13/06/2025
PAPA 爸爸
I believe everyone was shocked with what happened at dawn of 12 June 2025 of a double murder. Some started creating videos while some started predicting the motives.
If you are someone who understands Cantonese, I recommend you to watch PAPA 爸爸, based on true story. This movie showed some beautiful strong messages about mental health.
A father who chose to switch career from a butcher to a cafe owner (life transition) to support his small family consisted of his late wife, late daughter and son. His life was torn apart when his son struck the cleaver multiple times at midnight that took both his wife’s and daughter’s life. His son (Ming) called the police after the event and surrendered himself after he regained consciousness post the event.
Ming, 15, was diagnosed with schizophrenia during the trial. He was sentenced to warded at an asylum in which is equal to life imprisonment. The whole movie showed clear early signs that most of us swept under the rug. Ming has difficulty sleeping and kept hearing voices in his head telling him to reduce the population. He also experienced school bullying and suffer everything in silence including beating himself at abdomen and head.
Being in this situation, it was a very hard position. A father needed to absorb that his son is ill but at the same time, he also took two souls of his beloved. He blamed himself for not being attentive enough of his son. He even requested if both the bodies can be put in the same coffin as his daughter was very close to the mother.
Both Ming and dad needed space for grieving in which they did not have. Dad puts a lot of pressure on himself but he learned a method to bring him back to here and now when he saw a lady teaching a child with autism how to tone down; counting numbers. They avoided the conversation of what happened for a long time.
Psychology students would know grief consists of denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. It took both of them long enough to finally cry and grief. They attended family therapy to understand the situation better. That was also the time Ming told his father about the 24/7 cafe took away their happiness.
In traditional Asian families, we do not convey our love much. Instead, we swallow all the dissatisfaction. We hide from people even those closest to us. We expect our children to know the rules. Unspoken rules are expected to be known. Thing that are supposedly easy being made complicated.
Ming’s father had to go through all the grief in order for him to accept and reconcile with Ming as he is not just a son but also an enemy. They both sook closure they did not get. Dad practiced letter writing to express his emotions and he received a letter from Ming when he was almost 18 seeking for his father’s forgiveness besides reminding him to take good care of himself as his 18th birthday wish.
When his dad visited him during his birthday, Ming decided to tell his father what happened that midnight. The touching part was when his father said “Nope, we do not need to discuss anything about it unless it helps or improvise your condition. If not, at least not today.”. Can you see the power of saying sorry? It gave dad a huge closure.
Ming decided to go on anti-psychotic drugs after two years in asylum and he eventually got better. The judges reviewed his condition and released him several years later. Yes, both of them needed to live with guilt from then on.
Now, back to our Melaka case. I am unsure of what happened but I believed man-slaughtering is not an easy action. There must be signs of mental health issues. There must be triggers.
All in all, mental health does not give someone a permit to commit crime but noticing little things in life gave us the power of prevention. Drugs might help people in the way they are designed yet in the process, connectedness, connections, support system, love, willingness to change, reconciliation between self and others and most importantly, redemption of your life gave you the locus of control in long run.
I believe we all want to know “Why” behind something happened. Yet knowing why is not always the closure. Sometimes, knowing the past isn’t helpful, knowing what “I can do” might brings better motivation.
There is no ONE correct answer in mental health. No ONE true cause. No ONE cure. Hence, a combination of biology, social and culture could better assist.
Did I inspire you to watch a movie today? Let me know!
In Realm of Consciousness, Grace & Mercy,
Jackie Yong
Senior Counselling Psychologist
KB08800 | PA08404
