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Islamiyat Ayanwale Olatunde, online, Lagos (2025)

25/09/2025

Assalamualaikum Mummy Jamal and Mummy Ashash, let's have a family meeting! about our children who are gifts and amanah (trust) placed on us from Allah. Our children are gifts, blessings, and trusts placed on us from Allah.

As mothers, if we truly understand what amanah (trust) is, we will care and prioritize every single thing that contributes to our kids' development. We will want to make sure we're setting them up for success. From infancy to adulthood, every moment matters. We want them to grow into good, respected, and responsible adults. And it all starts from their early years.

No good mom wants her child to turn out otherwise - we want them to be an answered prayer! Let's talk about the things that shape them into humble and grounded individuals, like what we pack in their lunchboxes for school. As much as we want healthy meals, we should be moderate with our choices so our kids don't feel inferior or superior to others.

Every little thing we do shapes how they see the world and impacts the kind of people they become, affecting their relationships and interactions for years to come.

What we pack in a kid's lunchbox can say a lot about how they see themselves - it makes them feel like they fit in with their friends, or they're somehow less than or more than others.

Let's be real, we want the best for our kids, but there's a difference between packing healthy, nutritious meals and luxury items that can create a sense of entitlement.

Even with healthy options, the choices we make can impact their sense of self.

So, mums, let's think about what we're packing - is it just filling their bellies or teaching them values of simplicity and gratitude? Consistently providing meals that prioritize nutrition over extravagance can help shape their relationships, including their future marriages, where humility and empathy matter.

May Allah crown all our efforts as we build our family into righteous and responsible individuals. And may we reap the rewards of our efforts in this world and in Jannah al-Firdaws. Motherhood is no joke, with all these struggles, don't we deserve Jannah al-Firdaws, eh, mothers 🤗.

May we all end up in Jannah al-Firdaws with our spouses and children.

Kulu Aameennnnnnnnnnn 😉

Oya let me see your Aameen in the comment section if you wish the same .

To my yet to marry sister, please,Do well to share this for your Aunty that has children. You want good for their family too isn't it😉 oya share. You be my person ! You will marry right and raise responsible and Righteous children too. Claim it!😊

Oh, Daddy Ramlah, please dont forget to share across your wife too. You definitely want to raise responsible and Righteous children.

*Islamiyat Ayanwale Olatunde* (Queenpreneur)
_Marriage/ Relationship Therapist_

31/08/2025

Don't let your challenges define you. Make something beautiful and productive out of who you're.The moment you start looking for validation, it affects your self-esteem and you begin to lose focus.

*Queenpreneur*

31/08/2025

There is always a best after another best. The earlier you understand this, the better.

*Queenpreneur*

31/08/2025

*Have you ever been in Umm Miqdad's shoes or similar situation?*

Umm Miqdad, a devoted wife and mother, had always sought to maintain peace in her husband's family. However, one of the elder family members, Umm Fam, would frequently make her feel belittled and small with her reactions and disrespectful communication. Umm Miqdad felt her emotions being trampled, and the silence was suffocating.

On one particular family event, Umm Fam dismissed Umm Miqdad's opinion in a rude manner in a public space, belittling her suggestion in front of other family members. Umm Miqdad felt disrespected and embarrassed. She felt she had had enough but was stuck on which route to follow, either to speak up or keep swallowing the pain.

Have you ever felt like you weren't being heard or frequently disrespected, or maybe picked on by someone in the family for no reason, and you want to find a way to speak up (protecting your mental health and speaking right, not crossing your boundaries)?

You need to understand that speaking up is different from speaking wrong. Speaking up is a necessity for your mental health, but speaking wrong can lead to more harm. Even if you speak wrong, your conscience will still haunt you, leaving you with silent pain and trauma from another person's triggers. Speaking up by speaking right is the way forward, as it helps quench the boiling anger rather than building more.

Everyone has a voice, but those who respect themselves use it right.

Book a one-on-one effective communication session with us: 09122397228, and learn how to speak up while maintaining your mental well-being.

Islamiyat Ayanwale Olatunde (Queenpreneur) Relationship Therapist for: *MY HOME MY AAKHIROH CONSULT*

31/08/2025

While I was reflecting on the story of the Prophet, particularly his relationship with his family, I highlighted a particular lesson that drew my attention. It's the relationship between him and his family member who didn't believe in what he (Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) believed in.

Talking about belief isn't limited to accepting Allah as the Creator and Muhammad as the Messenger of Allah. It spreads to every aspect of human life, such as lifestyle, exposure, behavioral patterns, choice of work and jobs, even to the peak of being a decent person. A decent person is reflected in their choice of clothes and how they wear them, as well as in their mode of communication and how they choose to express themselves.

You may have a family member who doesn't share your beliefs, especially when it comes to being a responsible person either religiously or morally. This can be evident in their appearance, communication, and actions, as every aspect of a person's life speaks to what they believe in. If you have a family member whose beliefs worry you, especially because you share the same blood, I want you to know that avoiding them isn't the way forward. However, the command of keeping family ties is an important aspect to consider, regardless of a family member's identity. Even when we want to ignore a family member whose beliefs contradict ours, we can't hide from the reality that they bear our family name and we share the same blood.

I want you to know that your worries about the lifestyle they've chosen for can be heartbreaking, especially if the lifestyle doesn't speak well. Even when they don't know, you silently feel pained for the path they choose to take in life. Your concern is understandable, and no true good person would ever be happy seeing their family walking on the wrong path.

Take this as an inspiration from me: you may not be able to stop them or choose a lifestyle for them, but with Tawakul and Du'a( prayer), you can definitely play a vital role in their life. The kind of Tawakul and Du'as( prayers) that money can't buy, neither can connections bring it to board. The kind of Tawakul and Du'a that only a strong and firm belief in the might of Allah and His ability to control the hearts can do can work for you like beyond your expectations. Be among their silent helpers and be that person whose efforts play a wonderful role in their lives.

For Counseling Session booking online :09122397228

*Islamiyat Ayanwale Olatunde*(Queenpreneur) Relationship Therapist

31/08/2025

Think Before you take any step or engage in any action.because it can either bring honour or humiliation to your family.

Islamiyat Ayanwale ( Queenpreneur)

31/08/2025

As a Marriage and Relationship Therapist, I advise paying close attention to your prospective partner and investing in Spouse Selection - pre-marital counseling before you finalize your Yes-I-do decision. This will help you make informed decisions. Because wrong decision can pave way for regrets.

Remember, you can't change or package the follow-come seed. Read the flier !

~*Islamiyat Ayanwale Olatunde* (_Queenpreneur_)

To book a counseling session with us @ MY HOME MY AAKHIROH CONSULT, CONTACT:09122397228

21/07/2025

*Ramlah*, do you know that love is expressed differently by men and women? Let me tell you, the nature of their roles – protector and submission – usually reflects in their manner of showing love to each other.

When a man loves his wife, he prioritizes her happiness, making her feel valued and cherished. However, true happiness might sometimes require tough decisions, even if it means depriving her of certain things that could lead to greater loss in the long run – a sacrifice he might make for her well-being, even if she doesn't see it that way.

On the other hand, when a woman loves her husband, she goes out of her way to satisfy his needs, showing her love through care, support, and submission to his leadership. Sometimes it even takes going against her own values just to prove her love to her spouse.

Umm Jamil, Abu Lahab's wife, is a typical example. She went to extremes to show her love to her husband's cause by actively working against the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), even spreading thorns and harming others to support her husband's stance.

You know that feeling of "My wife is rooting for me" – that will pop into the mind of a person when they see their spouse going to extremes to fight whom their spouse detests? Actions like this or similar to it are a wrong way of showing love or loving the wrong thing.

Understand that, no matter how much we try to switch roles in our homes, the inherent nature of men and women, as created by Allah, will inevitably shape their interactions and expressions of love.

Islamiyat Ayanwale.O
Marriage Counselor/ Relationship Therapist

20/06/2025

Auzubillah Mina Shaitani Rajim Bismillahi Ar-Rahman Ar-Raheem.

Our topic for today is _SELFISHNESS_. When you hear the word selfish, what does it mean to you?

It's about prioritizing one's own interests and desires over others, often with a sense of superiority.

This should be for me only...

I should be the one controlling it, not that person...

I'm worthy of it better than that person...

Why should you have it when I'm better than you...

I cannot bend for you because I'm superior and better than you....

Who are you...?
...Do you know who I am?

All these feelings stem from the trait of Shaitan.

When these feelings strike the heart, it shows arrogance, pride, and selfishness.

As light as the word selfish sounds, it is causing a big war between two big countries now, and we hope it doesn't lead to World War III. Iran and Israel are fighting, and I'm sure you're aware. For those who don't understand why there's so much bombing between them, let me break it down simply. Imagine Rasheedah has a knife for protection, and her neighbor, Hamdallah, also wants a knife for protection. Rasheedah doesn't want Hamdallah to own a knife. This knife represents nuclear weapons used for protecting one's nation in case of war.

Israel has nuclear weapons, and Iran wants to have its own, but Israel says no. The reason for this rejection is because Israel wants to maintain control over Iran, just like in Palestine and Gaza.

This selfishness of wanting to always be in control leads to attacks, and that's how it escalated.

*This may sound like politics, but in reality, people engage in similar behavior in their various occupations, whether in private companies, government work, or trading.*

Many rich people don't pay zakat, and many poor people don't give sadaqah because they feel what they have is not this is an act of selfishness.

We forget that we're not truly Muslims when our stomachs are full, and our neighbors go hungry to sleep. many of us don't practice Islam with our behaviors.

Let's look at Surah Al-Insan, Verse 9:

"إِنَّمَا نُطْعِمُكُمْ لِوَجْهِ اللَّهِ لَا نُرِيدُ مِنكُمْ جَزَاءً وَلَا شُكُورًا"

(We only feed you for Allah's sake; we desire from you neither reward nor thanks).

What led to the revelation of this verse?

🎑Once upon a time, Husain, the son of Ali and Fatima, was ill. As parents, we know how worried we get when our child falls ill. Ali and Fatima prayed for their son's health and well-being and vowed to fast for three days if Allah granted him good health.

🎑The whole family, including Father, Mother, and their other son Hassan, embarked on the three-day fast as promised. Despite struggling to make ends meet and feeling hungry, they chose to fast. Upon breaking their fast each day, people in need would come to their doorstep seeking help and food:

1. _مِسْكِينًا_ (Miskinan) - The poor, 2. _يَتِيمًا_ (Yatiman) - The orphan, and 3. _أَسِيرًا_ (Asiran) - The captive.

Allah says in Surah Al-Insan, Verse 8: وَيُطْعِمُونَ الطَّعَامَ عَلَىٰ حُبِّهِ مِسْكِينًا وَيَتِيمًا وَأَسِيرًا

(And they give food out of love for Him to the poor and the orphan and the captive).

Allahu Akbar!

Look at what the Prophet said: "You're not truly a Muslim until what you want or love for yourself, you want for others." Sallalau alaihi wa salaam.

🎑According to the narrative, when the poor person, orphan, and captive came to their doorstep on each of the three days, Ali and his family gave them their own food, which consisted of bread.

🎑Imagine you're fasting, and it's time to break your fast, and someone comes pleading for food.

Anyone can fall into the state of being needy.

👉🏻While scrolling through Facebook, I saw a post from a guy named VDM creating awareness about how people in Benue were killed and burned by Fulani herdsmen. In the video, he was giving dollars to a particular man who happened to be one of the richest in the community, but all his properties were burned down. What situation did the man fall into? A needy!

So, anyone can fall into the situation of being needy.

🎑Ali and his family gave the food they were supposed to use to break their fast to the needy who came seeking food.

🎑What did they say to these three people? 👇🏻

إِنَّمَا نُطْعِمُكُمْ لِوَجْهِ اللَّهِ لَا نُرِيدُ مِنكُمْ جَزَاءً وَلَا شُكُورًا

We only feed you for Allah's sake; we desire from you neither reward nor thanks

👉🏻 *They weren't selfish with their food because they strongly believed that the One who provided them with that food would definitely reward them with something better.*

Can we do this?

👉🏻Selfishness often clouds our judgment. It's by Allah's mercy that we can think outside the box. We see market women fighting each other, swearing at each other, over petty issues ( You sell more than I do )

Online vendors envy fellow vendors simply because they want to start selling what the other person is selling.

Even in private companies and government organization, coworker gets envy of one another over selfish interest.

We make silly mistakes over selfish interest.

The saying "I want to be the best among the rest" isn't a good attribute of a good Muslim.

We should learn from the story of Al-Khidr and Prophet Musa (A.S). how Allah corrected Prophet Musa from the idea of being the most knowledgeable person.

We shouldn't be misled by western ideologies that contradict Islamic teachings. Allah can flip our situation within a twinkle of an eye, so let's be careful. Nothing is permanent in this life.

👉🏻Selfishness isn't a good thing; it will only cause destruction and disunity, just like what's happening between Iran and Israel now. May Allah intervene. Aameen.

👉🏻Instead of praying to be the best or outstanding, let's say "I want to be among the best." "Ya Allah, count me among the best" is different from "Make me the best."

👉🏻 May Allah make this conversation a good manifestation in our lives. Aameen.

Reminder benefits the believers.

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatu.

Islamiyat Ayanwale Olatunde (Queenpreneur)
Marriage counselor/ Relationship Therapist

17/06/2025

Assalamualaikum,*MR & MRS YOU, Please , kindly pay attention to what I'm about to say.*

You're not stuck; it's just not yet time to move to the next level.

Everything has its prescribed time. No matter how much you worry or try to hasten certain stages in life, you may feel like you're not moving forward, but that's not true. Trails in life can make you think you're not moving forward sometimes.

But then, Look back at your life from birth to where you are now. From a drop of s***m to a clinging clot, to flesh and bones, to birth, and from birth to crawling, sitting, standing, and walking. All these stages were planned by Allah with His decree of *"Be, and it is."*

Your ability to speak, think, and understand is from His decree *"BE ,AND IT IS".* How can you now doubt that you're not moving forward when the Supreme is in control?

Whatever struggles you're facing—whether work, family, or marriage—know that it can be fixed with Allah's decree.

When it comes to marriage, whether you're seeking a spouse, navigating the journey of matrimony, or facing challenges within it, remember that Allah is the ultimate guide. Trust in His plan for selecting a life partner, and seek His guidance in building a strong foundation.

If problems arise—whether misunderstandings, communication breakdowns, or differences in opinion—turn to Allah through prayer and reflection. Seek counseling and guidance from those who can offer wise advice, and make sincere dua (supplication) to Allah for resolution. After making such efforts, trust in Allah's wisdom and decree, knowing that He can mend the tears and strengthen the bond, bringing comfort, protection, and tranquility to your relationship. Even challenges related to children can be eased with Iman (faith) and trust.

Whether it's parenting struggles, financial strain, or other marital trials, know that walking on the path of Guidance and Allah's guidance can provide solutions. If you're facing difficulties in your current marriage or considering another union, seek Allah's wisdom and trust in His decree.

With sincere prayer and reliance on Him, He can bring about positive change and guide you toward what is best for you. Through walking on the path of guidance and trusting in the One who controls the *"Be,"* you can navigate the complexities of marriage with Iman (faith) and confidence.

So, why not walk on the path of guidance and pray rather than relying solely on your own instincts? When your trust in Allah isn't firm, you'll doubt your prayers being answered. If you could rely on Allah like birds do—making effort and having total trust—you'd realize that the One who controls the *"Be"* can make all your problems correct, including those in your marriage.

Never loose Hope!

*Islamiyat Ayanwale Olatunde* (Queenpreneur)
Marriage counselor/ Relationship Therapist

Islamiyat Ayanwale Olatunde

25/09/2025

31/08/2025

31/08/2025

31/08/2025

31/08/2025

31/08/2025

31/08/2025

21/07/2025

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17/06/2025

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