05/12/2024
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Brothers, make polygyny attractive...
*Re:'I am a strong fan of plural marriage, I like it, infact, when I was seriously searching for my second damsel, I respected myself and my first wife. I know it is wrong to be having unprintable stuff with an intending sister, no night calls or chats, no s*x chats or any form of immorality with a lady that I was yet to call a wife. In the presence of my first wife, I should not be receiving another woman's call, and be making lustful statements, 'I love you, I cherish you, you are my choco milo, meat pie etc ..... So throughout the conversation I had with the new sister coming in, I was very careful not to make that error, I knew making that mistake would already cause problem between them if I eventually marry the new lady. I was tactical, I know I needed to have wisdom, financial capacity and strength of the other room. And I tried to differentiate between 'my money' from 'our money' in order to avoid misgivings. As the husband, I made my wife see the sincerity in my action, that it's not to humiliate her. I did not want to be the one causing the problems between my wives, I have started preparation for the journey of plural marriage for a long time, I was not ready to be punished by Allah for my wrench. I played a role of a good husband to my wife years before informing her of my decision to take a second wife, she was comfortable that I would not disappoint her even after taking a new bride, I knew she needed me to give words of assurance and confidence. She assisted me greatly in selecting a nice woman for marriage. To be a better person in plural marriage, you need to be a good husband to your wife and a good father to your children. The sister that is planning to join should also have good intention, my first wife did not see her as a threat but a friend, so, sisters don't come to destroy but to complement.'*
Abu Sheikh