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Blissful Relationship & Marriage, 10 Ayodeji Street, Gbagada Phase 2, Lagos (2025)

22/11/2023

*The SEVEN HARD SECRETS OF STAYING IN MARRIAGE FOR LIFE*

1. *Understanding the mystery of two becoming ONE* –

You and your spouse are one: in purpose and in vision [both of you are in the same boat, heading to the same destination, not divergent ones. Storms may arise on the journey against you, but remember that you must work together to keep the boat safe because therein lies your safety.

2. *Understanding the BOAT* carrying you!

The vessel carrying both of you even in an unfriendly climate is YOU. You are the boat – anything that befalls anyone of you would impede your smooth navigation on the ocean of life. Take good care of the Boat – take good care of yourselves reciprocally. Injuring your spouse is creating a hole in a boat, a leakage that would soon sink the boat [both of you] in the chilling waters of calamity and death. Take good care of yourselves reciprocally!

3. *Understanding the strength of your boat!*

Know your strength and your capacity. Observe the state of your boat. Move progressively and not rushing speedily, because soon or later you’ll wear out and pack up.

4. *Understanding and knowing yourselves!*

Know yourself: your temperament, habit, in fact your character – Now, know your spouse also. Make a list of your weak points and that of your spouse … Make another list of strong points of both of you. Whether you like it or not, you must balance the equation in the sense that you are his/her strength in the face of weakness and he/she is yours vice versa.

5. *Understanding and knowing your health status!*

You know what your spouse can and cannot do; what she can and cannot bear. Never do anything that would tamper and create health crisis.

6. *Understanding the paradigm of peace!*

It is based on mutuality! I would not be the one who would create unrest in our home – If I confess I would not and you say, you would not, then who would be? Peace would reign till his kingdom comes…!

7. *Understanding the role of money in the marriage!*

The lack of money is the root of all evils. Perpetual penury, lack and misery tend to decrease love for each other and generate unnecessary heat in the boat. By all legitimate means possible, g

16/11/2023

WHY DO CELEBRITIES’ RELATIONSHIPS AND MARRIAGES FAIL?

Failed relationships and marriages can result from a variety of complex factors. It is important to note that each relationship is unique, and the reasons for failure can vary widely.

Here are some common causes:

1. Communication Issues:

Effective communication is crucial in any relationship. Poor communication, whether it's a lack of openness, ineffective listening, or frequent misunderstandings, can lead to frustration, resentment, and ultimately the breakdown of the relationship.

2. Lack of Trust:

Trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship. When trust is broken due to dishonesty, infidelity, or other betrayals, it can be challenging to rebuild, often leading to the deterioration of the relationship.

3. Unresolved Conflicts:

Every relationship faces conflicts, but when issues go unresolved or are not addressed constructively, they can accumulate and create a toxic environment. Repeated unresolved conflicts can erode the emotional connection between partners.

4. Different Values and Goals:

Partners may find it challenging to sustain a relationship if they have fundamental differences in values, life goals, or priorities. These disparities can lead to ongoing tension and dissatisfaction.

5. Lack of Emotional Intimacy:
Emotional intimacy involves the ability to share and connect on a deep emotional level. When partners feel emotionally disconnected or when one partner is emotionally unavailable, it can strain the relationship.

6. Financial Stress:

Money problems, such as financial disagreements, debt, or differing attitudes toward spending and saving, can contribute to relationship strain. Financial stressors may become particularly challenging if not addressed collaboratively.
7. Infidelity:

Cheating or infidelity can be a major breach of trust and a leading cause of relationship breakdown. Rebuilding trust after an affair is a difficult process, and not all couples can overcome it.

8. Unmet Expectations:

Unmet expectations, whether related to roles, responsibilities, or emotional needs, can lead to disappointment and resentment. Clear communication about expectations and a willingness to compromise is crucial for relationship success.

9. Lack of Emotional Support:

Feeling unsupported or emotionally neglected can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation. A healthy relationship requires emotional support from both partners.

10. External Stressors:

External factors such as job-related stress, family issues, or health problems can put significant strain on a relationship. The ability to navigate these stressors together is essential for a relationship's resilience.

It is important to recognize that these factors are often interconnected, and addressing them requires open communication, commitment, and sometimes professional assistance, such as couples therapy, to work through underlying issues. Every relationship is unique, and the dynamics at play can be complex and multifaceted.

16/11/2023

Lack of Trust: The Destructive Cankerworm of Relationship and Marriage

Lack of trust can significantly destroy the foundation of any relationship, be it romantic, familial, or professional. Trust is the bedrock upon which healthy connections are built, and when it is compromised, the consequences can be profound.

Let’s see some main points of the impact and causes of a lack of trust in relationships and marriage.

1. Betrayal:
• Impact: One of the most common causes of trust issues is betrayal, which can manifest as infidelity, dishonesty, or a breach of promises. The emotional toll of betrayal can create deep wounds and erode the trust that took time to build.

• Consequence: Rebuilding trust after a betrayal is a challenging process that requires sincere remorse, consistent effort, and transparency from the party that broke the trust.

2. Inconsistent Behaviour:
• Impact: Trust is built on consistency. If a person's behaviour is unpredictable or inconsistent, it can lead to skepticism and uncertainty.

• Consequence: Individuals may find it difficult to rely on or believe in someone whose actions vary widely, causing a breakdown in trust.

3. Lack of Openness and Transparency:
• Impact: Trust thrives on openness and transparency. When individuals withhold information, whether intentionally or due to fear, it can create suspicion and unease.

• Consequence: The absence of transparency can lead to a sense of secrecy and make it challenging for individuals to feel secure in the relationship.

4. Past Traumas:
• Impact: Individuals who have experienced past traumas, such as betrayal or abandonment, may struggle with trust issues in new relationships. Past wounds can influence their ability to fully trust others.

• Consequence: Healing from past traumas often requires patience, understanding, and a commitment to building trust gradually.

5. Poor Communication:
• Impact: Communication issues can contribute to a lack of trust. Misunderstandings, unaddressed concerns, and a failure to communicate openly can create a breeding ground for mistrust.

• Consequence: Establishing clear and open communication is essential for rebuilding trust. It involves actively listening, expressing oneself honestly, and addressing concerns promptly.

6. Unrealistic Expectations:
• Impact: Unrealistic expectations, whether too high or too low, can strain trust. They may lead to disappointment, and individuals may question the sincerity of their partner's actions.

• Consequence: Establishing realistic expectations and communicating them openly can help manage trust issues by fostering a more honest and understanding relationship dynamic.

7. Repeated Disappointments:
• Impact: Consistent letdowns or broken promises can erode trust over time. If one party repeatedly fails to meet expectations or follow through on commitments, trust can diminish.

• Consequence: Rebuilding trust requires a concerted effort to fulfill promises and demonstrate reliability. Consistent, positive actions over time can help restore confidence.

Addressing trust issues involves open communication, understanding the root causes, and a commitment from both parties to rebuild trust gradually. Seeking the guidance of a therapist or counselor can be valuable in navigating the complexities of trust-related challenges within relationships.

16/11/2023

COMMUNICATION ISSUES: The causes of failed Relationships and Marriage

There are common and significant factors in the breakdown of relationships, whether they be romantic, familial, or professional.
Effective communication is the cornerstone of a healthy rapport, and when problems arise in this area, they can lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, and mistrust.

Here are some main points of communication issues:

1. Lack of Openness and Honesty:

• Problem: Ineffective communication often creates a lack of openness and honesty. Partners may withhold their true feelings or thoughts, fearing negative reactions or conflict.

• Impact: This can create an atmosphere of secrecy and mistrust, preventing the development of a deep and meaningful relationship or marriage.

2. Poor Listening Skills:
• Problem: Communication is a two-way traffic, and poor listening skills can hinder understanding. Interrupting, not fully paying attention, or dismissing the other person's perspective can lead to frustration.

• Impact: Feelings of being not expressed can drain out relationships and make partners feel non-appreciated.

3. Assumptions and Misinterpretations:
• Problem: Making assumptions about what the other person is thinking or feeling, without clarifying, can lead to misunderstandings. People may interpret words and actions differently, causing confusion.

• Impact: Misinterpretations can result in unnecessary conflicts and destroy the trust built through clear communication.

4. Unhealthy Expression of Emotions:
• Problem: Difficulty in constructively expressing emotions can lead to emotional outbursts, passive-aggressive behaviour, or emotional withdrawal.

• Impact: Unhealthy expression of emotions can create a hostile environment, making it difficult for partners to feel emotionally safe within the relationship or marriage
5. Communication Styles and Preferences:

• Problem: Individuals may have different communication styles or preferences. Some people may prefer direct communication, while others may lean towards indirect or non-verbal communication.

• Impact: Wrong management of communication styles can lead to frustration and misunderstandings, as one person may feel ignored or overwhelmed by the other's preferred mode of communication.

6. Failure to Communicate Needs and Expectations:
• Problem: Partners may not communicate their needs, expectations, or boundaries effectively. Assumptions about what the other person should know or do can lead to unmet expectations.

• Impact: This lack of clarity can result in disappointment and frustration, as both individuals may have different assumptions about the relationship.

7. Defensiveness and Criticism:

• Problem: Responding defensively or with criticism during communication can create a hostile environment. It can hinder open dialogue and problem-solving.

• Impact: A defensive or critical stance can escalate conflicts and make it difficult for individuals to express themselves without fear of judgment.

Addressing communication issues requires improving listening skills, promoting openness, and creating an environment where both parties feel comfortable expressing themselves honestly.

Couples facing persistent communication challenges may benefit from seeking the assistance of a therapist or counselor to develop healthier communication patterns.

08/10/2023

The Seven Hard Secrets of Staying in Marriage for Life

1. Understanding the mystery of two becoming ONE – You and your spouse are one: in purpose and in vision [both of you are in the same boat, heading to the same destination, not divergent ones. Storms may arise on the journey against you, but remember that you must work together to keep the boat safe because therein lies your safety.

2. Understanding the BOAT carrying you! The vessel carrying both of you even in an unfriendly climate is YOU. You are the boat – anything that befalls any of you would impede your smooth navigation on the ocean of life. Take good care of the Boat – take good care of yourselves reciprocally. Injuring your spouse creates a hole in the boat, a leakage that would soon sink the boat [both of you] in the chilling waters of calamity and death. Take good care of yourselves reciprocally!

3. Understanding the strength of your boat! Know your strength and your capacity. Observe the state of your boat. Move progressively and do not rush speedily, because you’ll wear out and pack up sooner or later.

4. Understanding and knowing yourselves! Know yourself: your temperament, habit, in fact, your character – Now, know your spouse also. Make a list of your weak points and that of your spouse … Make another list of strong points of both of you. Whether you like it or not, you must balance the equation in the sense that you are his/her strength in the face of weakness and he/she is yours, and vice versa.

5. Understanding and knowing your health status! You know what your spouse can and cannot do; what she can and cannot bear. Never do anything that would tamper and create a health crisis.

6. Understanding the paradigm of peace! It is based on mutuality! I would not be the one who would create unrest in our home – If I confess I would not and you say, you would not, then who would be? Peace would reign till his kingdom comes…!

7. Understanding the role of money in the marriage! The lack of money is the root of all evil. Perpetual poverty, lack, and misery tend to decrease love for each other and generate unnecessary heat in the boat. By all legitimate means possible, get yourselves out of abject poverty and endeavour to possess life’s necessities. Be content with what you have! Reconcile yourselves with God and commit to His hands all your life challenges! Work for a better future and never lose hope! It shall be well!

-Daniel Yehoessi, Marriage Therapist
(My WhatsApp link is in the comment section)

19/08/2023

The only person dear in your heart beside God the Creator is your spouse.

Blissful Relationship & Marriage

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