FlakkysVoice

22/08/2025

My Mind is on My Mind... 💭

02/06/2022

Is He Sick or Not: Mental Health versus Mental Illness

There was an argument going on at the supermarket that day.
A voice against others.
After sometime on the long queue at the other counter, I could delineate the prominent voices.

Voice: "Preposterous! ludicrous! absolute nonsensical assertions.
My very respected person takes exception to the way this matter is being handled."

Manager: excuse me Sir, you cannot tell us that............

Voice: Preposterous! preposterous.....

Manager: You must be mad. You madddd man! Crazy man.

Voice: Objection! Absolute objection! Who do you say is mad? This is a slander on my very personable self. If you don't know, the law takes a stand against the libellous labelling and gross misrepresentation of any citizen of the land. According to Section blah blah under the Nigerian constitution, you cannot.......blah blah blah....

Back and forth, the arguments went. Who is the Mr Grammar that the store people were fighting with?
What is causing this fight sef?

Suddenly, the voice called out.....
Dr Ogundele! Dr Ogundele!

Funny, there is another Dr Ogundele also here.

Then again the voice rang out
Dr Ogundele, I am the one calling you. It's me, Mr James.

People were looking in my direction. I too was looking in my own direction but no one else responded to the name.
I am the Dr Ogundele being called oh.
Okayyyy, so who was it?
Lo and behold it was Mr James, the Grammarian. A face from the past.
Oh nooooo! Why me?

What does Mr James say next? Haaaaa, it is a very embarrassing moment to remember.

He shouts: You seeeee! Ahaaaa! This is Dr Ogundele, the mad doctor. She is one of the best of the best, mad personnels in this Abeokuta. If she says that you are mad, then you are mad.
Dr Ma, come and prove my sanity. Is my medulla oblongata correct?

Egbami! Mogbe. In front of plenty strangers. Which type of introduction is this? Are there still people who use these types of archaic, stigmatising language when talking about mental health issues?

All eyes on me. Are people snickering at me? Did they just move some few spaces away?

Mr James: Dr Ogundele come thither! Come thither. Come and attest to my very present, stable state of mind.

What's with all these bogus English sef? Which one is "come thither"?

He was insistent and so I went to see what his business was all about and why I needed to prove his "sanity".

Do you know what the bickering was all about? The reason why our Mr James was holding a cashier/supermarket to ransom?

There was a mistake on the price label of an item he picked. The actual price on the supermarket's record was higher and so he was to either pay up the difference or drop the item. Simple something one will say abi but Mr James being Mr James started quoting constitutional rights and moving motion up and down that he had been deceived with intent to embarrass. He won't agree.

After their narration, he turns to me.
So Dr Ogundele am I insane?

Me: No, I don't think so.

Manager looks at me incredulously: You mean he is mentally okay! The person talking and reasoning like this is okay?? Which type of doctor are you?

Me: A doctor that treats people with mental health challenges and No, I am not saying he is mentally okay.

People burst out laughing.

Manager (now looks as if he wants to slap me): what are you saying gangan? He is not sick and yet he is not well? What is the meaning of this rubbish that you are saying?

Me: I am saying someone may not meet the criteria for a diagnosed mental disorder but that doesn't mean the person is mentally healthy. They are two different things Sir.

Manager: Rubbish! Rubbish! Nonsense doctor saying rubbish nonsense

Small time, manager and Mr James started physical fight. The store people said they were going to call police.
I didn't bother to even buy my own items again before I used style to reverse and leave the place.
Before someone will say, I was the one aiding and abetting Mr James. How much of English can I speak to bail myself? Who would come thither to plead my case?

Not everyone that has a negative mental health has mental illness.
Suboptimal mental health however, means that the affected person won't enjoy life to the fullest.
Poor mental health also has significant but negative imparts on quality of life.

If you always seem to be on the wrong side of people perhaps you need to assess if your mental health is okay.

For more reading: https://wellbeing.gov.bc.ca/difference-between-mental-health-and-mental-illness.

Folake Ogundele



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More than ever, people are aware of the importance of talking about mental health and mental illness. You might be hearing these terms more often. You might wonder what they mean or have questions: What’s the difference between mental health and mental illness? Is feeling sad or unhappy a sign of ...

30/04/2022

Rats Don't Chill with the Bigboyz

Once upon a 2002, when small money was still big money, there was a rat who lived among the sons and daughters of men.
This rat was a proud one. His only aspiration in life was to "do bamba; to chill with the big boys and to be eating the type of food that his forefathers did not eat".This vision was a good one but indeed a rat's vision as it was what made Mr Rat to pass his level.

Also in this same year 2002 was my friend and her suit.
My doctor friend bought a graduation, trouser suit in 2002 for a whooping sum of 6k and then hung in her closet to await the day that the kings of the land would invite for a feast.
Wear it to work now!
Instead she will answer "no ohhh. I bought it 6k now". Every free weekend, she will wear it in front of mirror to admire herself and then hang it back.

Now what relationship did my friend, her suit and Mr Rat have? You see, the rat decided to be chilling in my friend's room.
Rat saw books, it did not eat. It saw food, nah it didn't munch, rat now went and bit bu**um of the suut's pant. What disrespectful and punishable act!

Even if it ate it at the tip, e for maybe die gentle but stupid rat went and ate just a tiny part but enough that my friend saw red.

How dare a rat eat her sacred suit? From that day, Mr Rat became a wanted individual. Its days became numbered.
So like Naija police we started secret investigation and set a trap. Laslas after one week of active surveillance we caught Mr Rat. My friend beat it severely with everything beatable while repeatedly shouting at it "next time you will not eat what does not belong to you".

Hellooo. This is a rat o. I wanted to plead it's case but seeing the energy with which the rat was being assaulted, I decided it was better the rat's life than my peace. My friend done vex.

After the beating or near killing, Mr Rat was taken to the courtyard for public prosecution. People were astounded at the effrontery of the rat. They pointed fingers and gave more beatings. " You this rat ate a 6k suit at the bu**um! How wicked! Stupid rat! What a grievous sin!
There the people, mainly educated human beings oh! started accusing this rat of many sins.
" You ate my jollof rice; you always disturb my sleep; You made my oga to shout on me; you gave me a scare ............". Which accusation did they not accuse that day? Only this one rat in that town did all these? Na wa.

Pruuummmmhhh! Little time oh someone brought out bleach. They poured it on the rat. Mr Rat screeched, tears fell from its eyes or may be it was the bleach sha as its breaths went out.
The huge crowd, did they have pity? Of course not.

Next thing o, someone had brought kerosene and matches. Death by burning squad.
Pruuummmmhhh, Pruuummmmhhh they poured the kerosene and sharaaahh matches were lit. Mr Rat's body burned and burned. As the flames went out, people dispersed slowly with smiles on their faces. The enemy had been vanquished; at least for today a battle had been won. Tomorrow with it's own narrative. It didn't matter that it was against just a non-consequential thing. It was just that it erred and went against the laws of their land.
Rest in peace in your pieces, Mr Rat. Ohhh Mr Rat! May be if you reincarnate, you will know your level.

Why am I telling you this story now? It is because there is a lot of anger flying around in people these days. The harsh economy in the country is making it difficult for people to channel their frustrations and energy appropriately. Any little thing and then sparks begin to fly.

Don't be a victim. Don't be the rat who crossed it's boundaries with people, no matter who they are. Rats Don't Chill with the Bigboyz oh.
Some people have the cutest puppy look but underneath they are a raging bull dog. Avoid confrontations as much as possible especially in public. You don't know who you might be messing with.

Don't be a perpetuator, a rat killer. Learn how to better manage your anger and channel your inner battles well.

That your family or friend, colleague or acquittance, that stranger that just annoyed you is not your enemy.and definitely not the devil.
Be Calming Down.

Folake Ogundele
Consultant Psychiatrist

03/03/2022

*Excerpt from my Imagination*

She had been admitted that morning on account of a few hours history of irrational talk. Now she was calm but in pains and running a high fever. It was three days after the delivery of her son. The result of her abdominal ultrasound just came back and it confirmed our suspicion.

While we were going over her management plans, husband excused himself. He came back some few minutes later with a gray-haired, distinguished looking man. Somehow I had the impression that the man was the 'big-money' that called the shots in their family.
Husband asks politely to discuss with us and introduced the man as his uncle. He said the man had come to give the direction on how to treat the patient.

Hehehe. See this one. Treat kwa? Is that not why we, the health care team was there?
People Sha!

Me: Oh! Is he a doctor?

Mr Big-money, Big-shots: No. I am not a doctor but I don't want you people to stress yourselves or be confused; that is why I am here.

I looked at the nurse, the nurse looked at me.
Obs doctor looking angry already looked at all of us.
Obs doctor: "What do you mean confused? Do you think you can teach us our job?"

Mr Big-money: young man, this is not your job. You don't know anything about this case. You are a small boy, doctor. This case is above you honestly.

Obs doctor: Whaaaatttttt!

Me: I opened my mouth. I shut my mouth. My eyes bulge out. (in my mind): Haaaa! Mr Big-money, Big-shots, what are you saying?
What are you doing?
Thread carefully Sir before we conglomerate your head with our "gbongboloshi medical jargons". As doctors, we don't like to be patronised oh.

So before everything scatter, I decided to be the peace maker.
I turned to mr Big-shots and asked 'what do you think is going on exactly Sir.'

Mr Big-money: ehen, you are just talking.
You see this our wife is from a polygamous home.

Me: Sooooo????

Mr Big-money: Sooo, her stepmother fought with her mother on her wedding day. Big fight oh, that we (grooms family) even had to help them settle it.

Me: hennnn????

Sir Big-money: "And after marriage, she didn't get pregnant until after 2years. Two years!
Now after delivery, she's now misbehaving. So doctor, you see!

Me: I seeee???

Why is Mr Big-shots smiling? (The man is not reading my "I see" right o)

Mr Big-shots: I am sure by now you must be thinking what we are thinking.

Me (looking blank): What is all these now? Hennnn! Who are the we and what are 'we' supposed to be thinking together?

Mr Big-money: Haaa doctor, are you not from Yoruba land? This is a classic case of spiritual warfare now. I am sure they didn't expect her to deliver at all and to a male child for that matter.

Husband is now bobbing his head in agreement while the Obs Dr looks mad enough like he wants to slap some sound scientific sense into the husband but the at the sound of the patient on the bed crying, he seemed to calm down.

Me: ohhh. Hehen. Hummmm!
Ohhhhh I see. Finally!
But honestly, I really don't see anything at all. All these fights that people have that keeps coming back to haunt their offsprings in this our society.

To those with medical training, this was an open and shut case of puerperal sepsis. The woman was only talking irrationally because of the serious medical condition.

Indeed, she had more than her fair share of risks for infection. Her water had broken 2 days before delivery and some parts of the placenta that was retained in her womb had become infected. Anyone can talk irrationally if undergoing a serious infection.

How can we convince this man to allow us to treat this poor woman now?

Obs Dr: Daddy (Mr Big-shots had become daddy to even Obs doctor), since she's already here, why don't you allow us to do the evacuation of the placenta before she goes for whatever treatment your wish.

Mr Big-money: shaking his head vehemently. Dr, you are truly a small boy. In these matters, she is not supposed to take injection. I am a university graduate myself but I understand that orthodox medicine has it's limitations. The case will become complicated if she takes injection.
Let us sign the necessary documents and leave with her.

How does injection complicate puerperal sepsis in Holy's name? All these beliefs that people are believing all around and which are being perpetuated by general quacks and some greedy traditionally practitioners.

No matter how we pleaded or explained they would not listen. They didn't even ask her for her opinion.
We tried to get the husband alone to talk to him but he did not agree to follow us. The woman kept looking at us through her tears and pleading with us as she looked at us to stop the husband and his uncle but then she opened her mouth to tell us to allow her husband to sign her out against medical advice.
Her eyes and mouth spoke different things.
Why couldn't she speak up for herself? Where are her own relatives? May be they have ceded her whole person to their in laws.
At the end, they took the woman away. They promised to give her excellent spiritual treatment, whatever that meant.

Till today, I still think about the woman. Did she make it?

I think about her helplessness and how there was no room to make her voice heard.

I think about how wrong and unfair it was that a third party took that very important decision that could end the woman's life.

I think about how some people are literates but are still very ignorant in their minds.
I think about our culture, so rich, so interesting but at the same time so frustrating in some aspects. Our beliefs determines our attitude and behaviour and sometimes therein lies the basis of our suffering.

I think If I were given the opportunity to impact the world with my voice, I would speak for each woman to be empowered in matters that directly affect them; however each of us deem fit.

Folake Ogundele

.com

09/02/2022

Who Held the Knife?

Who Really Killed Bimpe?

"Visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation."_......Deuteronomy 5:9

I want to tell you a story. A Bimpe's Story.

You see, Bimpe was a sweet and naive young woman who used to be a living thing many years ago but is now a non-living thing. I never knew her but someone I used to work with told me the story about how she was alive but later became a "Was Alive but now dead".

However, I can't talk about Bimpe without first telling you about her parents.

Bimpe's father was a difficult man. A difficult man with serious anger issues. Not a day went by without him threatening to kill or maim or destroy and disable at least one member of his family.

Baba Bimpe had his own room that only him and his wife used to enter. Everyone was too afraid to enter the place. Abi which human being or beings or beingses will willingly decide to go into a slaughter ground wherein a terrorist father kept an arsenal of weapons under his bed; Petrol, cutlass, koboko bulaila, sticks of varying sizes, axe, dried pepper, blades etc.
Honesttttttttt......... True! You don't believe me abi. You don't know anything. We are talking about Baba Bimpe here ohhh. At least the one described to me
A man of few words, his slang in his home was " Ma wet e" (I will make your body wet- with petrol of course and then light it up.
"Ma pa e Sonu" (I will kill you throw away). Does that even make sense? 🤣🤣Sorry, Sorry. "Ma pa e Sonu" means "I will kill you off".
The "I will kill you off" is not just "I will kill you off" small small oh. It was usually said with fire, brimstones, hailstones and thunder. If those words were said to you hennnnnn, you will shock and if not careful your enemy will just die. The man was an embodiment of terror.

But you see, as much as his wife feared him, she also loved him. She was a staunch supporter and believer of "Till Death do Us Part". No matter the issues or threats, stay there by fire by force.

Bimpe was the first of five children (three girls, two boys) and an observer of her parents marriage and her father's erratic behaviour. Over time, she became indifferent to him; her father's volcanic eruptions to her became episodes of "Our father has Gone Mad Again".

By the time Bimpe was 23years old, their house had cooled down somewhat. The drama and flare were no longer a flaming red; more like a soft glow of coal flames. The father had reduced the weapons to just the sticks and cutlass.
Still, Bimpe did not hesitate to say "Yes" to her first marriage proposal. She had just finished her NYSC and was yet to get a job. The first man to come along was Jola. He was an English teacher in a primary school. Not much money but the guy could speak English like Prince Charles and romance a woman like Prince Charming.
Henceforth, she would not have to bear her father's rantings anymore.

Please small digression- as I am referring to what happened in the past, should it not be henceforthed or it's henceforth. Or may be even forthhence as per past tense. Please help my ministry oh. I am trying to improve my grammar before I contest the governorship election 2023.

Ok. What now happened? Who was Bimpe's husband after their marriage?
If we describe Baba Bimpe as Lion of his house, Jola would be the cub of his own house; a miniature terrorist.

A nag and a bully, who can bear with him? What was he nagging about? I asked but my own story teller didn't know too and so I don't know. Bimpe tried so hard to tolerate him but after her baby was delivered in the thirteenth month of their marriage, she could bare it no longer. He was just irritating that's all. The man could not even shout well, not to talk of thunder like her father. He annoyed her endlessly and she started to give it to him too. Fire for fire alone sha. No brimstone,no hailstone. By the nineteenth month of their marriage, a deadly fury began to brew in Jola's mind. He also could take it no more. He too began to threaten all sorts. It got so bad one particular night after a heavy round of vile altercations, he beat her so bad. His anger was literally hellfire. Incredibly frightening it was that instantly Bimpe knew with all clarity that her life had become the means of transaction in that marriage. When Jola ordered her to leave his house finally at about 10pm, Bimpe didn't hesitate. Ahhhhrrrrrr, her father with all his craziness never got to the depths of fury like this her husband. Suddenly, Jola without any dangerous object was more frightening than her father with his battle arsenals.

She ran to her parent's that night without her son. Jola had not released him. Her father on hearing Bimpe's story was so angry. He didn't bother to hide his fury. How could a lowly, Lilliputian, sorry-excuse for a man do this to his daughter? His own daughter. Him o, Baba Bimpe.
Ah No, rara-rara his daughter wasn't going back there.

Mama Bimpe: Haba! Daddy Bimpe, he was just a little angry. It's not up to that now. We should be settling the fight and not adding to it.

Baba Bimpe: "Shut up! Shut up foolish woman? A stupid fellow is harassing your daughter and you are making excuse for him."
"Bimpe, tomorrow, you will go and take your child and pack your things out of that stupid fellow's house. No daughter of mine will suffer any indignity from any man. None!

And that was the conclusion of the matter or so Baba Bimpe thought.

When it was 4am, Bimpe's mother came to wake her up.
" Bimpe, Bimpe, hmmm Bimpe! How many times did I call you? A woman's place is by her husband. You don't belong here in your father's house. Go back home, my dear. Stay with your husband. Work it out!"

Bimpe: "butttt Mommy, the man threatened to kill me. Kill me, mommy! He made it clear that he never wants to see me in his house again."

Mama Bimpe: "come off it jare! Which kill-you nonsense! Do you know how many times your father has threatened to kill me and how many times he will continue to do so? Your husband is not even half as wicked as your father and you stand here afraid of his mere reprimands. Mere words. He won't do anything.
Moreover, your son is still in that house." Go to your home dear.

With these words Bimpe's mother convinced her to sneak out before her father woke up. By about 4.51am she was already at home. Her maid opened the door to the house for her. Her baby was still sleeping. Jola was yet to come out of his room.
Straight to the kitchen she went. The way to a man's heart was through his stomach. That early, that morning Bimpe started the last meal preparation of her life.

When Jola came out of the room at about 5.30am, he saw the maid sweeping the floor and heard the noise in the kitchen.

The maid can't be in two places at the same time. "Who is in there?" He thundered but did not wait for the answer.
With angry strides he stormed to the kitchen to confirm his suspicion. That demon was back in his house? How dare the woman!
They say no one really knew how it happened but that morning after some moments of raised voices, the maid ran out to seek for people to intervene.
By the time they came, Bimpe had a knife sticking out of her neck.

Things fall apart!

The End of a Saga: A killing, A Life Ended and A Death.

Bimpe's killing: Her murder.

The ending of Jola's life: Life imprisonment after the death-by-hanging sentence was upturned.

The death of Bimpe's father's family.
Bimpe's father never forgave her mother.
The mother never forgave herself.
Bimpe's siblings never forgave their parents.

Domestic violence is what it is, domestic violence. There is no excuse for it. The impacts are high reaching; consequences so dire that there may not be room to undo the damages.
Perpetuators can be helped to identify their trigger factors and what could help in preventing the anger eruptions. There are different psychological treatment approaches which could be beneficial.

Safety first for All Victims.
Was Alive but now dead cannot be helped.
Alive but not enjoying life may still be helped.
Everyone's priority is to "Stay Alive".
Do all you can to stay alive.
If in an abusive relationship, your number goal is to stay alive.
Talk to someone about it; A professional to deal with the reality of the situation and not just the sentiments.

Folake Ogundele

04/01/2022

Happy New Year, my darling personal people.
Here's wishing you all positive vibes, cheerfulness and joyful moments with the right dose and mix of silliness this 2022.

Remember overthinking and pessimism is toxic to your emotional health.

13/12/2021

"Sometimes the person you'd rather take a bullet for is the one standing behind the trigger." (Anonymous)

I saw this ☝🏾quote today and immediately, the story of betrayal and it's impact on mental health started doing me to tell. Serious doing oh! Immediate, serious doing of telling!

There is something about betrayals; it's either you learn from it and get over it or it crushes you for life.
Now for every story of betrayal, there must first be a story of love or the illusion of it between the betrayer and the "betrayee".

You see now that I am older but still younger (better leave me and the description of my age alone)
Hehen jare, as I was saying, it is now that I understand that it was the illusion of love type that was doing Yemyem in our 100level university days.

Yemyem, my darling friend. We met during the first week of resumption of Univ. It was friendship at first sight. She had s***k and was cheeky to the core. I truly liked her personality.
She was also focused; within a week of lectures she had started to read as if she was vying for a Harvard scholarship. Huhunnn.

There came a day like that my serious friend, came back to the hostel in our second week of lectures to gist me about a guy she met while reading at the lecture theater.
The guy was a final year student. He was described (if I remember correctly) as tall, dark complexioned, mesmerizing eyes, nice lips and of course a baritone voice but he wasn't really handsome.
Me: Hehennn. (Girls sha. Really! He was all these but he wasn't handsome 🙄🙄🙄).

The guy had walked up to my friend and with all confidence told her that she was his wife.
Awwwhhhhaw!
Can you beat that?
Wife at 100level! Some guys can toast shege.

"So what did you now say', I asked.
Yemyem- smiles sheepishly: of course I hissed at him.
Me- You DID?
Yemyem- yes now. I told him I want to graduate before I marry.
Me- Excellent! That's it. You must face your studies and remain focused. You know these boys are just betrayers. Don't allow him to distract you jare.
I hope you chased him away after that sha.
Yemyem- hmmmm. (Looks away) He asked to be my friend and I agreed.
Me- haba how can you agree?
Yemyem- It's because I felt sorry for him. I will only be his friend. I won't be distracted.
Me- (and I truly believed her) just be careful.

That was the end of Victor, or so I thought.
About a week later I noticed that my friend had started coming back to the hostel later than her usual time.
This babe is seriously reading oh.

Then, it became "Victor this, Victor that". Where did you see Victor that he now doing all these things?

The gossip scouts brought their own gist. Yemyem is doing nightly strolls in the dark Block 6-10 walkway with a certain guy.
Last last, after 4 weeks my darling friend was bold enough to tell me that Victor and her were "deeply" in love.
Lovuuuu? Just like that?
The 100Level me was so, so disappointed. Did we not agree that graduation should come before love? This is betrayal now.
But what could I do? Nothing but to accept that my friend had just been "hooked".

I don't know how it happened oh but after sometime I observed my friend had truly turned into Mrs Victor. She was cooking for him at least once a day; most times it was her foodstuff and money. Orishirishi gifts and food eg Snail, fried rice, fresh fish stew and cow leg- things that normal students would not even dream of affording or buying. She would cook these for the guy and then eat concoction with the rest of us.
(Hellooo, Did you notice all the things I said Victor was eatingggg? This is where you are supposed to commiserate with me now🙄. Oyah Say "Pele Folake")

Ok let's continue.
She was also washing clothes and room cleaning for "our daddy". By then she was practically living in his room to attend to his "Other" needs.
Haaaaaa, May God forgive Victor and all the Victor-behaving men of this life.

You are saying what's my own abi? It was my own oh and very painful for me then watching my friend neglect her studies just to serve a man who would sometimes refuse to introduce her to some of his elite friends or stand up for her whenever it was necessary then.

It was during the second semester that Victor's love started to wane. Suddenly, he had a lot of work to do. Project work he said. Then he started spending a lot of time with one pelenge, yellow-pawpaw girl like that. The girl needed tutorial was his excuse. Mtcheewchhuuu! Don't call monkey a cow for me joor.

We, The Association of Concerned Yemyem's friends were so annoyed with him for this.
My friend who was the one failing her courses and still doing wifely duties was the one who required tutorials. We were the ones......😭😭😭😭 Sorry, it is not about us. Yemyem was the one who needed tutorial.😭😭😭😭
Then the reprimands- started. Wives don't do this, wives don't don't do that.
Even my body is biting me as I remember the emotional abuse he put her through.

This guy does not love you but Mba, our friend no hear word.
"I love him", she said. "Wives are meant to persevere. This is his trying period. I must support him.".

Finally, 3days to the start of second semester examination, our daddy Victor called her to inform her that she had not shown herself to be a wife material and so he was not "doing" again.

How can he not "do" again 3days to exam? "The heart of men is inherently wicked" (not all men oh; before you people will come and shout for my head)
That declaration sent our friend into a dummy mode. It was an incomprehensible loss. Throughout that day and the next she was just doing looku-looku. No food, no words, nothing at all. It was at the exams hall on the 3rd day that the dam of tears broke. They brought her back to the hostel. Watching her hurting was emotionally draining for us all. The only thing to console her was the one thing we didn't have- Victor.
We sent emisaries to go abegging but Bros no gree collect our friend back again.

So in the end, she failed miserably that semester and was asked to withdraw from her department. At that time she could have been allowed to change to another department but she opted to leave the university so as to avoid Victor.

I didn't see her again until after about 17years. Although, she had a thriving business, she was separated from her husband. Her two kids went with their father.
When I asked for the cause of the separation, she said they were always fighting because the man is/was a chronic womaniser. Supposedly, he had slept with every female in their estate and at his work place. Even his relationship with his mother was suspicious.

Really! How do you know that?

Yemyem replied- heeee Folake you don't know men. He always smiles while greeting them. Why would a married man smile when he sees women who aren't his wife if not that he has slept with them? And then, he calls his mother everyday. Everyday single day! Is that a normal relationship?

Lobatan. So married men are supposed to be frowning all around. Married men bia, is this true?
Delusion of jealousy galore. Mental health is definitely compromised here.
Ore we need to talk; as in really really talk.

"The first cut is the deepest."
Yemyem, an ardent lover of Love was at the end betrayed by love. So so sad. I doubt if Yemyem has ever fully recovered but she is more aware of how that incident at the univ affected her.

Betrayals will always happen. Don't let it crush you.
Use it as a stepping stone to get stronger.

Folake Ogundele