilt
People-pleasing often looks “nice,” but it usually leads to resentment and exhaustion.
An emotionally mature person understands that saying no is not selfish — it’s self-care. They may still feel a little guilt, but they don’t let guilt make their decisions. They know they are allowed to choose themselves.

6. They set and reinforce boundaries
Boundaries don’t come naturally to most of us — they are practiced.
Emotionally intelligent people learn to express what is okay and what is not, and they understand something powerful: *I cannot control how others react to my boundaries, only how I respect my own.*

Emotional intelligence isn’t about being perfect or calm all the time.
It’s about awareness, responsibility, and a willingness to grow.
And all of these are skills — not traits you either have or don’t have.

—

15/01/2026

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kytuP5Je1P0

I’ve recently re-started creating mental health–related videos on my YouTube channel, dedicated to counselling and emotional wellbeing. These videos are in a more relaxed and laid-back style, but they still focus on real mental health challenges, personal struggles, and the importance of self-care.

My aim is to help shine a light on topics that often stay unspoken – especially toxic and narcissistic relationship patterns. Toxicity in relationships can be so subtle that it becomes normal, and most of the time we don’t even question it. I want to raise awareness about the harm this can cause, particularly for those on the receiving end who know they feel hurt or unsettled, but can’t quite understand why.

If you feel this could be helpful to you or someone you know, please feel free to visit the channel, like, and share. I truly believe it’s important to keep spreading the word about mental health and reminding people that they are not alone.

And if you take the time to watch the video fully – thank you, I really appreciate your support 💛

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