
14/05/2025
🌿 Why I Do This Work
The story behind Xamani Retreats
A few years ago, I lost everything I’ve been working for for many years.
Not because of my carelessness or stupid decisions.
I’ve lost my home, my friends, my visions of the future I wished for. But the worst, I’ve lost myself.
In the battle with the man who was supposed to love me. That’s what he promised when he crashed into my life.
Who was supposed to protect me. But he couldn’t protect me from his own demons.
Who promised to care for me and about me in a way that I could shine and create.
But instead, he always found ways to dim my light, paralyze me, and make me feel worthless. Because I wasn’t making him money.
My efforts, my energy, my love, my support for whatever he came up with to become a millionaire and lay his ass on the beach, stayed unseen.
They were meaningless to him.
For years I lived in despair, slowly losing my will to live. Questioning if there was a way out and if life could ever be beautiful again.
If I could be loved.
If I could be treated with respect.
If I could create something meaningful.
If there were someone who would see me.
Appreciate me.
Support me. Unconditionally.
Someone who would want to make love to me. To my body, mind, and Soul.
I didn’t rise overnight. I rose through devotion to myself.
When I left him in the middle of the night with $350 after nine years of giving everything, all I had was my trust in Divine guidance.
I heard the Great Mother saying: “It’s enough.”
And I knew She would somehow make it work.
Step by step, I found the way back to myself.
With the support I received from many, I was able to get through the hardest period of my life.
Next to me, my daughter, supporting me and holding me each time I broke down.
She has always been the reason I found the way out of despair.
Together, we’ve worked tirelessly and deeply to break the chains, to remove limits we’ve been trained to believe in.
I’ve surrendered all I was into the hands of the Divine.
I dove into dozens of practices with dedication and determination.
I’ve healed and reprogrammed myself.
I’ve opened myself to receiving with deepest humility and gratitude.
And I’ve received more than I would ever expect, because I’ve realized the true honor and grace of serving the Divine.
My life became a ritual.
My beloved Ayahuasca showed me that what I was carrying didn’t belong to me. And She showed me what I was made of.
I walked through the fire and burned to ashes all the darkness that tried to keep me on my knees. And on the other side, I found my life.
A life of deep Love with the most incredible man, who is removing gently from my mind every drop of fear, insecurity, and limit, replacing it with joy and gratitude for who I am.
A man who is reminding me that I am lovable, powerful, and invincible. My King, who is not opening only my car door, but every door for me so I can dance through and design every space behind in the style I want.
He teaches me to be free.
I’ve manifested my castle in the jungle, a Sanctuary I was in Love with for over two years. It’s finally my Home and a majestic space where I now offer my work.
I've published a book, Divine Power of Ayahuasca, as a tribute to the medicine that saved my life.
I'm surrounded by incredible humans, brothers and sisters who love me and who walk the medicine path with grace.
I’ve cultivated an unbreakable bond with my daughter. Our Love bridges lifetimes. Together, we’ve created Xamani Retreats, which began as a shy whisper in my Soul years ago and has now become a powerful journey with the Spirit of Ayahuasca for many.
Not to offer a getaway.
Not to entertain.
But to hold space for real transformation.
Because I know what it’s like to be in the darkness, and to feel like no one can truly see you. And I know what it takes to come out on the other side, free, open, and living the life most of us only dream of.
That’s why I created this space. To guide others through their own Journey of Illumination and to help them get there much faster than I did.
To be to others someone I once needed.
The one who knows exactly what it takes to rise and guides them beyond the limits.
If you’re reading this, this might be for you.
Our next Sacred Medicine retreat 22-28 June is open for registration.