22/01/2021
WHEN YOUR WIFE HAS A FIANCE💔
My name is Alfred, a 39 year old man. I was raised by my mom alone. As a child, she always taught me not to hurt my friends emotionally, most especially women. She kept repeating that to me. When I completed secondary school, I made a promise to her that I will forever in my life respect women and I won’t do anything to hurt them emotionally.
From childhood to adulthood, I never had a friend apart from my mother till I met my wife. My mom introduced her to me. My wife’s mother and my mother have been friends since childhood. We began to admire each other, dated for two months and eventually got married in May last year.
When we got home after the wedding, I realized, when I touch my wife, she becomes uncomfortable. Even if I put my hands on her neck, she put up this weird attitude of not feeling at ease. I began to worry about that, so I spoke with her and she didn’t give any reasons for doing that. I said to myself maybe I have wronged her in a way I haven’t noticed. I knelt in front of her one evening and begged her to forgive me if I have wronged her unknowingly. She told me there is nothing to be sorry for because I haven’t done anything to her. I then asked her, what I can do for her to be happy because she hasn’t been herself for a while now. She asked me to buy her a Land rover Discovery and she will be happy.
I did that the next day, got her the car and I was thinking for the first time, my wife will allow me sleep with her but that evening too, she denied me. I realized maybe I am putting too much pressure on her to have s*x with me, so I apologized to her for trying to have s*x with her. That was the second time in our six months of marriage I asked of it and I was turned down. Because I don’t want to feel bad about putting people into emotional situations, I have stopped asking for s*x and I haven’t attempted that since July.
Truth be told, sometimes I have to deeply control myself because it is not easy. When I’m in the mood and can’t control myself, I go to the hall just to play a Basketball game to take my mind off it. Now it has become normal to me that, no matter what I do, I will not have the chance to have intimacy with my wife and I have accepted it.
Just this 2 weeks ago, I overheard her conversation with on phone with her mum and I quote: “mummy, what you told me is very true. Alfred is very weak and soft. Anytime I put on a sad look, he will be worried the whole day and will start begging me to forgive him, knowing very well he hasn’t done anything, I make a request and guess what, he won’t think twice about it, he will get it for me. He bought me a land rover Discovery two months ago and I have given it to my fiancée, I told him I have sold it because I don’t fancy the colour anymore, I demanded a Toyota Prado and he got me that one too, after one week, I gave it to my fiancée because he demanded it. Mummy, Alfred is very weak, I have never seen him get angry before, always smiling. I will use his weaknesses to be free always.”
When I heard this, I called my mum, asked her if she has had any conversation with my wife concerning my personality. That was when my mum told me, she remembers having a conversation with my wife’s mother about me. She wanted to know me more before introducing me to her daughter, so she told her everything about me. I didn’t tell my mummy why I asked her those questions, I only told her I notice my wife talks to her mother very often and she is always praising me to her mother.
Please I don’t know how to break the news to my mother because I am afraid of her reactions knowing very well she has hypertension.
Second, I am thinking of a divorce but I am also scared of the emotional state of my wife if I tell her I need a divorce.
House, please advise me on what to do, because I am really suffering within.
