21/05/2022
YOUR SUGGESTIONS, NO INSULTS PLEASE.
I am at a crossroads with my wife.
She has three boys and she is no longer interested in the relationship of 9yrs with three boys.
I need her to come back but she is seeing another man already cos I traveled to Gambia on a Programme since December.
I traveled to Gambia as a beneficiary of Tony Elumelu Foundation for Young African Entrepreneurs programme to receive the seed capital disbursement.
Now when the disbursement was made I sent her money, and to my brothers, she said I ought to have given her more than I gave her instead of the much I gave my brother to invest in business for them.
Secondly, I've not paid her bride price and other rites for some time, because she was from a broken home and the mother married three men and had children for all of the men, so she mislead I and my parents when we took the first wine. This, got my dad angry.
Since 2014, I haven't had a good job in other to save enough money for the traditional rites, so we were happy when this opportunity to come to Gambia through TEF after being shortlisted.
I came in December and between January and February we were communicating and I was sending her money, but when she noticed that I didn't have enough money to send to her anymore, because I had to get a place and settle down in other to coordinate the 2022 applicants for TEF.
She blocked my line for months March and April. I had call the Pastor so that she will unblock my line, which she did, but sent me a chat that she had a dream that am with a woman here and she is suffering in Nigeria, I told her no, it is the TV CNN RUSSIA INVADES UKRAINE.
That she no longer consider herself as someone with a husband that someone is asking her hand in marriage.
Meaning while she blocked my line she was seeing someone.
After a week she sends me a chat that she has found someone who love her and the children who she is going to be happy with. She blocked my line again, I had to ask my brothers to call he but she told them that it's over between us, if they have something else to say apart from my relationship with her they should say it or she will drop the phone and she did.
Everyone in the house became angry with her. She doesn't even allow my friends to stop her on the way to speak to her on my behalf. She has told me to find someone here and marry, that she is no longer interested in the relationship.
Her family have a history of failed marriages, and I didn't want my own to end up that way.
I can look for someone here or back home to marry, but I know the Lord called me into this. The Lord told me that she is my wife, and she had a prophecy from three different Men and Women of God in one week. Monday, Wednesday and Friday confirming that am her husband, but her mother had kicked against this relationship from day one in 2013.
So is she free to marry another man?
Am I then free to marry or seek a new relationship?
In Igbo land the man that pays the dowry is the actual husband, and if the lady has children from previous relationship and the new guy pays the dowry is it right for him to claim the kids after marriage?
