26/11/2025
"đŚđđŽđşđś đđđşđŽ đđŽđżđś đŚđŽđđŽ đđśđšđŽ đĄđŽđ¸ 'đđđ'. đŚđ˛đšđŽđśđť đ§đ, đđđŽđ đ§đŽđ¸ đ§đŽđľđ đđ˛ đŁđŽđđŽđš đŚđŽđđŽ.".
Most days:
Tak ada pelukan.
Tak ada genggam tangan sambil lalu.
Tak ada "Sayang okay tak hari ni?"
Tak ada sentuhan lembut kat bahu bila you masak.
Dia sibuk dengan phone.
Dia sibuk dengan kerja.
Dia ada masa untuk kawan, untuk hobi, untuk benda lain..
Tapi untuk YOU - untuk just being present, untuk emotionally connect - đđŽđ¸ đŽđąđŽ đşđŽđđŽ..
đ§đľđ˛đť đŻđśđšđŽ đąđśđŽ đťđŽđ¸ "đľđđŻđđťđ´đŽđť":
Suddenly dia rajin.
Suddenly dia perasan you exist.
Suddenly dia nak peluk, nak mesra, nak close.
And you TAHU.
đŹđźđ đđŽđľđ đđľđśđ đśđđť'đ đŽđŻđźđđ đ°đźđťđťđ˛đ°đđśđťđ´ đđśđđľ đđźđ.
đ§đľđśđ đśđ đŽđŻđźđđ đľđśđş đđŽđťđđśđťđ´ đđ˛đ
..
đ§đđ đŁđđ§đ§đđĽđĄ đŹđđĄđ đĽđđ đđ đŞđđŠđđŚ đĽđđđ˘đđĄđđđ:
Bila dia ada "keperluan," tiba-tiba:
â Dia jadi romantic
â Dia sweet talk
â Dia perhatian sikit
â Dia cuba create mood
Lepas habis?
đđŽđ°đ¸ đđź đťđźđżđşđŽđš.
Back to distant.
Back to you being invisible.
Until next time dia ada keperluan.
Maybe few days later.
Maybe tomorrow.
đđ˛đ˝đ˛đťđąđ đźđť đľđśđ đťđ˛đ˛đąđ, đŻđđ¸đŽđť đđźđđż đ˛đşđźđđśđźđťđŽđš đđđŽđđ˛.
Then the cycle repeats..
đđĄđ đŹđ˘đ¨ đŚđ§đđĽđ§ đđđđđđĄđ đđđđ:
Bukan wife.
đđđ¸đŽđť đšđśđłđ˛ đ˝đŽđżđđťđ˛đż.
đđđđ... đđźđşđ˛đźđťđ˛ đđŽđťđ´ đłđđšđłđśđšđš đľđśđ đ˝đľđđđśđ°đŽđš đťđ˛đ˛đąđ đŻđśđšđŽ đąđśđŽ đ˝đ˛đżđšđđ¸đŽđť.
Sebab affection dia bukan spontaneous.
Bukan genuine.
đđđ¸đŽđť đđ˛đŻđŽđŻ đąđśđŽ đđŽđđŽđťđ´ đđźđ đŽđťđą đˇđđđ đđŽđťđđ đđź đŻđ˛ đ°đšđźđđ˛..
đđ'đ đđżđŽđťđđŽđ°đđśđźđťđŽđš:
Dia nak something â Temporary affection â Dapat apa dia nak â Affection disappears..
đđĄđ đŹđđĄđ đđđĽđđđđ¨:
Bila the ONLY time dia peluk you, kiss you, cakap sayang, adalah bila dia nak "hubungan suami isteri"
đŹđźđ đđđŽđżđ đąđśđđ°đźđťđťđ˛đ°đđśđťđ´.
Sebab deep down you tahu:
This closeness is fake.
Temporary.
Conditional.
đđŽđđ˛đą đźđť đľđśđ đťđ˛đ˛đą, đŻđđ¸đŽđť đ´đ˛đťđđśđťđ˛ đąđ˛đđśđżđ˛ đđź đ°đźđťđťđ˛đ°đ đąđ˛đťđ´đŽđť đđźđ đŽđ đŽ đ˝đ˛đżđđźđť.
So bila that moment comes and dia suddenly interested
Your body might cooperate.
đ§đŽđ˝đś đđźđđż đľđ˛đŽđżđ đąđŽđľ đ°đľđ˛đ°đ¸đźđđ.
Sebab macam mana you nak enjoy intimacy dengan someone yang treat you like invisible most of the time,
đđľđ˛đť đđđąđąđ˛đťđšđ đżđ˛đşđ˛đşđŻđ˛đż đđźđ đ˛đ
đśđđ đŻđśđšđŽ đąđśđŽ đľđźđżđťđ?.
đ§đđ đđ đ˘đ§đđ˘đĄđđ đĽđđđđđ§đŹ:
Lama-lama, "hubungan intim" becomes:
đđđ¸đŽđť đśđťđđśđşđŽđđ˛.
It becomes duty.
Routine.
Something you just... get through.
Sebab intimacy tanpa emotional connection is just:
đŁđľđđđśđ°đŽđš đżđ˛đšđ˛đŽđđ˛ đđťđđđ¸ đąđśđŽ.
đđťđą đ˛đşđ˝đđśđťđ˛đđ đđťđđđ¸ đđźđ..
You lie there thinking:
"Esok pagi dia akan ignore me again, kan?"
"Few days later sama je."
"This closeness means nothing. It's just... biology."
And that hurts.
Sebab you married him hoping untuk partnership.
Companionship.
Emotional closeness.
đĄđźđ đđź đŻđ˛ đżđźđźđşđşđŽđđ˛ đđŽđťđ´ đąđśđŽ đźđ°đ°đŽđđśđźđťđŽđšđšđ đľđŽđđ˛ đđ˛đ
đđśđđľ..
"đ§đđŁđ đđđ đđđ đŁđĽđ˘đŠđđđ, đđđ đđđđ đ§đđĄđđđ¨đĄđđđđŞđđ"
Yes.
Maybe financially dia okay.
Maybe dia tak buat jahat.
Maybe dia "husband yang baik" by external standards.
đ§đŽđ˝đś đ˛đşđźđđśđźđťđŽđšđšđ?
đŹđźđ'đżđ˛ đđđŽđżđđśđťđ´.
Sebab Islam teaches đşđŽđđŽđąđąđŽđľ đđŽ đżđŽđľđşđŽđľ - love AND mercy.
Not just physical satisfaction.
Not just financial provision..
đđşđźđđśđźđťđŽđš đ˝đżđ˛đđ˛đťđ°đ˛.
đđźđťđđśđđđ˛đťđ đŽđłđłđ˛đ°đđśđźđť.
đđ˛đśđťđ´ đ°đšđźđđ˛ đđź đđźđđż đđ˝đźđđđ˛ đŻđđ¸đŽđť đđ˛đŻđŽđŻ đđźđ đđŽđťđ đđźđşđ˛đđľđśđťđ´ đąđŽđżđś đąđśđŽâđŻđđ đđ˛đŻđŽđŻ đđźđ đŽđ°đđđŽđšđšđ đđđđ đŻđ˛đśđťđ´ đťđ˛đŽđż đđľđ˛đş..
đđđđ đđđđđđ§đđ˘đĄ đđđĄđŹđ đđđ đđđđ đđđ đĄđđ đŚđđŤ:
You start feeling:
â Like object, bukan partner
â Like your emotional needs don't matter
â Like intimacy is about HIM, not US
â Disconnected from your own body (sebab why bother enjoying something yang feels so one-sided?)
And here's the painful irony:.
đ§đľđ˛ đşđźđżđ˛ đľđ˛ đđżđ˛đŽđđ đśđťđđśđşđŽđ°đ đŽđ đđżđŽđťđđŽđ°đđśđźđťđŽđš (đ'đş đťđśđ°đ˛ đđź đđźđ â đđźđ đ´đśđđ˛ đşđ˛ đđ˛đ
)
đ§đľđ˛ đđđŚđŚ đđźđ đŽđ°đđđŽđšđšđ đđŽđťđ đśđ.
Sebab who wants to be intimate dengan someone who makes you feel invisible the rest of the time?.
"đđđĄđđŁđ đ đđđđ đĄđ?"
Dia dapat:
â Emotional connection from you consistently (you cook, you care, you manage household, you're PRESENT)
â Physical satisfaction bila dia nak
You dapat:
â Affection... when convenient for him
â Emotional presence... when he wants something
â Touch... when he's h***y
đ§đľđ˛ đżđ˛đđ đźđł đđľđ˛ đđśđşđ˛?
đŹđźđ'đżđ˛ đźđť đđźđđż đźđđť.
Marriage isn't supposed to be:
"I'll be emotionally present untuk you only when I need s*x from you."
đ§đľđŽđ'đ đťđźđ đśđťđđśđşđŽđ°đ.
đ§đľđŽđ'đ đđđśđťđ´ đđźđşđ˛đźđťđ˛..
"đ§đđŁđ đ đđđđ đ đđĄđ đĄđđ đđđđđŁ đđđĄđđđĄ đđđ?"
This is the problem.
Ramai wives rasa:
"Kalau I complain, dia akan fikir I'm rejecting him s*xually."
"Kalau I cakap I need more affection, dia akan terasa."
"Kalau I explain I rasa macam object, dia akan marah or defensive."
đŚđź đđźđ đˇđđđ... đąđśđŽđş.
đđťđąđđżđ˛.
đđśđđ°đźđťđťđ˛đ°đ đđšđźđđšđ đśđťđđśđąđ˛.
And intimacy becomes something you do sebab kena, bukan sebab nak.
Sebab how can you desire someone yang only desires you when it's convenient?.
đđĄđ đ§đđ đŞđ˘đĽđŚđ§ đŁđđĽđ§?
He doesn't even realize.
Dia fikir everything okay.
Sebab physically, things are "working."
He's getting what he needs.
đđ˛ đąđźđ˛đđť'đ đđ˛đ˛:
That you're just going through the motions.
That your heart isn't in it anymore.
That you've learned to disconnect sebab connecting hurts too much.
đđ˛ đąđźđ˛đđť'đ đżđ˛đŽđšđśđđ˛:
Every time he ignores you emotionally for daysâ
Then suddenly wants intimacyâ
You die a little bit inside.
Sebab it confirms what you feared:
đ'đş đťđźđ đđŽđšđđ˛đą đŽđ đŽ đ˝đ˛đżđđźđť.
đđđđ đŽđ đŽ đŻđźđąđ đľđ˛ đľđŽđ đŽđ°đ°đ˛đđ đđź..
đ§đđđŚ đđŚ đŞđđŹ đŞđđŠđđŚ đŚđđ¨đ§ đđ˘đŞđĄ:
Bukan sebab they don't want intimacy.
đŚđ˛đŻđŽđŻ đđľđ˛đ đąđźđť'đ đđŽđťđ đđź đłđ˛đ˛đš đ¨đŚđđ.
Bukan sebab they're "tak ada mood."
đŚđ˛đŻđŽđŻ đđľđ˛đśđż đşđźđźđą đđŽđ đ¸đśđšđšđ˛đą đŻđ đşđźđťđđľđ đźđż đđ˛đŽđżđ đźđł đ˛đşđźđđśđźđťđŽđš đťđ˛đ´đšđ˛đ°đ.
Bukan sebab they're cold or unaffectionate.
đŚđ˛đŻđŽđŻ đśđ'đ đľđŽđżđą đđź đđđŽđ đđŽđżđş đđźđđŽđżđą đđźđşđ˛đźđťđ˛ đđľđź đźđťđšđ đťđźđđśđ°đ˛đ đđźđ đđľđ˛đť đđľđ˛đ'đżđ˛ đľđźđżđťđ.
And the cycle deepens:
â He ignores her emotionally
â She disconnects s*xually
â He feels rejected
â He withdraws more emotionally
â She disconnects even more
đ¨đťđđśđš đśđťđđśđşđŽđ°đ đŻđ˛đ°đźđşđ˛đ:
Not a expression of love.
đđđ đŽ đđźđđżđ°đ˛ đźđł đ˝đŽđśđť.
Not a connection.
đđđ đŽ đżđ˛đşđśđťđąđ˛đż đźđł đľđźđ đŽđšđźđťđ˛ đđźđ đłđ˛đ˛đš..
đŹđ˘đ¨ đđđŚđđĽđŠđ đđđ§đ§đđĽ đ§đđđĄ đ§đđđŚ.
You deserve a husband who:
â Peluk you spontaneouslyâbukan just as "warmup" untuk s*x
â Cakap sayang sebab he FEELS itâbukan sebab he wants something
â Sentuh you with tenderness throughout the dayâbukan just when he's aroused
â Present emotionally BEFORE expecting you to be present physically
đŹđźđ đąđ˛đđ˛đżđđ˛ đśđťđđśđşđŽđ°đ đđŽđťđ´ đŽđ°đđđŽđšđšđ đśđťđđśđşđŽđđ˛.
Where affection isn't currency for s*x.
Where emotional closeness isn't conditional.
Where you feel LOVED bukan used.
đđťđą đđťđđśđš đđľđŽđ đ°đľđŽđťđ´đ˛đ:
đŚđ˛đ
đđśđšđš đŽđšđđŽđđ đłđ˛đ˛đš đ˛đşđ˝đđ.
đĄđź đşđŽđđđ˛đż đľđźđ đşđŽđťđ đđśđşđ˛đ đśđ đľđŽđ˝đ˝đ˛đťđ.
Sebab what you're craving isn't more physical intimacy.
đđ'đ đ˛đşđźđđśđźđťđŽđš đđŽđłđ˛đđ.
đđ'đ đłđ˛đ˛đšđśđťđ´ đđ˛đ˛đť, đđŽđšđđ˛đą, đ°đľđ˛đżđśđđľđ˛đą đťđźđ đˇđđđ đđľđ˛đť đľđ˛ đđŽđťđđ đđźđđż đŻđźđąđ, đŻđđ đŽđšđđŽđđ.
And that's not too much to ask.
đ§đľđŽđ'đ đšđśđđ˛đżđŽđšđšđ đđľđŽđ đşđŽđđŽđąđąđŽđľ đđŽ đżđŽđľđşđŽđľ đşđ˛đŽđťđ..
đ đĽđ˛đŽđ°đ đ¸đŽđšđŽđ đđźđ'đđ˛ đ˛đđ˛đż đłđ˛đšđ: "đđśđŽ đ°đđşđŽ đ°đŽđżđś đđŽđđŽ đŻđśđšđŽ đťđŽđ¸ 'đśđđ'. đŚđ˛đšđŽđśđť đđ, đ'đş đśđťđđśđđśđŻđšđ˛."
đŚđľđŽđżđ˛ đ¸đŽđšđŽđ đđľđśđ đľđśđđ đđźđź đ°đšđźđđ˛ đđź đľđźđşđ˛.
