04/03/2026
Setting boundaries is often presented as something simple: communicate clearly and ask for what we need.
But for many individuals, especially when past trauma is involved, the nervous system may respond very differently. Attempts to set boundaries can trigger freeze, avoidance, disconnection, or dissociation.
In therapy, we can explore boundaries from different angles — logical, emotional, and relational. We may also practice through role-play so boundaries can be experienced in a safe environment, helping identify fears and tolerate the discomfort or guilt that sometimes arises.
Inspired in part by the work of Juliane Shore, the focus shifts away from trying to make another person change. Instead, boundaries become a way of adding layers of protection around vulnerable parts of ourselves, guided by what feels safe for the nervous system.
This learning is part of my ongoing continuing professional development through courses with PESI UK.
Sometimes boundaries begin internally — as protection — before they are spoken.
