Cheryl Chin - Mental Health Counsellor

05/04/2026

21/03/2026

21/03/2026

The opposite of belonging is FITTING IN!

21/03/2026

In therapy, I invite clients to gently explore what is the primary problem. Symptoms are the invitation to deeper needs.

14/03/2026

One of the reasons why many working adults struggle is from the strong belief that it’s better to separate work from personal life. The rigid and cautious level of compartmentalization, suppressing the genuine SELF at the workplace, which usually takes 1/3 of our time, can be a risky approach.

01/03/2026

💣 Your nervous system is wired by what it first experienced as love.

If love felt conditional, you may chase approval.
If love felt unpredictable, you may crave intensity.
If love felt emotionally distant, you may feel drawn to people who keep you guessing.

This isn’t weakness.
It’s imprinting.

Psychology calls it repetition compulsion — the unconscious pull to recreate familiar attachment dynamics in hopes of finally “getting it right.”

Your romantic life doesn’t expose you to shame you.
It reveals where you were first wounded.

And the moment you understand that…
you stop asking, “Why do I keep choosing the same person?” and start seeing, “Something in me is still trying to be loved the way I never was.”

If you’re tired of repeating the same romantic pattern in different bodies, start where it actually began.

I Didn’t Choose to Be Born helps you understand the childhood blueprint.
Chasing Love That Hurts shows you how that blueprint plays out in your love life.

Both are available now — link in bio 🤍

13/02/2026

Just a few ideas for how to check in and stay connected.

Disclaimer: Content is for educational purposes and doesn’t constitute therapy. Posts are generalized and may not fit all individuals or situations. My posts don’t speak to situations of abuse, active addiction, or certain mental health conditions.

13/02/2026

In our relationships, we have control over one thing: ourselves. We cannot control our partner(s), though changing our own behavior can sometimes have influence, potentially impacting the relational pattern or dynamic.

For example, if your partner tends to yell when they’re upset, you cannot make them stop yelling. You can, however, let them know that when they raise their voice, you feel anxious/flooded/scared. You can let them know that you need to take a break and leave the room. By doing this, it may influence the course of the interaction.

Regarding relationship issues, focusing on ourselves is often more empowering and therapeutic. Trying to change someone else can often feel defeating.

[Image description: A Venn diagram of two intersecting circles. The first circle is labeled, “partner,” the second circle is labeled, “self,” and the intersection is labeled, “relationship.” Next to the partner circle, there’s an arrow next to the words, “what you cannot control.” Next to the relationship intersection is an arrow next to the words, “what you can influence.” Next to the self circle is an arrow next to the words, “what you can control.”]

Disclaimer: Content is for informational purposes and doesn’t constitute therapy. Posts are generalized and may not fit all individuals or situations. My posts don’t speak to situations of abuse, active addiction, or certain mental health conditions.

11/12/2025

Building the support systems we need starts with the belief that we can all participate in, and benefit from, a village.

22/11/2025

We talk a lot about teaching, correcting, and shaping our children…
but none of it lands without connection.

A child doesn’t follow guidance because we’re bigger, louder, or in charge.
They follow it because they feel safe with us.
Because the relationship matters to them.
Because their nervous system is steady enough in our presence to actually hear what we’re saying.

Connection isn’t the soft alternative to discipline — it’s the foundation that makes discipline meaningful.

When a child feels understood, they’re more open.
When they feel respected, they’re more receptive.
When they feel valued, they’re more willing to trust our lead.

That’s why the real work happens before the instruction ever leaves our mouth — in the tone we use, the presence we offer, the relationship we choose to protect.

Because guidance only really sticks when a child feels anchored to the person giving it. ❤️

Quote Credit: ❣️

Follow & for more

12/11/2025

Emotional connection is what can turn a relationship from familiar to safe. When you share your inner world, your feelings, fears, and hopes, your brain releases oxytocin. This is the “bonding” hormone that helps us feel calm, grounded, and seen.

Unfortunately, for many people, that kind of intimacy can feel both deeply desired and threatening at the same time.

You see, your nervous system remembers how safe (or unsafe) it once felt to be vulnerable. So, if opening up feels scary, or if your partner shuts down when you try, your body (or theirs) might be moving to protection mode.

I would love for you to see these questions as an invitation. They are meant to help you gently build a bridge of emotional safety over time by learning each other’s inner worlds through conversation.

To make it feel less like an interrogation, avoid asking them all at once. You don’t even need to get a “deep” answer. Sometimes, just showing interest and listening with curiosity can begin to rewire what connection feels like in your nervous system.

And remember, emotional intimacy is build through consistency, presence, and repair, not perfection. As both partners begin to feel safe, vulnerability starts to feel more like love.