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BirthInk HypnoBirthing Malaysia, Kuala Lumpur (2025)

19/07/2025

Support.
What does that look like?
In the presence of birth, I am not there to dictate ANYTHING, I am merely there to support.
Support can be in the form of me hiding in the corner, while I observe things unfolding, where there is intimacy felt in the room, my presence should not be disruptive of the oxytocin.

Support can be me filling in for Gorilla, while gorilla takes on another task he deems more important , my hands to replace his for a moment, but not to replace his presence.

Support can be carrying the mom, when her legs can only drag her down, to be the crutches that breathes with her

Support can be knowing when to do nothing, to let her feel her own POWER so she knows that she is innately capable

Support is also to know when to steal her attention, if she shall forget the flow so that she may be eased back into her zone

Support is not to narrow her options, but to let her know what is possible, and happily walk by her in the choices SHE makes.

Support is being by her side, even when it's difficult, not just difficult for her but difficult for me, when she puts me out of my comfort zone or chooses something that my heart screams loud against, to support and RESPECT and honour her wishes

Support can be sticking by, even when your gut says "this is going to get messy, you can save yourself the trouble, this is going to turn around and bite you" - yes even when the blame will be turned to me, I still support her.

Support is letting her story, her version be heard, understood and validated, even though you hear the other end of things and that didn't quite match her story, her story is important and of value.

And honestly, what I can say is that rarely do mothers get GENUINE SUPPORT, in a world where we know so much the impact of mental wellness, rarely are birthing mothers fully supported.

My ask of you, is if you are her support person, if she trusted you to share what she wanted to do, support her wholly.

14/07/2025

This magical soul was sent to me five years ago to "merasmikan" a role I only dreamt of filling at that time. With her first baby she entrusted me to be a witness to the beautiful experience that unfolded in the comfort of their home. How can I forget that fateful day we spent, 40 weeks on the dot seeing yet another care provider, one that is supportive. It was like a date, a date with a family who was soon expanding from two to three. We spent the whole day together, seeing Dr, running errands, enjoying the chats and endless slices of lamb.

By night fall, she was sleepy and feeling something, but with all that feel good vibes it felt just like another awesome day. The next morning after sunrise, I got a text asking for me to be there, Moe said, "Shal is asking for you Ru", time to make my way, just about 2hrs after my arrival, we see his appearance and I told Moe, who looked a little frozen at that time "There's your baby, look at him, see he is twitching his eyes and mouth" and the rest was history.

This is the woman who opened her womb to allow me in her space, her home for the home birth of her son, first born, my first Doula-Homebirth experience. The start of a wonderful journey. Till today she always welcomes me warmly.

I say what I said again, Thank you for the trust. The trust you had learned to gain in your own ability.

09/07/2025

Two similar situations but different experience
1. "I cannot push, I felt like it but there was just no opening"
A. after pushing on my back being dilated 10cm, they said baby pemakan najis and wheeled me in for a cesarean
B. after fearing the pain, they told me to walk and squat, and gave me encouragement, energy and support, I could feel the progress and finally he came
2. "I told them I am cold"
A. they directed the Aircon at me, and when I asked my husband to put the Aircon down they scolded and said I'm having a fever.
B. they blanket me, kept me warm with a heating pad, gave me warm drinks and nourished me until I felt better

After having a traumatic emergency cesarean, they wanted to be able to have that natural birth experience. In some sense she got to rewind and redo things this round, but on her terms.

Planning for that birth, is also waiting and respecting it for when it comes. She texts me "Hello Ru, today is 41w+3days... baby moving as usual... So wait lagi?"

You see baby had planned to wait for Godmother to be ready, and for good timing. Who are we to deny their innate intelligence?

So this round she got to heal from that experience, she got to redo and did things the way it could have gone.

I believe every women HAS the opportunity to experience this kind of birth. It's not about the place, but about the support. And my hope is that the system navigates to provide care that matters to each and every mom and baby. Stop giving excuse about how there's not enough resources and misrepresenting risks.

05/07/2025

These are big wins for me, one mother at a time.

How you give birth is not dependent on some random luck, and no 30% cesarean rate is not normal or low, it's super freaking high. Too high that its risk doesn't outweigh the benefits. It's damaging moms and babies.

And no, a vaginal birth is not the same as a cesarean. Now you can have a gentle positive cesarean which is much easier for you and recovery but its still a striking difference from a vaginal birth, what more from a well prepared natural (ahem HypnoBirthing) vaginal birth.

It's not the cesarean that I have a problem with, it's the coercion and the misinformation that corners women to birth in ways that don't support their wellbeing way more often than it should that bugs me. And that birth is so beautiful the way nature intended, if more women realised this they wouldn't fear it, esp not the "pain" of it.

Prevent the first cesarean, but if you missed the boat (well because a lot of times as a first time parent most still have that doubt) then PREVENT THE SECOND CESAREAN. It doesn't matter if you will be having more kids or not, your body deserves it, and so does your baby. I say this, while acknowledging how difficult it is to do it in our society since our system isn't set up to encourage healthy natural births. I say this knowing that you will need and deserve a heck lot of support to achieve this.

22/06/2025

From Raub to PJ

"Last Tuesday mommy took me for a drive to Raub to visit a client, with my siblings. There I p**ped twice and held her to look at me long enough before allowing her to engage in social activities, my siblings had yummy fried meehoon with juicy sweet pineapple, but nah I only wanted milk. I could hear them talk about farming and dodol but I preferred to be in Mama's arms. Then we rushed home for a pit stop, it was a pleasant journey for me as I got to sleep the WHOLE way. Another diaper change was evident because which baby can hold their poo? Icky. Then we went to visit another of her client. This one was in a roaring phase, it was like white noise (music) to my ears. Apparently they said I slept through the whole ordeal, except for when I was famished, mama says I'm a hungry b**b monster, but she doesn't seem to run away from me, I must be a cute monster. I have no idea what they were talking about through all that white noise, but I did see a cutie pie at the end of it.

P.S Mama is having a promotion - Book her Doula service and get one free Mini doula (Ahem, me, how else are you going to get my autograph) oh and she says she's only doing distances that I can tolerate, I don't know what she means by that."

12/06/2025

"Amma, Appa, Muruga & F*** all in a sentence" - the highlight of the birth debrief. The art of birth is in its primal form, which I sometimes feel is not shared in positive light enough. Yes on one hand, I see alot of calm births, but on another hand, those primal births are just as it is. They are raw, grunty, and the observer sometimes has not a clue what mom is going through.

For a mom who had a positive birth the first round, yes cesareans don't necessarily equate to trauma. The second round also ended up in a positive birth, yes natural births don't necessarily equate to trauma either.

But does that mean challenge free? Even the strongest of Mama's can have doubts as she learns to trust her body, the voice inside doesn't always match the surrounding vibes. As the days grew nearer to her EDD, the doubts did rise. There was so much of bouncing on option a, or option b, or what if we were in-between options. I had an inkling she'd go easily to 41w, but at 39w she had a bout of surges for half a day. Then they stopped. Imagine being all so excited for baby to come then feeling like it's all just a false alarm. Imagine knowing that your body is doing work to get baby out, but not knowing exactly what's happening, day after day, as the Dr visits became frequent, being told that dilation was yet still the same. Yet having things happen in the body, without a certain pattern. It does get daunting, and difficult to trust.

Some seeds take longer to emerge from the soil but forget not to water it everyday. Just like some labours are doing it's thing to progress, keep steadfast at it and support your body is the best way forward. It can feel like there is no progress, but trust that THERE IS PROGRESS.

And eventually a little past 41w, walks, massage, chiro, fascia release, (and food) her body picks up the pace ready for the last haul. She gives birth hours after admitting in the hospital. Gorilla did remind the team to give her rest, during which she felt baby descending. (Even rest can be progress) And shortly after baby was born.

Yes a natural birth in a hospital, a happy proud strong willed mama and her amazing Octopus -Gorilla. Team effort. ❤️

07/06/2025

It's been a blessing to be able to share with expecting parents on how to be more informed about births

I really appreciate reviews and feedbacks ❤️

Want to wish all of you, Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha, each and everyone of you, sorry juggling with a newborn reminds me how limited my resources are to text each and everyone.

But it's been a lovely time bonding with small cute fingers and feet. I am still doing what I do by the way, just perhaps chilling on the social media post a bit more. If anything please reach out. That's the easiest way to know what's happening and any schedule updates.

❤️

10/05/2025

Bismillah
Another Birthink Collection
This pregnancy was a surprise long awaited one. Been blessed with 3 natural births, No4 should be a straightforward case. But even still there were fears, which contributed to the low profile pregnancy. What if all the other 3 births were a fluke? What if pregnancy abruptly halts? fears.

It was a tough pregnancy, the tiredness, trying to keep up was impossible, neglected house chores was the routine. Thank goodness for the older kids, they were a gem of help. There was so much internal chaos this round, and towards the end there was sadder news that shook the belief that everything will be fine.

Also, baby stayed breech even at 37weeks. This was finally the time to actively slow down at work, and prepared for what might be a breech birth. Confidence that was once high dropped to the lowest point. What if what if what if.

There's been over a month of prodomal labour, one day out with a friend the prodomal surges felt very frequent. Almost a month later, 3rd May, it came to the point of just waiting for baby, not expecting anything, woke up with cravings, headed out, surges were very sparsed, but didn't realize that she needed to tune out and concentrate each time they did come. When she came home, she was alone with the 3 kids and her bump. Thinking she'd pass time watching two movies, but they started to become annoying and strong. She reminded the kids to "hush up" when the surges came. She'd had a few birth shows by then, but very smeary and little. The kids a bit of in a blur land, not aware that she was quite in labour, was told to start the pool, post the affirmations and setup.

She needed to counter pressure her tailbone, against the wall she pressed hard when the surges came to create a relief, there was a lot of vocal expression this round. The intensity was not as how she remembers it, they were a bit of an ouchie. Yes she thought of surrendering, hospital, csec, what-if again, how many hours would she have to endure, she needs to remind herself to breathe, like she tells the moms to do so often.

31/03/2025

Sunday's Surprise Birth, in a surprise location. What a way to celebrate Eid Mubarak. The minute she discovered HypnoBirthing and Homebirth, she was determined to journey down this path.

Amidst the hecticness of her already busy schedule, she found time to sit for classes in February and repeated in March, happily travelling from the depths of Shah Alam and every time coming for class super early.

Although it didn't go as planned (does birth ever truly go as planned?) but she was prepared ! she still managed to have a wonderful, smooth and healthy HypnoBirthing experience. That's why I always emphasize on birth education, no matter what and where, birth education stays with you. Applicable in any situation.

Laughing afterwards, because she said she can't compare to a traumatic experience, since she didn't even get the opportunity to have a traumatic experience.

31/03/2025

In the midst of baby sniffing, I wanna wish you all, Selamat Hari Raya. There was after all a Raya Baby, unexpected surprise birth in an unexpected surprise location.

All is well mom doing good.

I'm doing good too, in case you are asking 🤩

Slow start to the festive season, but we got one whole month to enjoy. So hope you enjoy what this Raya brings, make it as magical as you can, because time is worth being spent having a blast.

❤️Ru

28/03/2025

"I think the light is tonight" 🦍
On late Tuesday night, she finally felt certain that this was labour happening, after about 3 weeks of much strong practice labour. I arrived half an hour before Wednesday, and saw her comfortably resting in her tub. Chilled, they were strong but she coped well. She had gotten out, moved a bit, tried to lie down, didn't like it, stood on her toes when the surges came, standing in front of her dressing table.

The presses (counter pressure) on the hips helped her externally manage the surges, while internal dialogue was all over the place - the transition phase started, you know the time you doubt yourself and wonder why you want to opt for natural labour.

Sitting on the toilet bowl gave great comfort, and when she says "I want to P**p" my head wonders if it's time, (is that p**p a signal for baby?)

Soon after I heard the grunts, oh that's definitely the sign. Gorilla was very busy in the background setting up the water in the pool, it was ready just in time. As she gets herself in the pink Tesco pool, her grunts turning into puffs, taking it easy as she feels baby sliding down. With a mirror I can see crowning taking place, a signal to the gorilla to be ready. He pretends to have forgotten that he's done this once already, "what do I do, oh the head is out", waiting for the body to be released, and finally picking the baby up the surface.

Another wonderful smooth experience, the older kids were fast asleep and didn't budge with all the noise happening.

Smooth, safe, and magical.

Now that everything is settled, Alhamdulillah, will I get to enjoy my Raya with another birth? Thank you for the trust again, and this time with improvements.

Oh the cat? She was waiting, a little bit anxious, the whole time.

#40+6

15/08/2024

Randomly bumped into my Angel last Wednesday. My search for HypnoBirthing led me to her. She has this super chilled character, and makes everything seem breezy and smooth. She comes with a wealth of experience but her mannerism was always more laid-back, spiritual, believer of nature's way. Her advice was simple, always lacking technical stuff for someone like me. Which taught me to embrace and let go for my 50hrs birth.

I would never ever be able to repay her, Even if she was only there for my first births, she single handedly changed my view on birth. Why I'm so drawn to births is because of her.

She didn't influence me to do anything, yet she opened so many doors for me. Homebirth was my choice, but for everything else that happened afterwards, she had a mega imprint on me. Homeschooling, leidloff, independent children. Even if we rarely spoke or saw each other. She will always be someone I love wholeheartedly

She's the reason, I know birth as a natural celebratory event. If you think, "well but you don't need her to give birth" true because my second and third births were just me and hubby, but I also don't need machines, vaginal exams, etc. In comparison she brings much light and health into my birthing space, whereas otherwise we're just drenched in fears, beeping sounds, and "progress". What I needed her for was to break the stigma.

If you know her, you have been blessed to know her.

BirthInk HypnoBirthing Malaysia

19/07/2025

14/07/2025

09/07/2025

05/07/2025

22/06/2025

12/06/2025

07/06/2025

10/05/2025

31/03/2025

31/03/2025

28/03/2025

15/08/2024

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