13/06/2025
The Self-Harm Cycle: Why It Can Feel 'Relieving'
When a young person self-harms, it’s not about attention or manipulation. It’s often about release. Here’s why ⬇️
🧠 When we’re overwhelmed by emotional pain, the body activates its stress response. This can feel unbearable — like the emotion is too big to hold.
⚡ Self-harm can trigger the release of endorphins — the body’s natural painkillers. These chemicals can dull emotional and physical pain temporarily and create a sense of calm or numbness.
But here’s the trap ⛓️
➡️ The relief doesn’t last.
➡️ Feelings of shame, guilt or secrecy follow.
➡️ Emotional pain builds again… and the cycle repeats.
Self-harm isn’t about wanting to die. It’s about trying to cope with pain that feels impossible to sit with.
Breaking the cycle starts with safety, understanding, and compassionate support. See the comments for link to our Chasing Endorphins, Self-Harm Toolkit. Which includes this resource.
Children and young people need:
Safer ways to regulate emotions
A toolkit that meets sensory and emotional needs
A trusted adult who sees behind the behaviour
Let’s change the narrative from shame to support.
