08/02/2017
Does my painting vibrate you as how it vibrate me?
Cause I feel it so strongly.
Went thru some process these few days after I have completed this 4 in 1 canvas painting.
Day 1.
The vibration, the love, the weakness, the pain from my inner self. So mixed up, so messed up.
I'm so startled yet I feel familiar. (Familiar as if yes, I used to be like that, that brave, that love, that motivated, that happy, that I don't give a damn, that you go to hell and mind your own business, what now?)
Day 2.
I'm scared when it's coming back.
I feel my body, is weak.
But it's so excited, it's burning hot.
My blood are boiling.
My cells are vibrating.
Day 3.
I'm angry.
I don't know why.
Then I know why.
I couldn't speak for myself.
Then I speak for myself.
I felt I've done too much!
Too much that I have to shout it out!
The fire in me.
Keep on burning.
So powerful.
That's the awakening of the real me.
I thought awakening is just about telling myself, "oh yes, now you remember. "
In fact, I'm scared. I'm scared to be real. Scared To be remembered.
Day 4.
Keep on connect with ME.
Meditate and sing mantra.
The feel through the body is harsh and extreme. Don't feel like doing anything because it's too weak to move about.
However, the feel from the heart is so gentle, so much love and secured that I'm taken care.
Light up 🕯the heart.
Lie down on it.
I hear the voice,
"Love Your uneasy to love,
Love Your pureness,
Love Your sexiness.
Don't be afraid.
Don't be ashamed.
Don't hide.
Live up.
Jump.
Dance.
Be happy. "
Topic : ACCEPTANCE
I saw what I'm denying, what I feel weak, what I feel ugly, is actually my STRENGTH.
Accept it, is the only way to feel good (good to gain back my power again! Imagine in a game when you're so weak, then you found your power and get more lives and then move on. That's how I recharge myself from arts. You know maybe you'll be weak again, still... you need to keep searching the power in order to survive. )☺☺☺
I hope my paintings can give you the energy power. (That's what my mom and her friends always say to me... and that freak me out for awhile also. I didn't know my paintings can do wonders like that. But, good to know!)
Whether you just like it as beautiful arts, or it vibrates your heart, like how it vibrates my heart, thanks for supporting me by buying my mandalas!